FROM HERE, TO ETERNITY
by DARK M PRESS
Summary: AU.MID NEWMOON. What if Jacob agreed to run away with Bella and they fell in love? but Edward can't let go? JxB
1. PREFACE

A/N :2nd fanfic...crit. welcome but be nic////i do not own twilight or its chareacters

* * *

**_IM NATURALLY HAPPY..._**

_preface_

I stood in front of him, looking up into his beautiful eyes as he stared down into mine adoringly.I wondered why it had taken us so long to reach this point. I knew this was it, the natural path my life had taken. He was exactly right for me. I knew that now, this was the way it was suppose to be. I wouldn't no- I couldn't ask for anymore. I was truly happy.


	2. YOU AN ME

_**JUST LET IT ALL SLIP AWAY, AND COME WITH ME...**_

_You and me_

Something scratched against my window again with the same thin, high-pitched sound. Confused and clumsy with sleep, I stumbled out of my bed, heading to the window, blinking the lingering tears from my eyes on the way. I was still upset over Jacob, I had cried myself to sleep over him, and his harsh rejection. It wasn't so much that he wouldn't tell me what was going on, it was more because of his change in attitude. He seemed more indifferent especially towards my feelings, like he didn't even care that he had hurt me, as long as I was away from him. His new behavior had punched a painful new hole in what was left in my chest from when Edward had left. Also Jacob had left a new nightmare behind, one that I had been suffering from prior to waking up due to the scratching on my window.

A huge, dark shape wobbled erratically on the other side of the glass, lurching toward me like it was going to smash right through. I was suddenly terrified and tried to remember not to scream, to keep Charlie from coming to investigate, I had to protect him from her.

Victoria.

The sadistic vampire intent on torturing me to death, because that was her mates intention. He had gotten killed for it though, by Edwards 'brothers' Jasper and Emmet. And she blamed me for it, so to get even she thought it would be appropriate to kill me. _Mate for mate._

But then a familiar husky voice called from the dark shape.

"Bella!" it hissed "damn it open the window!" I needed a second to shake off the horror, and when I calmed down, I opened the window.

"What are you doing?" I gasped

He was clinging to the top of the spruce tree that grew in the middle of the front yard. Under his weight, it seemed that the branches would snap, and he would fall 20 ft. to the ground, most likely to his death. It hurt to think that, and I winced, but Jacob didn't seem to notice.

"I'm trying to keep my promise to you!" he huffed. That confused me.

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself by falling out of Charlie's tree?"

He snorted, unamused. He began to swing his legs and ordered

"get out of the way" I tried to tell him not to attempt to jump through my window, from fear that he would fall to his death, but it was too late. I was actually shocked that he made it, he swung agilely into my room, landing on the balls of his feet with a low _thud._ I had thought for sure he would fall.

Automatically we both looked at the door, making shore that Charlie was still asleep. After a short moment, with no interruption from Charlie, we both sighed and turned back towards each other.

Looking quite pleased with himself, Jacob began to grin, it wasn't the sincere happy grin that I had grown accustomed to and loved, it was a new grin, bitter and mocking. It wasn't my grin at all, it was Sam's grin.

I couldn't believe he was here, in my room, smirking as if he hadn't done anything to me the past few days or weeks. I wasn't sure but I was too tired to care at the moment. There was the smirk, bitter and mocking, that I hated, the fact that I was dead tired, and the fact that Jacobs arrival brought back the memories of when Edward used to crawl through my window late at night. Needless to say, it didn't put me in the best of moods.

"Get out" I snapped. His face went black with surprise, he wasn't expecting that.

"No, I came here to apologize, and that's what I'm going to do" he said.

"I don't accept!" I wanted nothing more than to forgive him and forget this ever happened. But how did I know that he was sincere. So, I tried to shove him out of the window, it didn't work as well as I thought it would, he didn't budge. I removed my hands from his bare chest. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and I tried not to think of why it made me so uncomfortable. I tried to reason with myself that it wasn't because I was sort of kind of attracted to him. I scolded myself immediately for thinking that. Jacob was my friend, well sort of, and I tried to convince myself that was all I wanted from him.

frustrated, more with myself than at Jacob, I wanted to yell at him some more. It would make me feel better. But then it seemed like all of my sleepless nights were catching up to me. I was so extremely tired that I thought I might collapse right there on the floor. I swayed unsteadily and Jacob caught me by the elbow. I swayed a bit more, I couldn't stand on my own feet, Jacob ended up having to pick me up and carry me back to my bed. _When had he gotten so strong?_ Not that I weighed all that much but...

"Are you alright?" he asked. _How could he ask that. What did he think my answer would be?_

"No Jacob, im not alright, im dead tired, the love of my life left me, sent me spiraling into a deep depression, and when I finally find someone to help me out of it, he leaves me too. How in the world could I be alright?" I asked, blinking back fresh tears. He looked into my eyes, anguish replacing his bitter expression.

"I know bella, and I'm really sorry, please believe that I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"How could I believe that, after all you've done to me lately. And I don't understand Jacob" he was a complete jerk earlier today and now he wanted my forgiveness. What was wit him?

" I know bella, and I wish I could explain everything to you but-" he stopped suddenly, sounding as if something had cut off his air. If he really wanted to explain, he'd just do it.

Then, randomly, he began to ask me about secrets. He asked if I ever had a secret that wasn't mine to tell, that I felt obligated to protect. He looked at me with knowing eyes, like suddenly he knew all about my secret. But I still didn't understand how that applied to Sam, Billy, or Jake.

" I don't understand why you're here Jacob, if you were just going to give me riddles instead of answers, I'm finished playing games with you" I said bitterly. It was my turn to be bitter, after all he woke me up, and for what, just to piss me off?

"The part the kills me" he began "is that I've already told you everything, you know what's going on"

I was too confused to answer.

Then he began asking me about the first time we met. When we had gone for a walk done the beach, and I had flirted to pump him for information. And he told me Quileute legends. Trying to scare me. I couldn't remember much about them, only one story had really mattered at the time. But something told me that wasn't the story he was asking about. I knew that he had begun with other stories, but I couldn't remember exactly what they were about. It was a long time ago, and I was exhausted.

" I guess I understand why you only remember the one story" he turned bitter again, with a hint of sarcasm. I was sick of this. I only rolled my eyes.

"You can't imagine, how tight im bound bella, if I could tell you, I would" he said, closing his eyes briefly, as his face twisted in pain. I realized how much it hurt me, to see him like that. And again, I denied why I felt so strongly. I wanted to help, and involving Charlie obviously did nothing. So it was up to me. I proposed a proposition, and if he refused, I would give up, because I had tried everything else and failed.

"No Jake," I moaned " what if we ran away? Just you and me. What if we left home, and left sam behind?"

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. I guessed that he was thinking about it from all angle, because his face crumpled like it always did when he was in deep thought. I waited patiently for him to open his eyes and reply. After what seemed like an eternity, he slowly opened his eyes and answered

"alright, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to run with you, but it's worth a try" I couldn't restrain myself from wrapping my arms around his waist, in a tight embrace. I looked up, he was smiling-my smile- my Jacob was back.

* * *

**A/N:MUST READ THIS IS ONLY MY SEC. STORY, NOT JUST FOR THE SITE BUT EVER...IM NOT REALLY A GOOD WRITTER BUT I TRY...OK IM NOT EXACTLY SURE IF ITS ANY GOOD OR NOT..IT MAY HAVE BEEN A BAD IDEA EVEN TRYIN THIS IDEA...SO IF I DONT GET LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEWS I WONT UPDATE CUZ THAT MEANS NO ONE LIKES IT..SO NO ONE WANTS 2 READ IT SO I DONT HAVE 2 UPDATE...SO REVIEW...ALOT!!! AND THX...**


	3. RUNNING

**_a/n: this is for the loverly dezi aka _**wolfgil101...

* * *

****

_Running_

Jacob had said that it would be best to leave right away. As fast as we could. Just in case Sam and the others decided to come after him. He wasn't sure if the would or not.

He had given me a little time to pack my things, I only took what could fit in the duffle bag, the same one I took when I had run away with Edward. It hurt to think about that, so I didn't. That was going to be how I dealt with everything, I just wouldn't think about the old times. I would focus only on Jacob and I, oh, and the running away because that was sort of important.

I packed a few clothes and shoes, soap, toothpaste, my toothbrush, and what little shampoo I had left, and some hair eclectics and my brush. I really didn't have any room for anything else. But that was all I needed. But what about what Jake needed?

While packing I realized how bad I felt , because Jacob didn't have any clothes, but I had an idea to fix that. To execute my plan, I began walking out of my bedroom door.

"Where are you going bella?" Jacob whispered. He sounded nervous and afraid.

"I'll be right back, im not leaving you" I said. And I realized, and I think he did too, that what I said didn't just apply to tonight, but it was a vow to stay with him. I just wasn't sure if it was easier said than done.

I snuck into Charlie's room, as quietly as I could and went strait to his dresser. It felt so strange to be stealing my fathers underwear, but as they say 'desperate times, desperate measures' and this was defiantly a desperate time. After taking, just a few, of my fathers boxer shorts, I went to the back of his closet, to take old clothes that I knew wouldn't be missed. Simple pants and shirts that I hoped matched, I couldn't see anything because I couldn't turn on the light that would wake him, I had to depend on the moonlight to help me find my way. With him snoring slightly, I snuck back over to his bed and looked down at him, he looked so peaceful. No daughter to worry about, no crime, just peace, just happy thoughts. It was a good mental picture to keep. I would always remember him this way, I told myself silently, just in case I never got to see him again. With that final thought, I headed back out of his bedroom door and whispered a quick 'I love you dad.'

Jacob was still in my room, sitting on my bed when I came back to finish packing. He would have to carry the clothing that I had just taken, there was simply no room in the duffle bag. He raised an eyebrow at me when I placed the clothing in his lap, but figured it out quickly and didn't question me verbally.

Taking his stolen clothes in one hand and my bag in the other, Jacob went outside to the truck. I had told him that I could carry my own bag, but he didn't want to listen, so I let him go. No time to fight about something so insignificant. I went down stairs, almost falling on the last step, of course. Luckily I caught myself, and just this once I could blame my lack of grace on something else; The fact that I was still really, really tired.

I used the note pad, that was next to the phone in the kitchen, to write Charlie a goodbye letter. I almost cried, but I vowed to see him again, once Jacob and I were both sure it was safe. Which depended entirely on that little cult. If they chose to follow us or leave us alone. We would see how much danger we were in and might be able to come back. But secretly, a part of me wished that we would be so happy, that we would both forget about our old lives, and stay far, far away, _together._ I smiled slightly, and returned to the task at hand.

The note read

_Dad, _

_please don't be angry with me, im not running away again, I promise, as soon as its safe we will be back, think of it as a mini-vacation. I swear I will see you again, im not gone for good so please don't be to upset. Im safe, I love you, goodbye._

I wasn't sure how true the words were, but I knew they would comfort him, that's why I said them. We would be safe, and most likely be back. I just wasn't sure if I truly did want to come back. But there wasn't nearly enough time to think it all through now. I would just see were fate would take Jacob and I.

I grabbed a jacket, and made my way outside, knowing that I would miss Charlie terribly. But I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision to run away with Jacob. Nothing at the moment was more important than him. It seemed that there was no other way, and I thought that it could work. My lack of regret however, didn't stop a single tear from falling, as I locked the front door, maybe for the last time.

I walked outside, and down my drive way. I looked up at the truck, Jacob was already in the drivers seat. I would have to thank him for that. I was in no condition to drive, I would probably fall asleep and crash.

I would have been blind walking outside this late at night, or early in the morning, which ever way you want to look at it, but the headlights from my truck, bright as hell, lit up the driveway. I hurried, as fast as I could without tripping, to the truck. And slid into the passenger seat I tilted my head back, I was ready to go back to sleep. I was so tired, not only had a been suffering from insomnia terribly, but when I finally did get some rest, Jacob jumps through my window waking me up. But I truly wasn't upset, his little daredevil of a stunt had gotten me my best friend back.

As Jacob pulled out of the drive way, I suddenly remembered, that we had no money. Even as tired as I was, I was still slightly responsible.

"Jake" I began "we have no cash."

"I've got some Bella, don't worry about it" I knew that he had a little. But that wasn't fair, to make him pay for everything. After all it was my plan to run away. I couldn't do that to him.

"Jake, take us to the bank" I ordered.

"no" he said, with a determined look on his face.

I was in no mood to deal with his rebellious attitude and he protested, for about five minutes. I tried to reason with him that he didn't need to support us both. We would share expenses. I almost slipped and said 'that's what couples do' but I wasn't sure what we were right now, and I also wasn't sure if I was even ready to emotionally attach myself to anyone like that again. I already depended on him way too much, would it get worse if we were a couple? Well, I didn't have time to think about it for long, because I still had to convince him to stop at the bank.

"Jacob black, you take us to the bank this instant!" I screamed as loud as I could. I knew that would get his attention. I had screamed it directly into his ear. He flinched a little, and then sighed, in defeat. I win! I almost screamed, gloating, but I knew better. I was way to old for such an outburst. But Jacob brought out the more childish, carefree side of me.

We ended up stopping at an atm vestibule, and emptying out my bank account. It wasn't much, but it would be enough for the next few weeks. When we finally settled, we would have to get jobs. I wasn't sure how good those jobs would be with both of us lacking high school diplomas but, we could try right?

The ride was silent. We were both too tired to speak. We were both dead tired and I told Jake he could pull over, and rest, but he said 'not until we are not in forks anymore'. After about 45 minutes or so, we passed a sign that read _'now leaving forks'_. It wouldn't have taken so long in any other vehicle, but my truck just wasn't fast enough.

But Jacob didn't pull over right away, and I wondered why. But I thought it would be best not to question him. This was hard enough on him as it was, without me questioning him. I was sure he knew what he was doing though, I trusted him. He pulled of the highway about ten minutes later, and to my surprise, there was a little hotel right there. And when I say little, I mean really, really little. But I was, and im sure Jake was too, way to tired to care.

The man behind the desk was fast asleep. We woke him up when we both walked in. He looked like he needed some sleep too, and I almost felt bad for waking him. But since it was, after all, his job, he shouldn't have been sleeping at all. So I didn't feel too bad.

"We need your first available rooms" Jacob said softly. He looked so worn out, and despite his size, he looked young and scared, venerable, _innocent_. And I almost smiled, the old Jacob was returning already.

" I'm sorry sir, we only have one more vacant room, and it only has one bed" he informed us. How could a place like this, in the middle of no where be full. I know that it was little but ...

Jacob, respectfully, looked at me. I think he was going to judge my reaction. That was sweet, I could almost read his mind, 'if I felt uncomfortable in anyway he would respect that and try to make it better' But I was far too sleepy to portray any emotion. I was so tired, and I knew Jake was too. We didn't have enough patience or energy to drive any more and try to find somewhere else to sleep.

"That's fine" I mumbled sleepily. Jacob looked surprised but didn't say anything. He simply took the key, my bag, and his stolen clothes and followed the man from behind the counter to our room. With me dragging my feet slowly behind him.

* * *

a/n:_**u know that if you want an update u must review lotzzzzzz**_


	4. HOTEL

_JUST STAY STILL AND HOLD ME, IT WILL BE ALRIGHT..._

_Hotel_

"I'll sleep on the floor, so you will be a little more comfortable." Jacob said once we had entered our hotel room. He dropped my bag on the floor near the bed, and laid his clothes on the desk that was against the wall.

Jacob had said that he would sleep on the floor, again he was just trying to be respectful. Before, when us being really close had only meant something to Jacob, it was uncomfortable. But I didn't care all of the sudden, it was as if I was only comfortable when he was close. Anyway, it was a queen size bed. Jacob may be huge, but we would both still fit just fine.

" you don't have to sleep on the floor Jake" I moaned. I thought that he might argue about it a little and I was too sleepy.

" I know that your too tired to argue but are you sure?" he asked. I just sighed and lay down. I didn't have any energy left to answer him, I didn't even have the energy to take of my shoes. Good thing I didn't have to change my clothes, I was still in my pajamas. Getting the hint that I wasn't going to discuss sleeping on the floor, he silently lay down next to me.

I drifted off to sleep for the second time that night. I'm not sure what to consider the dream I had that night, was it a nightmare, a dream, or a mixture of both? I was back in the meadow, the same one that Edward had taken me to so long ago. But it was dark, not sunny, bright, and beautiful, like it had been when Edward and I had gone. I saw a figure emerge from the trees. I dreamed of the Gigantic, monstrous, russet wolf. It stared at me, as if to the very depths of my soul with the familiar black-brown eyes of Jacob black. It was then that I remembered the story he had told me, about Vampires and werewolves. Natural enemies, and suddenly Laurent running off made sense.

I bolted upright in bed, trying to hold in the scream that was threatening to escape past my lips. The sudden movement also awakened Jacob. I was sitting strait up, him still laying down but looking at me with curious eyes.

"What is it Bella?" he asked softly. And it surprised me that I was able to answer so calmly

"you're a werewolf aren't you Jake?" I asked just as softly as he had spoken to me. I looked over at him and he was nodding silently. I was in bed with a werewolf, ok so that sounds a little wrong, but it was true.

"Are you afraid?" he asked. He sounded frightened, like he didn't want me to be afraid of him. But I wasn't sure if I was or not. After all I used to hang out with vampires right?

"Should I be?" I replied, smoothly.

"Well yes and no" he said, confusing me. He must have noticed the confused look on my face because he went on explaining.

" your safe with me, in no danger of me losing control, it comes natural to me, and I promise not to hurt you, but on the other hand any normal person would be afraid." he explained. Since when was I normal anyway?

" I'm not going to lie to you Bella" he continued "werewolves are not completely harmless, but we do our best to protect people" that comment confused me, even more. How was killing people protecting them? All the disappearances in the woods, were they not the cause of it?

"what about all the people disappearing in the woods?" I asked.

"Bella, we call ourselves _protectors_ for a reason, we didn't do that, vampires did. The whole reason we exist is because they do"

"oh" I sighed, relieved.

Then there was no real reason to be afraid. He was a werewolf after all, but, he was one of the good guys, he was on the side of the humans, protecting us. And for the second time that night, I couldn't stop myself from hugging him. He was lying on his back, with me on his chest, wrapped in his arms, _protected_. and that's how we both fell asleep.

(INSERT FANCY PAGE BREAK)

The next morning, I woke up with Jakes arms still wrapped around me. I thought about it for a moment. Not sure about how it made me feel. I concluded that I very much enjoyed waking up next to Jacob. His touch was soft and surprisingly, it felt nice, and warm, oddly warm. Maybe he really had been sick that day, I thought, but I figured it was more likely that it must be a werewolf thing, like how vampires are cold, but I didn't know for sure. They are opposites right? Like most enemies, yen and yang, they balance out. I would ask Jake about it later.

But for right now, I would just relax, and enjoy being close to him. Although I knew I shouldn't get this close. So attached. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't control myself. He was too important to me. How could I give him up? I knew that it would be nearly impossible now, but I would behave and deny my feelings until the time was right to let them all out.

I could feel every inch of him, fitting perfectly with every inch of me. His tan skin soft against my own. I could feel his heartbeat, slow and steady, and I realized that, oddly enough, it matched my own. What did that mean, if anything at all? And I could feel his soft breathing ticking the back of my neck. I knew that we were way too close, but for some odd reason, being this close to Jacob didn't bother me as much as it had before. And for the millionth time I lied to myself about why that was. I knew why, I just wasn't ready to admit it. It was too confusing. I decided that I would get up before being this close made me anymore confused.

I slid out of his arms slowly, I didn't want to wake him, he was so tired and I knew it. I'd feel bad if I woke him up, I almost didn't get up because I was afraid to wake him, but being that close to him, was sending strange feelings through me, half confusing and half pleasurable. so I had to get up.

I looked over at the clock, it was already five in the afternoon. I had thought it was the morning. We had slept for way to long. But I didn't care. For the first time, in a long time, I felt well rested. In addition to feeling well rested however I also felt nasty, I needed to shower, and I knew it. I was all sweaty from being so close to Jacob and his oddly high body temperature. Not that I didn't like the warmth, it was very nice, but I needed to shower.

I grabbed my duffle bag, from the floor where Jacob had left it, and walked slowly to the bathroom. I walked in and turned on the light, afraid of what I would see. Thank goodness that bathroom was clean. _Spotless clean too_. I was glad that it wasn't like the small hotels in movies; dirty and crawling with cockroaches and God knows what else. I don't know what I would have done, but it didn't matter because it was clean.

I turned the hot water all the way up, and stepped in. The heat reminded me of Jacob, but not nearly as comforting. But I tried not to think about Jacob, and running away. Or the new feelings I had towards him. That I was trying very, very hard to suppress and deny. but as hard as I tried, it never worked.

I felt like telling him. Waking him up and confessing everything. I'd let him know that I really did love him. That I wasn't settling, and as broken as I was, I could be repaired, if he would just bare with me. I knew I should explain about the voices and admit that I was crazy, but I decided I wouldn't. Because, in spite of it all, I knew he would still take me, voices and all. But not yet, I reminded myself, it wasn't the right time for either of us. In the middle of running away. But it was beginning to become to much, keeping it from him. Wouldn't he want to know?

I washed my hair with the little bit of shampoo I had left, but I had no conditioner, so my hair would have to be up in a ponytail or something today, it would be too frizzy without conditioner. Nearly unmanageable. And I was glad I had grabbed soap from my house, the soap that hotels provided, I doubted they really cleaned, at all.

After about half an hour, I finally got out of the shower. I was fresh and clean, Yay! I got dresses in the bathroom, simply in jeans and a t-shirt, and I brushed my hair up into a ponytail. But then I had the urge to braid it. I don't know why, I just felt like braiding my hair. It would be easier to manage that way anyway. It took me forever, but the finished product, kind of resembled Lora Croft's braid form the movie tomb raider. I liked it, I wondered if Jake would like it too.

I looked into the mirror. I had originally looked to check my hair again, make sure that it was nice for Jacob, but what I saw there surprised me, my eyes were not as dull as they had been before, they were brighter, a sign of happiness. Jacob had done that, and I briefly wondered if he had any idea how much he had helped me. Could he ever know, even if I tried to tell him, would he understand how much he meant to me? Not that he wasn't smart, he was very intelligent, but I think his help went too deep, he helped me in so many ways that I probably wouldn't even be able to explain it thoroughly. What ever, I doubt I even needed to explain. Jacob knew how important he was to me. And although I didn't want to admit it, I was falling in love with him.

* * *

REMEMBER OUR DEAL...NO REVIEWS NO UPDATES...PLZ AND THX!


	5. MAGIC

_**IF I FALL FOR YOU, PROMISE TO CATCH ME...**_

_The Perfect Evening_

I walked out of the bathroom, slowly. In case Jacob was still asleep. He deserved to sleep, with all that had happen. We had been through a lot. Especially Jacob with the whole 'turning into a werewolf' thing, I couldn't imagine how much stress he had been under. How frightening it must have been for him. He seemed terrified before, when we were fighting, and I didn't know what was going on. I hoped that he was doing better now. And if he wasn't I was going to make it my mission to make him happy, _always_. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too late. That he didn't finally realized how much I didn't deserve him.

Did that make me selfish? Wanting him although he was way to good for me? As damaged as I was. I decided that I would let him decide. And what ever he chose, I would respect it. Even if it hurt like hell. If I loved him, and he didn't want me, I would have to let him go. It hurt to think about that. So I concluded that I would just let nature take its course. I would see if fate brought Jake and I together or tore us apart. I just hoped it wasn't the second option. I knew I would have to let go, but could I? Could I live through that again? Well there was only one way to find out.

With a deep breath, I turned the corner, walking in the direction of the bed. But Jacob wasn't there. Where was he? I never realized how much it hurt to not know where he was. But looking around , I realized he was out on the rooms balcony. One that I hadn't known existed. It had been covered with a large green curtain, and I had figured it was just covering a window. But it was covering the sliding glass doors leading outside.

He was leaning slightly over the railing, and looking up at the moon. I didn't know that it was dark outside. The sun wasn't even setting when I had woken up and went into the bathroom. But I guess I stayed in there longer than I thought.

The moon was full, and that confused me a little. Shouldn't he be a wolf by now or something, but then I remembered that I had seen them all in daylight, that day in the meadow. And since when were all the legends true? Vampires were not allergic to garlic or crosses, and certainly didn't melt in the sunlight. So why should the werewolf 'full moon thing' be true?

I wasn't sure if he was so deep in thought, that he hadn't realized I was in the room and watching him, or if he just didn't care. But I was going to make my presence known either way. I walked out unto the balcony, and wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head lightly on his back.. He turned around so that he could hug me back, he crushed me to his chest and I realized how much I didn't want him to let go. I felt bonded to him, when we were this close. Apart, I felt as if I wasn't whole, missing essential pieces. Pieces I could only retrieve in Jacobs presence, when he held me like this.

I lay my head on his chest, and we just stayed there silently for awhile. Both of us wrapped up in our own thoughts. I was thinking about exactly how to tell him what I was feeling. I was wondering what the perfect way to start a conversation about that was. But luckily he beat me to it. That made it easier. It always seemed as if he was in sync with my thoughts.

" I know that you don't feel exactly the way I do, and I swear it doesn't bother me, I'm just happy we are together. I could even sing, but no one wants to hear that" he whispered, chucking softly.

It was now, or never. I knew it had to be done. It was the perfect moment. We were on a balcony, the moon shining bright above us, and a soft breeze blowing around us. And to top it all off I had Jacob, wrapped in my arms. What could get more perfect than that?

I couldn't form any other words but the ones that rushed out. I had meant to explain everything I had thought about the past few days. How I was in love with him, how he completed me, and how I knew I didn't deserve him but I was asking him to try anyway. But all that came out of my mouth was

"I need you" it wasn't any louder than the softest of whispers. But somehow he heard me. I looked up into his eyes, and I saw understanding. There was no need for an explanations tonight. He knew how I felt already, how? I may never know, but that wasn't important at the moment anyway.

Then just as soft as everything else, the whispers, his touch, the all together atmosphere of the moment, he kissed me. His gorgeous full lips fit with mine perfectly. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever felt. The warmth radiating between us was like magic. And I loved every minute of it. Can you tell me again why I had waited so long to kiss him? If I had known it would feel half as good as it did I would have done it a long time ago.

But as much as I was enjoying it, I had to clear one thing with him first. It had been eating away at me for, what felt like, ever! I pulled away. Although it took quite a bit of effort. I looked into his eyes, begging him to understand. He looked slightly hurt and confused.

"What is Bella?" he asked. Touching my face, gently. My face heated under the warmth of his palm, and I smiled softly.

"I just need you to promise me something before we continue" I told him, hesitantly. What if he refused? But I wouldn't think of that just yet. I would give him a chance to think it through.

"Anything" he said, determined. He didn't even know what I was going to ask of him. That was sweet though, and it comforted me to know that he was willing to do anything for me, to make me happy. And also that he trusted me enough that he would agree to terms that he had no idea about.

"You have to promise to stay with me, not to leave my side and love me forever. Naturally I'll promise the same thing in return. But I need to know that no matter what, we'll be together." I needed him. And he needed to understand exactly how much.

I was suddenly afraid that I would scare him off, with my sudden pledge of devotion. But to my surprise and satisfaction he answered

"I promise to always love you, and to stay by your side, forever. You don't even realize how incomplete I am without you. If you knew how deeply and how much I loved you, you wouldn't have doubted that there is no where I'd rather be, than with you." I could hear the sincerity in his voice and see the honesty in his eyes. He was right, how could I have doubted him. I should have given him more credit. I knew I could trust him. And I knew this was meant to be.

The rest of the night was amazing. We were both starved. So we ordered some food. Room service rocks! I hadn't known that being severed could be so fun. You call and order and they bring it right to you. So cool.

"We should have some candles, it would be kind of like perfect, don't you think?" Jacob had asked when the food came.

"Just being with you makes it perfect" the words slipped out before I could really think about them. But that didn't make them any less true. It was perfect being with Jake.

Someone once told me that all perfect moments have to come to an end. And I knew that was true. The moment had to end. Because time stops for no one. But the circumstances and people who made it perfect, you can hold onto forever. And that is exactly what I intended to do with Jake. Keep him forever.

After I had said that being with him made it perfect, he had this very pleased grin on his face. It wasn't bitter and mocking like the other one had been. It was the happy, satisfied grin, that _my_ Jacob wore. It pleased me, that he was back. And we were happy, and together. Yay for us.

We had decided that this would be our first official date. It was Jakes idea but I loved it. Although we were stuck in a hotel room, we both agreed that we could still have just as much fun as if we were outside. We had already completed the dinner portion of out date. With the room service we had ordered. So then we decided to buy a movie on paper view.

The first movie Jake had suggested, I agreed to. My thoughts were too much on the fact that Jacob was holding me to concentrate anyway. We were both lying down on the bed and watching what ever movie he had picked out. He held me around the waist, with my back to him, kissing me constantly or running his fingers through my hair. He had un-braided it and brushed it out for me, before we had started the movie. Every time he touched me, it was gentle, warm, and felt like magic, and I loved it. It dove me crazy! And I couldn't help but wonder, how good it would feel to make love to him. We loved each other. So I was going to assume we were both ready. But was it the right time, in the middle of running away? Well, I concluded, it was worth a try.

* * *

**_DID U LIKE IT?? WELL REVIEW AND TELL ME ABOUT IT..U KNO REVIEWS FOR UPDATES..THATS OUR DEAL! PLZ AND THX!!_**

**_oh, and dezi is the BEST..dont let her tell u dif. _**wolfgil101_ **thats her page..if u like my story u'll luv hers!!!**_


	6. BURN MY SOUL

_**LOOK INTO MY EYES AND WHISPER THAT YOU LOVE ME...**_

_Burn My Soul_

The sunlight woke me up, brightly shining through a small crack in the curtain. For the second time this week, I woke up in Jacobs strong arms. This time though, it didn't confuse me, I had sorted through my feelings, and admitted them to myself, and to Jacob, sort of. I knew where I stood with him. I knew that we were together and nothing was going to come between us. We were definitely in love, we were a part of each other, and we fit together perfectly.

I could barely breath without him. I wondered if it was like that for him too. He was my air, my sun. But what was I to him? Well as much as I wanted to know, it didn't matter much because I knew how much he loved me. What ever he considered me, I knew it was pretty close to being '_his everything_' and I smiled at the thought. This was going to work, I could feel it. We were meant to be, fate had brought us together.

We would go far away and maybe never come back or maybe we would. No one knew, but us, that was the beauty of it. We had our own little secret adventure, of love. He would surely laugh at me if I said that to him, but it was true. I knew why I had decided to run away with him, because I loved him. And that was the same reason he came with me. Didn't that make it an adventure of love? Yea it did! Or at least I thought so. Maybe he would too, but I doubted I would ever tell him about my little nick name for our trip. It would just be something else for him to use to tease the hell out of me.

It was early in the morning when I woke up. We wouldn't sleep nearly as late as we had the previous day, we had slept most of the day away. We couldn't do that again. It was time to move Jake had said. We would leave today. Although we still had no idea where we were going. That made it even more exiting, the unknown. Just knowing that we had each other and that was all we needed.

Running away this time, was a lot more fun. The last time I had run away, afraid and worried the entire time. Not to mention I almost got killed, and eaten. Luckily, Edward and them had made it in time to save me. It still hurt a little to think about him. But not nearly as much as it had before. I had someone else to fill that hole, and it was healing. Slowly but surely. I just needed a little time, something that I knew Jacob had no problem giving me.

And I couldn't have been more grateful that Jacob was as patient with me as he was. He didn't demand anything of me, never asked for more than I was willing to give. He always waited until I was ready for something to happen. And he never would do something that made me uncomfortable. He was always trying to make me happy. That was one of the things I loved most about him. How he always looked out for me.

Jacob woke up shortly after I did. He blushed a little, I figured he was thinking of last night. He smiled softly and murmured a soft

"good money Bella." I answered with a soft kiss to his lips. Usually I wasn't that forward but, the burning sensation during and after kissing him was pure bliss. I couldn't get enough of the feeling, his lips on mine was indescribable.

He sat strait up, allowing the sheet to fall slowly of his chest, landing on his lap, only covering has waist and legs. With his hair, that was growing back, in spiky disarray, and his chest bare, he looked like a work of art, _so beautiful_. Looking at his bare chest brought last nights events back to me. Dinner and a movie, the best first date ever! Although it took place in a hotel room, but it was original, and that made it even more special. And we had indeed made love _a lot, _I would nolonger be able to say I wasn't a first date kind of girl, but I didn't mind because it was Jacob. It was everything I thought it would be and more. I couldn't have asked anything more of him, I was completely satisfied. And filled with happiness. And considering that he wore a huge smile afterward, so was he. And I was happy to know that I had pleased him.

Jacob brought out traits in my personality that had been hidden before. I was more care-free and fun. Less shy even. It hadn't bothered me at all, that we woke up clothes-less. Usually, my cheeks would have burned for hours, I would have been embarrassed for the rest of my life, but I felt an oddly comfortable feeling towards Jacob, I think it had a lot to do with our strong connection. I didn't think I'd ever admit it to him, but seeing Jake wrapped in only a sheet turned me on immensely. Woo hoo!

We knew we had to get up and get ready to go. We both needed to shower, so we could then check out and leave. I suggested, innocently, that so we could leave sooner and save the hotel an expense, such as a high water bill, that we should just shower together. That so wasn't me. But I couldn't help it. Jacob twisted my brain too much, so I couldn't help but tease him slightly and forget all about my shyness. He eagerly agreed, although I could see the surprise clearly written across his face. I'm not going to tell you what happen next because I think that you have a pretty good idea. But I will tell you that what happened that morning and the night before had connected us in a new way. I was completely certain, there was no breaking our bond.

We left the Hotel in the afternoon. Jacob paid the entire bill. I insisted that he let me pay for some. But he refused and said he had way more than enough. Since when did Jacob have all this money? As far as I knew, I was the only one that had a job. Where did it all come from. I wouldn't ask him yet, but I would ask him later, definitely.

We were back on the road. Jacob insisted that I let him drive, because he had a plan. I didn't know where we were going, but I trusted him and knew that, he would know where to go, and what was best.

He didn't act his age at all. It always seemed like he was way older. Playful but mature, level headed. I liked that about him too. Actually I think that I liked every single thing about him. How could I not. He was certainly perfect. Well to me anyway. Or rather, was he perfect for me. It was like we were designed to be together. Kind of strange, but it seemed oddly true.

We talked to pass the time. We would most likely have listened to music as well, but I had ripped out the stereo months ago. So we talked, and it was pleasant. We talked about absolutely nothing in particular. Weather, sports, life. How we both felt about certain things. Favorite colors ,books, movies, ice cream flavors, things like that.

I fell asleep some time during the day. When I woke back up, it was dark outside. I told Jacob, that I would take the wheel, but he said no because then he would have to tell me where he planned to go. 'It's a surprise' was what he told me, when I had begged him to tell me where we were going. As a reply, I punched him playfully in the arm. And we both laughed.

A few hours later I was surprised he hadn't pulled over. I asked him if he was tired, to which his reply was

"I don't need to sleep as often anymore" he gave me a knowing glance. And I realized it was another werewolf trait.

"What's it like, are you miserable?" I whispered hesitantly. I wasn't sure if it was a sore subject or not, and if he was willing to share his feelings on it. I wanted to help, and I wasn't sure if he'd be willing to let me in.

"no, im not miserable, not now that you know the truth. I mean sometimes its hard. I feel like I'm out of control and like I've lost myself, because the werewolf thing came more natural to me than it did to the others. And I wonder if that somehow, makes me less human. And Sometimes I feel like a monster, and I want to push you away, to keep you safe. That hurts the most, the thought of losing you, because of what I've become."

He looked and sounded so hurt. It had caused him pain, and I wanted so badly to take it all away. Seeing Jacob hurt well, that hurt me too. It almost _burned my soul_. I had to let him know, how much he meant. It was time to explain.

"Jake, I love you ok?!" he looked surprised. He grinned but he was speechless. " you mean more to me than anyone else, and wolf or not, you are the furthest thing I ever did see from a monster. You mustn't think that. And you haven't lost yourself. Your still the Jake I fell in love with. _Nothing_ can change that" I finished. I hoped he would understand how serious I was about this.

"Thank you Bells" he whispered sweetly. "and you already know I love you too" he smiled. I smiled too. It felt oh-so- good to hear those words from Jake. I wondered if he liked it when I said it too. I hadn't really ever said it before a moment ago. That was the first time I had told him that I loved him, but I silently vowed that I would say it a lot more often, so he would never doubt my feelings.

He leaned over and he kissed the top of my head, brought his arm around my waist, and pulled me closer to him. I loved when we were close like this. I placed my head in the crook of his neck, and kissed him softly. I really hoped that I wouldn't distract him too much form driving. But I had gone long enough without touching him, and I couldn't take it anymore.

My closeness didn't seem to bother him at all. He was an excellent driver, even one-handed, because he was still holding me. And I'm glad he was willing to drive, because I would rather lay on him, like I was doing. I fell asleep again, this time close to my lover. And I couldn't ask for more. It was, yet again, the most perfect moment ever. And I knew that together Jake and I would have many more.

* * *

**_YOU ALREADY KNOW...NO REVIEW NO UPDATES RIGHT? K THX BYE_**


	7. PROPOSAL

_**JUST SAY YES TO ME...**_

_Proposal_

The following day, we had to stop at another hotel. This one was nicer than the last, better looking, but the last one had memories, if you know what I mean. So I couldn't tell which one I liked better. That was until I walked into the bathroom and there was a really nice hot tub in it. Yay!

It kind of felt like Jake and I were on our honey moon, and making love quite often was just something that came natural. So, of course, I pictured how much fun Jake and I could have with it. I usually never really thought about sex, I didn't feel any need for it, but Jake brought out that side of me as well.

We were somewhere in Virginia, but Jake had said that this was far from our final stop, and if we left early the day after tomorrow, we would get there that same night. I was excited because I so desperately wanted to know where we were going. He refused to tell me. But promised that he had it all figured out, and told me that I shouldn't worry about a thing. I knew he would take good care of me, so I listened. Although it was eating away at me, I didn't ask anymore.

He said that we should spend the day shopping, and I agreed, only because I thought he meant together. I hated shopping, and shopping alone would be worse, mainly because I would miss him.

"There are a few things I need to pick up, be patient, we'll be together again soon. And I won't be far. I promise." that's how he responded when I asked why we couldn't spend the day together. I could only pout sadly as he kissed me on the lips and walked out of the door.

Watching his retreating form I suddenly felt lonely. I knew he was only walking out of the door, to go shopping, but it felt like he was walking out of my life. I knew it wasn't healthy to be so attached, that I can't spend a few hours without him. I figured it was because this was new, and I wanted to stay near him because that was the only way I felt whole. But it would be ok, I told myself. I trusted him enough that I didn't cry or hyperventilate. I knew he'd return.

I decided that I would preoccupy myself with shopping too. And I would pick up a little sexy something to wear for him. So he would think twice about leaving me again. Hahaha. I was only half serious though, about him thinking twice before he left me. I wasn't worried because I knew he loved me enough to come back. But about the 'sexy something' I really was serious about that.

He left the truck in the hotel parking lot and I wasn't sure if he walked to where ever he was going or if he called a cab. I would have let him have the truck and taken a cab, but I knew that he wouldn't have let me.

I went to the mall, stopping on the way to get gas. I decided that in addition to 'something sexy' I would also pick him up something nice. It seemed like he never wore shirts anymore. Not that I was complaining, but that left pants and shoes. And luckily I found a bunch of nice shorts that I thought he would like, and they were on sale too. I paid for them and had them wrapped in a gift box. He would like them, I was sure. But I knew he wouldn't like them as much as my next gift. The one that would be coming from Victoria Secret.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I went back to the hotel room, to find all of the lights off. I flipped the switch on the wall, but the lamp didn't turn on. I had guessed that the light bulb had blown.

"Jake?" I called. I wondered if he had gotten back yet. I had tried to take as long as possible shopping, so he wouldn't be able to know how anxious I was to get back and see him. I had gone into almost every store, just to waste time. I browsed through them all, as if I was looking for a certain item that I never found. I even went to the music store, to listen to the headphones that were plugged into the wall, promoting a new C.D. I tried extremely hard to waste time, and I thought that I did a pretty good job too, considering it was dark outside by the time I got back to our room.

I walked around the corner, to where the bedroom was. I was going to put on my new 'something sexy' and surprise him when he did arrive. But I was the one surprised instead. Jacob had stolen my idea, only he did it a lot better. There were candles everywhere, and a path of rose petals leading to the bed, where Jacob was posing, in a pair of silk boxers. I wasn't expecting this, it was so unlike him. But I loved it.

"Hello, Isabella" he whispered seductively, walking over to me. I couldn't even answer him. I was still shocked. I smiled and kissed him when he finally reached me.

"What's all this?" I asked breathless, he had kissed me hard, and way longer than usual.

"I wanted to do something special for you, I thought you'd like it" he answered.

"I love it, Jake."

I decided that I wouldn't tell him just yet, that I was going to do the same thing. He would find out when I returned with my new 'gift' also known as 'something sexy.'

"Well two can play at that game" I said, walking to the bathroom to change.

I knew that he was confused. But he didn't question me, he waited patiently to find out. He was way more patient than me, I would have asked what he meant by that, if the tables had been turned. I walked back out of the bathroom, he was lying on the bed, awaiting my return. He saw me, and I could clearly see the surprise and satisfaction written clearly across his face.

"I wanted to do something special for you, I thought you'd like it" I mimicked his words from a moment ago. He smiled at my attempt at humor. And mimicked me too

" I love it, Bella" he whispered. Seductively, like when I had first walked in.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I was wrapped up in Jakes arms, still trying to catch my breath. We sat in silence, but it wasn't awkward, it was comfortable. Like everything was with Jacob. My head was on his bare chest, it was nice and warm, and I wanted to stay there for eternity. I listed to his soft breathing, and I could feel his heart beat, it hadn't slowed back down yet, neither had mine.

We stayed there, in silence for a while. Enjoying being in each others arms. After a while, Jacob broke the silence.

"Bella, I have something to tell you" he sounded nervous and scared, almost. I was afraid that he was going to tell me that Sam and the others had found us, or worse, that he was leaving me. I stopped breath and I tensed, he felt it.

"relax Bella, it isn't anything bad" he smiled.

I relaxed, I could tell that he wasn't lying and that his smile was genuine. So why was he so serious and scared?

" I didn't just buy candles and roses when I went into town today. I also got you this" he said softly, slipping a ring on my finger. I looked down at it, it was gorgeous. Platinum, with 5 diamonds. And I noticed he had a simple platinum band on his finger as well. Was this an engagement or what? I didn't quite understand, what this ring symbolized. So I just I looked at him questionably.

"Will you marry me bella?" he asked slowly. It was the sweetest thing that had ever happened to me and I couldn't stop the tears that escaped, and rolled down my cheeks. How perfect was this boy. I nodded, smiling, and he began to kiss away all my tears. I kissed him softly on his lips and whispered

"there is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with."

* * *

_YOU KNOW HOW IT IS...REVIEW LOTz FOR UPDATES...U WANT THIS UPDATE..THE NEXT CHAP GETS INTERESTING..THERE IS SOME DOUBTING PEOPLES LOVE INVOLVED AND MAYBE A BREAKUP? U WANNA KNO? THENREVIEW!!!! HAHAHA. K THX BYE_


	8. LOVING DOUBTS

_**WITHOUT YOU THE IS NO REASON FOR MY HEART TO KEEP BEATING...**_

_Loving Doubts_

I looked up at the ceiling, sighing, and tried to will my limbs to move. I wanted to get up, and do _something._ Anything, to escape my own thoughts. I didn't like where they were heading. They had started out so positive, the most happy thoughts imaginable, and turned so very negative. I knew eventually I would have to face them, but so soon? I wasn't ready, my plan to just 'not think' about things wasn't working anymore.

It all started when I was replaying last nights events in my head. It was the perfect evening. Candles, roses, making love, _and_ a proposal. One that I had eagerly accepted. But when I had replayed that particular moment, my thoughts took a turn for the worst. I was thinking about the words I had spoken to Jacob 'there is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with' and I began to wonder how much truth was actually behind it.

Here I was, alone with my horrible thoughts, that I couldn't escape. Jacob had gone out, he said that he was going to go for a run, and get something for us to eat for breakfast. I had told him that I loved him and would be awaiting his return. It had been about half an hour since then, and I wished he would return. He was such a good way to distract myself from more depressing thoughts of heartbreak.

And then I thought about that. How much I really loved him. Was it true love or was I just using him as a distraction? That certainly wasn't my intention but was that what I was doing? Was that all he was to me?

I did love Jacob, very much. But was I really_ in love _with him, like I had originally thought? Maybe that wasn't the issue at all. If I loved him as much as I thought I did, maybe the issue really was, did I love him as much as _Edward._ I cringed thinking his name, it opened a door that I had worked very hard to close. Memories flooded in, the happy times, and the bad times, which mainly consisted of when he left. The months I had spent, _'Zombified.' _Maybe my real problem was that I wasn't sure if I had lied or not, about the whole 'there is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with' was it bothering because I wasn't sure if I would have rather spent my life with Edward and not Jacob. I had to think about that for a while. I'm not sure how long I lay there, thinking. But when I had really thought about it, I was angry at myself for even thinking about doubting Jacob. He was my true love, I was sure of it.

But I had to make sure, asking myself one more time, 'would I rather be with Edward?' No! I yelled at myself. There had been a time when that was definitely true. When the thought of having Jacob as a companion hadn't even crossed my mind. But that was so very long ago. It was like I was a new person, or at least trying to be. Edward, even though I still loved him, was part of my past. And Jacob, well, he was my entire future. There was no way I could live without him. I had said the same thing about Edward, and at the time I hadn't realized there was a different scenario that I hadn't thought of. And thinking about it now, I concluded that the truth was, I could live without Edward, as long as I had Jacob.

That realization hit me hard. It felt like someone had knocked the breath out of me, I had to take some deep breaths to regulate my breathing. I realized that it couldn't have been true love, because Edward had never really loved me. Yes, I loved him, but he didn't return it like he had said. And I wondered why he had even bothered to tell me all of the things he had. Was it fun for him, toying with the emotions of defenseless little humans, as he probably saw them? I thought about how many people he had done that to. It was sick! But, I was glad it was over. And that his charade hadn't continued any longer than it had.

I was also glad I had Jacob. Sweet, loving, kind, patient Jacob. Jacob who, I couldn't doubt my love for. And suddenly, very randomly, I thought about how little he had actually asked of me, he wanted me to spend the rest of my life with him, vowing to always love him. If I had stayed with Edward, I would've had to give up, my friends at school, Charlie, Renee, and most importantly _Jacob, _although we hadn't been nearly as close back then. Not to mention my heartbeat, possibly my soul, and good ol' chocolate cake! Ok I was kidding about the cake but the rest of it, required great sacrifices.

And I noticed that for the very first time, it stung much more, with the thought of losing Jacob, than it had when I actually lost Edward. Yea, I was sure now, I wanted it to be Jacob. _Always_. Edward, who I did love in the past, had nothing to do with the present day, or with my future. He had played with my heart, and then left. He had never loved me, so why should I hold on to him now? I shouldn't, was the answer. But I knew letting him go would be easier said than done. It would take a great deal of effort, and I would need Jacobs help. Which, I knew for a fact, he was willing to give.

After I really realized how much Jacob meant to me, I was alright. I mean, I knew that I loved him, and was falling for him, fast. And I knew that it hurt me when I lost him, but I never allowed myself to feel how much. I had, instinctively gone numb, when he had left me. So It didn't hurt as much. But I now knew that it actually hurt a lot more than when Edward had left. It had taken me a while to warm up to numbing myself, at least completely, so I figured it had hurt more, which, I thought, meant I loved him more. But that wasn't true, because if I had allowed myself to feel the pain of Jacob's abandonment, I would have known that it hurt more that time.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

When Jacob finally did return to the hotel room, he didn't understand why I was so excited that I ran and jumped into his arms, without tripping thank you very much. I kissed him everywhere, his lips, face, neck. And it felt so good to have his arms around me again, that I really didn't want him to let go,_ ever_. But eventually I let him loose.

"What's gotten into you? Not that I'm complaining, but where did all this enthusiasm come from?" he asked, smiling. I decided that I would spare him the gory details of my morning thoughts. He didn't need to know that I was debating over how much I actually did love him. So I stuck as close to the truth as I could.

" I realized today, with you gone, how much I miss you when your away. And I thought that I had gone long enough without my lips coming in contact with your skin." I answered, and winked playfully at him. He grinned and kissed me softly on the lips whispering

"my lips missed your skin too" and I laughed at him, slightly. he frowned, faking, sadness.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked playing along. He nodded slowly, giving me the cutest face in the world, like a little sad puppy. I smiled, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Would a kiss make it all better?" I teased. And he nodded again, with the same sad look. So I kissed him lips, softly. And he smiled, as did I. Yea, I was certain, there was no way I could live without this.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

Ok, since Jacob had told me that this was our last stop, until we reached our final destination, I decided that we would make the night fun. We found a nice little quiet restaurant. It was a good place for quiet conversation. Which we did have. We talked about absolutely nothing, just like that night in the car. But Jacob had gotten real serious all of the sudden. And the look in his eyes intrigued but scared me. I was curious to know what it was that he was thinking, but I was afraid that the always playful Jacob had become so serious, so suddenly.

"Take a walk with me?" he asked.

I nodded, following him out of the door to the restaurant. Again, he had picked up the entire bill, and I wondered where he had gotten all of this money from. We walked in silence through the parking lot, passing my truck on the way. I was extremely nervous, considering how the last walk I had taken with a boyfriend had ended badly, but I reminded myself that this was Jake, and he wouldn't do that to me. At least, I _hoped_ he wouldn't. I mean, he has asked me to marry him and everything? What could have changed from last night? We were walking along the sidewalk, our hands intertwined, which was a good sign, I reasoned. If he was going to break up with me, he wouldn't really be touching me and leading me on would he?

I was grateful that he finally came to a stop, although it was sudden. He turned to face me, his eyes bore deep into mine. I suddenly felt nervous, and hadn't known that tears were spilling over and rolling down my cheeks, until Jacob wiped them away gently with his thumbs. He continued to hold my face in his hands, looking at me curiously.

"Bella, why are you crying?" he asked, concerned.

"Is there a reason that I shouldn't?" I countered.

"Is there a reason that you should?" he asked instead of answering my question. I knew that this could go on all night, answering questions with questions. So I decided that I would just tell him.

"Well, the last time a boyfriend of mine, asked to go for a walk..." I trailed off. He realized what I was saying, not forcing me to continue, thank goodness. But what he said next, well, that broke my heart in two.

"That is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about" he whispered.

* * *

**_GUESS WHAT I DID...I ADDED PICS OF ALL MY CHARACTERS AND STUFF LIKE THAT ON MY PROFILE..GO LOOK!! HAHAHA_**

**_OK SO NOW U LIKE HAVE 2 REVIEW BECAUSE YOU WANNA KNO WHAT HAPPENS RIGHT??? REMEMBER REVIEWS EQUAL UPDATES!!! PLEASE AND THANKS_**


	9. TURN OF EVENTS

_**DONT EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, IT HURTS TO MUCH TO THINK Ive LOST YOU...**_

_Turn Of Events_

I automatically tensed. He wanted to break up with me?

"You...don't...want me?" I repeated the exact same words that I had said to Edward, so very long ago. It hurt, a lot. And unlike the last time, I let myself feel the pain, and I felt like I would pass out from the immense amount of it that I was under.

But it didn't last very long because as soon as the words left my mouth Jacob replied with a roaring

"OF COURSE I WANT YOU BELLA!" I cringed at the volume of his voice, and he softened his tone. He looked deep into my eyes, trying to understand I guessed, what could have driven me to such a conclusion.

"how could you think that Bella?" he sounded so hurt, so venerable. And I felt bad for doubting him. But with the way the nights events had gone, how could I not jump to the conclusion that he didn't want me.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

And this time I was the one wiping away his tears, or rather tear. His eyes were watering but only one had spilled over. And I felt horrible, knowing that I had hurt him, by doubting his love. But I wasn't sure if they were tears or sadness, frustration, or both. He held me close, whispering into my ear that he was so very sorry that he had scared me, and that he loved me so very much. I whispered back how I was sorry for jumping to conclusions and not trusting him. When he sighed, looking out into the distance for a moment, and then down at me, I knew that I had been forgiven.

"What I wanted to talk to you about Bella, is, well, its actually more of a question than anything else, but it something that I, um, need to know" he stammered. He was nervous, I could tell. But I couldn't comprehend why. Was it his fear that I would be angry, or not love him anymore, or what? I couldn't take it, the suspense was killing me.

"Just ask me Jake" I looked up at him, so he would see that I wasn't angry with him

"it's just that I don't want to upset you" he said. I was already upset, considering the way our night had gone.

"It's ok, just ask me"

"I just wanted to make sure that you really did love me, and that it wasn't just a way to get back at _him_" he snarled at the last word, the werewolf in him coming out, not literally but he did sound kind of like an angry animal. Oh, I finally understood, it wasn't breaking up he wanted to talk about, it was about one breakup in particular, guess which one.

I had to admit, I hadn't been expecting that one, his question had taken me off guard. But it was strange, I had been thinking about the same thing earlier. But I had come to a conclusion, and it was that I really did love him.

"I really do love you Jake" I said. And I figured it was now that I should tell him everything. After all secrets were not good for relationships right?

"Well, at first, it was about getting back at him. I had promised not to do anything reckless or stupid. But I had found the bikes and thought it would be a perfect way to break that promise, risking my life and all that good stuff. After all, he had broken his, he had promised to stay with me, and he hadn't kept it right? So why should I keep mine?"

I asked but I really wasn't expecting an answer

"but then we started hanging out, and you had helped me so much. And I knew that I couldn't let you go, because it didn't hurt so much when you were around. But then you ditched me-" he cringed "- and I realized just how much you meant. Or at least I thought I did. I had some difficulty sorting through my feelings for awhile. And I was trying to determine if you were just a distraction from the pain or if I really did love you. And I realized that I loved you, and that I would rather be with you, and I came to terms with the fact he never did love me, and him and I were not right for each other, and I know now that this was meant to be. I love you Jake, so very much. Please never doubt that." I finished. I was on the verge of tears, but I told myself I would not cry. Not again anyway.

He almost seemed surprised that I had told him all of that, or maybe that I had told him the truth. It took him a few seconds to compose himself, and I watched his face the entire time. It didn't show any other emotion but surprise, and guilt? He looked guilty but why?

"There is something that I have to tell you too, not nearly as big, but I think you deserve to know. I don't like keeping secrets. I had actually come to your house that night, to ask you to run away with me. But then you suggested the very same thing. I know you have been wondering where I got all of this money from, I had emptied my bank account, in case you had agreed to run with me" he smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile, it was the kind of smile that said 'I'm sorry please don't be mad at me.' And I knew I couldn't stay mad, even though I kind of wanted to.

Jake had come to my house that night to suggest the very same thing? Great minds think alike huh? But one thing didn't add up.

"Then why did it take you so long to answer me when I asked?" that was my question to which his answer was

"I couldn't make it look like I had planned it out, and like that was what I came to your house for. Because I knew that you were trying to protect me, save me. And I didn't want you to think that you had failed." That made me smile. He was thinking of me, like always.

I knew that we should get back to the hotel. I didn't know where we were going but I knew that it was a long trip. Jake had told me that much. And I knew that he had a lot of driving ahead of him, and I wanted him to rest, at least. Considering he wouldn't let me drive.

But as we walked back to the truck, I had to clear one thing with him

"Jake" I called to him.

He looked at me, acknowledging that he had heard me call his name

"let's promise not to doubt each other ever again. It just led to stressing us out, and worrying each other half to death" I said smiling

"deal" he agreed smiling back, leaning down, and sealing our deal with a kiss.

* * *

ok i kno that it is a short chap. but ill make the next chap. longer if u review a whole bunch of times! hahaha, reviews make me happy and updates make u happy..so lets please each other (sounded kinda wrong) but u kno what i meant..lol..k thx bye!!!


	10. EQUALITY

**_IM WILLIN' TO DO WHAT EVER MAKES YOU HAPPY..._**

_Equality_

"Bella..." I heard my name being murmured softly in my ear. I moaned and rolled over. I didn't want to be woken up, I was so very tired. Yesterdays events had put me under a little bit of emotional stress. I was alright, but it took me awhile to get to sleep, and even then I tossed and turned all night. So here I was, extremely tired and, being woken up by Jacob, he was calling my name and kissing me softly. Any other time, I would have loved to be kissed awake, how cute was that!, but not right now, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep.

I looked over at the clock, it was only 6am! I knew he wanted to get an early start, so we could get to our final destination, but I was really, really tired.

"Bella, sweetheart, we need to leave, you can sleep in the truck" he offered, trying to get me out of bed. I knew that his pleading was for my benefit, because if he wanted me up that badly, he could just_ pick_ me up. I thought about how much I really didn't want to be carried, and that was enough to get me out of bed. I stood up slowly, my eyes had to adjust to the light radiating form the lamp, the sun had not risen completely and it would have still been dark in the hotel room.

We had packed up our clothes last night, and Jacob, on his shopping trip, had bought us new suitcases, they were small, and absolutely perfect for the little amount of clothing we had. While Jacob took our bags to the truck, I paid the hotel bill, knowing that when Jacob came back to pay it, he would be angry that I had done it. He didn't yell or anything, he only frowned slightly and asked

"why wouldn't you just let me pay it?" he didn't sound angry, he just sounded worn-out. And I almost felt bad for stressing him out further, but I needed him to know that he wasn't the only person in this relationship.

"Because Jacob, relationships need to have some equality." I said simply. And it reminded me about the argument I had with Edward in the hospital after my 'accident' and I frowned a little. Thinking that maybe he hadn't changed me because the idea of having me around forever made him sick. But then why did he even bother saving me? Why not just let James kill me? Maybe because he hadn't had all of his fun with the 'human.' I didn't want to think about it any longer, it was upsetting me, it didn't matter much anymore why he had toyed with my heart, because although it had hurt, and still did a little, I had Jacob to make it all better.

"I know, and your absolutely right, im sorry" he replied. That had surprised me. I thought that he was going to be difficult. He had even apologized. At that moment I understood clearly how different Jacob and Edward really were. Edward always had to be in control, but Jacob understood fairness, and the idea of partnership. I liked this so much better.

"Thanks Jake" I said smiling, taking his hand in my own, and leading him outside toward the truck. I had noticed on my way out, that the woman behind the counter was smiling at us. And I wondered how mushy we looked to people. But I didn't care. I loved being romantic with Jacob.

We were on the road again, talking about nothing really important for a while. When the conversation suddenly turned serious, again. All Jakes doing, of course. I learned my lesson from the previous night. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, I would let him say what he had to say and not over react.

"Bella, not as complicating as last nights question, but I have something else to ask you" I nodded to him and he took that as his sign to continue.

"I just want to know when you want to get married" automatically, I looked down at the ring. 'When did I want to get married?' I wasn't really sure. I hadn't thought all that much about it. Not that I had any aversion to marrying Jacob, because nothing would make me happier. It was just that I had been so preoccupied with everything else.

Before, if someone had asked me that, my answer would have been _never_. I mean, I didn't want to be like other people, who get married right away, and then break up. But what Jacob and I shared was something deeper than most people could even comprehend, I was certain. So we would be ok. I had a feeling that our love was strong enough to last.

But what if it wasn't, I thought. Well there was no real way to tell, other than basing my decision on how I felt about Jacob. I knew that I couldn't let go of him. And I did want to have such a powerful claim on such a wonderful man. I would be Mrs. Jacob Black, Bella black. That sounded so right together. I knew he was still waiting for an answer, if I took too long he'd think I was doubting him, or that I didn't want to marry him.

"Soon, but not too soon" I said. " I want to wait until we are settled and safe. And then we can get married, and maybe even invite our friends and families." The only friend that I actually thought about inviting was Angela, but I'm sure Jacob would want Quil, at least, there. If Embry couldn't come too. But maybe by then, it would be ok, and we would be able to go back to forks.

He smiled. Seeming content with my answer. And there was nothing more to say at that moment. Jacob took my hand in his and whispered a soft 'I love you' I returned it with a kiss to his cheek. I would have loved to kiss his beautiful full lips but he was driving and I didn't want him to crash or anything. I wasn't sure if either of us could live through that. He was a werewolf, but what did that truly mean? We hadn't really gotten a chance to talk about it. I didn't know much about it, other than they protect people, and the simple fact that I didn't care what he was. I'd ask later, I told myself silently not to forget.

I was still tired, I hadn't gone back to sleep in the car like I thought I would have. Jacob had started a conversation and I couldn't not talk to him. But now that it was silent again, I felt like my eyelids were way too heavy, and I closed them drifting off to sleep, with Jacobs warm hand in mine. And I had the most wonderful dream. It started out, on the cliff near the reservation. The one Jacob and I had passed on our way to ride our newly fixed bikes. But the entire group of boys was there, including Sam. But he didn't look evil, vicious, or mocking. He was smiling at me, no at Jacob and I. And I was in a wedding gown, looking into Jacobs blackish brown, loving eyes. It was absolutely gorgeous, and I wondered if getting married on that cliff was possible. It would be an excellent place to get married, over looking the water, possibly a sunset?

I woke up a short time after that. It was in the afternoon and Jacob was still driving. He saw me sit up and look at him. He turned to me, smiling

"are you hungry? we can stop and get some food." I hadn't thought about being hungry, but now that he had mentioned it, I was.

"Sure Jake" I answered, still kind of sleepy.

"So, what did you dream about?" Jacob asked. Smirking. He gave me a knowing glance, as if he already knew what I had dreamed. And I felt like I was missing out on a joke. And then it donned on me, I had been talking in my sleep and he had heard it all.

"What did I say?" I asked, not sure if I should be embarrassed or not.

"Well, you kept saying 'Jake love me forever' and 'I do, I do'" he answered grinning. I smiled too, no I shouldn't be embarrassed, I was happy that I was dreaming of our wedding. Well more accurately, I was happy we were having a wedding, this couldn't get any more perfect. Surprisingly, I was looking forward to it. I just hoped it wouldn't ruin everything we had. My biggest fear was that once we were married, he would realize what a huge mistake he made, and leave me. But I reminded myself that this was Jacob, and he wouldn't do that to me, I had doubted his love enough for a lifetime, huh? Yeah I did!

We rode in silence. Jacob was concentrating on driving, trying to find a restaurant, and I was wrapped up in my own thoughts. Mostly the wedding, and I wondered what our final destination would be. I hadn't even thought to pay attention to the signs. But they made no difference, I would only know where we were heading, but not where we were stopping. Sigh.

A little while later, Jake found a small diner, you know one of those that looks light it belongs in a horror movie? Well in all fairness, a werewolf was about to walk in. Although he wasn't evil like how they were portrayed in film and most literature, thank goodness. He wasn't going to walk in and attack unsuspecting citizens.

We walked in, causing a little bell hanging on the door frame to jingle. Right away we were given a booth near the back, by a waitress with lots of curly red hair, who liked to chew her gum loud, that would have been real disturbing, but her bright smile and warm eyes told me that she was genuinely nice, so I could deal with a little noise from her gum. Jacob and I both ordered orange juice and breakfast. It was the afternoon but we hadn't eaten this morning so it didn't seem too inappropriate. Waffles for Jacob, pancakes for me, and don't forget lots of syrup. We ate and chatted.

"so, how do you like running away so far?" Jacob asked playfully, but I could see the curiosity written clearly across his face.

"I'm enjoying myself very much, but I knew I would, after all I'm with you" I answered, smiling.

He beamed, and I was pleased to have made him happy.

I looked at his smiling face, and I had never really noticed how him smiling made me feel. I always knew that his pain was my pain and him happy made me happy. But now, as I looked at him from across the table, I realized that it made me love him even more. But it wasn't really the smile itself, it was what it represented, his joy, his pleasure, his care free attitude. His free spirit and how it had helped to free mine too. I really did love this kid.

"Would you allow me to pick up this check?" I asked Jacob when we had finished eating. He opened his mouth to protest, and I raised my eyebrows and pouted innocently, knowing that he was going to say no, but begging him not to.

"Yes Bella you may pick up the check, but may I inform you that I do have a job waiting for me when we get to where we are going." he said. And I wondered when he had planned all of this out.

"Where" I asked, curious.

"An auto body shop, where else" he said in what can only be describes as a 'shouldn't you know that already' kind of voice.

Well I did know that he liked to work on cars, but I never really thought of it as a career opportunity. But thinking about it now, it sounded perfect for Jacob.

"Where am I going to work?" I wondered out loud. I was really just talking to myself but Jake answered anyway

"as it is, right now, you wont have to work, ill be making enough money for both of us" he told me, sounding pleased with himself.

"You know that I can't let you pay for everything, at least let me work part-time" I tried to reason with him.

"Why won't you just let me take care of you Bella?" he looked so hurt in that one moment, that I almost felt like crying. He really knew how to provoke really strong emotional reactions from me. _Stupid perfect boy that I was in love with. _

"It isn't that I don't want you taking care of me, but I can't just let you work all the time to support us. Not only would I miss you because you would be working way too much, but you would wear yourself out. Part of taking care of me, is being with me, and also I've told you before that the equality thing really bothers me" I concluded, hoping that he would understand.

And he did understand, he caved. Telling me 'what ever makes you happy Bella" Yay!

* * *

A/N: ok so just like i promised it was a nice and long chap...so yea plz review, ill love you forever! and i think that you may want this update..in the next few chap. things get kinda interesting! so you know our deal reviews equal updates...k thx bye!!!


	11. FINAL DESTINATION

**_ok so i kind of wanted to adress this review real quick...just listen! it was from '_**stupid-unrealiable-vampire' _**telling me that bella wanted to get married in washinton but cant because Jacob is 16 and u must be 18...and altho i appreciate her telling me..and it is true and i kno that..but you can get married if your under 18 if you have parental consent...ok FINALLY heres chap 11**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**SAY THOSE SIMPLE WORDS I LOVE TO HERE 'WELCOME HOME'**_...

_Final Destination_

We left the diner shortly after Jacob had made me fall more in love with him. With his understanding nature. He was just way too perfect. I often wondered what I had done special, to deserve such a wonderful guy. Well what ever it was, I was glad that I did it!

We got into the Truck, and I scooted all the way over, so I was very close to Jacob. Most people would call it 'too close for comfort', but it was actually when I was most comfortable, when I was in his arms. He pulled me closer, as if I wasn't extremely close already and he whispered

"Bella, I love being this close to you, you have no idea how good it feels."

If it was even half as good as I felt when we were like this, then it was pretty amazing. I didn't want to go into all the details of how it felt, as if he were holding me together, and his warmth, in actuality, felt as if it warmed my very soul. So I settled on

"I think I have a pretty good idea" snuggling closer and wrapping my arms around his waist. For the first time in a long time he was wearing a shirt. 'Because we are in public' he had said, when I asked him why all of the sudden he felt the need to be clothed. And it occurred to me, that I very much liked him shirtless. But even in a shirt, he was still very warm, I could feel his heat radiating off of his body and through the cloth.

I had to clear something up with Jacob, it had been bothering me a little, not that I didn't trust him, but I had a real fear of the unknown.

"Jacob, where are we going to live?" I asked quietly. I mean, hotels where fun, but I could only see so many before I flipped! And I really didn't want to have to live in the truck. That wouldn't be too fun, don't you agree?

"I found us an apartment. Two bedrooms, one bath, living and dinning areas, and a kitchen. I've seen it, so don't worry, its pretty nice. It think you'll like it" he answered. He was really good at running away. Especially since he was like 16, but he didn't seem like it, he was so mature. And took such good care of us both.

Wow! Our first apartment. I was ecstatic but I wondered why we would even need two bedrooms. I figured we would just share one. When had been sharing a bed for about a week. So why should it be different. We had nothing to do with a second bedroom. But I figured that maybe he had gotten a two bedroom apartment, to respect me, like always. Maybe he thought that I'd be uncomfortable, so he got a two bedroom apartment just incase. That was sweet.

For the most part, we talked about the wedding. I don't know why, but I was excited. I really wanted to spend the rest of my life as 'Mrs. Jacob Black' it sounded so cool! I knew that it would take time though. Jacob wasn't even old enough to get married, and we were not ready to go back to Forks just yet But that didn't stop me from being excited.

"Where would you like it, I'm for what ever makes you happy" Jacob said, sincerely. It made me smile, and I wondered what he would think about my 'dream place'

"what about the cliff up at the reservation?" I asked hesitantly. That's where I wanted it, but this day was about him too. So if he didn't like it, we'd pick something that made us both happy. He smirked, and I had a feeling that he had known that I was going to say that. I guessed, that I had said something about it in my sleep or something.

"I think it's a perfect place to get married" he answered, kissing my head. Yay! I was happy that he was happy.

"But you do realize that we would have to return, for that place to be available to us, right?" he asked.

"I was kind of hoping that one day, not right now, but maybe soon, we would be able to go back" I whispered. The way he had said it, it sounded that returning wasn't going to be an option. And that saddened me, I knew that Charlie would be upset if I never came back.

"I figured that you would get home sick eventually" Jacob said understandingly "and we can go back whenever your ready" he smiled. I beamed, that made me so happy! We would be able to go back, and get married, and do what ever else we wanted to do! This was great.

We talked a little more about the wedding, well Jake did, I just listened. I briefly wondered who was more excited me or him? He talked about who he wanted to invite. He wanted to invite what I had originally thought of as a cult that turned out to be a pack of werewolves. I though about who I wanted to invite, there had to be someone else besides Angela. And then it hit me. I wanted to invite Alice. She had been my best friend, before Jacob. But there was no way for her to know, and even if she did know, by maybe _seeing _it, she couldn't attend. The cullens were not allowed on their land. I sighed, slightly. It saddened me that I would never get to see Alice again, and that I couldn't invite her to my wedding. Even though, knowing her, she would want to plan the entire thing.

Jacob looked down at me curiously, wondering why I had sighed. But I just shook my head. I really didn't see any reason for him to know. And if I told him that I was missing one of the cullens, his enemy, he might begin to think that I felt incomplete. He may think that I didn't believe he was enough for me. Which isn't even close to being true, he's way more than I deserve.

He continued to talk about the wedding, flowers he thought would look nice, and where the reception would be. I just kissed him lightly on his neck, face, and shoulder. I felt like I should show him some kind of affection, what type of man really participates in the wedding planning? Only the best ones! As far as I knew men never really did, Phil hadn't helped with my mom's wedding, and the rest I was basing off of television. But I still figured Jacob was just way better than other men or boys, what ever way you wanted to look at it. Even with my lack of experience with weddings.

"You kissing me like that, makes me think of what color dress you should wear" he grinned to let me know that he was just kidding. And I slapped him playfully on the arm. But then I really did think about what he had said. I decided I would wear white anyway, even though it symbolized virginity, which I no longer possessed. But hey, only Jake and I knew that right?

The next few hours, Jake drove, kissed me, and refused to tell me where we were going. I just held him around the waist, kissed him back, and stopped asking. we were almost there anyway, so there was no real point. So I settled on just being close to him. Enjoying lying on his strong chest, with my arms wrapped around him.

I looked down at my watch, it was a little pass 5 30 pm. We were not on the highway anymore. And I didn't know if that meant that we were at our destination. I looked out of the window as we slowly pulled up to an apartment building. It was kind of dark outside, but from the looks of it, the apartment was grey and made of stone. I was instantly in love with it, and I wondered if this was where we were going to live. If it was, I was excited. Jacob leaned down, whispering into my ear

"welcome home Bella" Yay! It was gorgeous, and with the little bit I could see, through the windows, it looked wonderful inside too.

"Jake, I love it! But where are we" I asked. Happy to finally know where we had run away to.

"We are in New York" he answered simply._ Cool!_

* * *

_**as if my last note wasnt long enough hahaha ..im just here to make sure you remember our deal..reviews equal updates...i need to kno what u guys think cuz im kinda startin 2 hate this story so if no one wants 2 read it then i can stop writting it..which i dont wanna do but i feel like its suckin real bad..and i kno its slow but its about 2 pick up if u just bear with me..ok review and ill be your best friend! hahaha k thx bye...**_


	12. GUESSING GAME OF FUN

Ok so im a fool and forgot to tell you all about my new cool idea...

There was some foreshadowing going on in chapter '11' and I want to see if anyone can figure it out...

If you can here is the prize, something I've seen others do and I thought was cool. Ill send you a kick ass quote from an upcoming chapter...

I think this will be fun! So lets all try to guess!

Ok so tell me what you think of the story then try to guess what happens next and u get a kool quote! yay!

Love dark m press


	13. JUNK FOOD SICKNESS

_**C'MON, JUST BE HAPPY WITH ME...**_

_Junk Food Sickness_

Wow! New York! This would be fun, not that I wasn't already enjoying myself. We had our own apartment, Jacob had a job, I was going to look for one of my own A.S.A.P. and this would be great. Jacob slipped a key into my hand, it wasn't like modern keys. It was old, looking as if it were to a secret gate of mediaeval castle or something. It was cool though, and as strange as it sounds, I couldn't wait to unlock the door.

When I traveled all the way up to the top floor, unlocked the doors, and turned on the lights, I got another gorgeous surprise. There were red, white, and black roses everywhere. It was so beautiful. But I didn't understand, how could he have done this, he had been with me the entire time. And just like always, it seemed as if he could read my thoughts, because he answered my unspoken question.

"I had a little bit of help" he walked into the apartment behind me, wrapping his long arms around my waist. I leaned back into him, and he kissed my hair softly.

"This apartment is perfect" I whispered, so he would know that I loved it, I didn't want him to think that I didn't appreciate his choice, because I did, very much. But it was so nice, that it worried me.

"Can we afford this" I asked, turning around to face him. He sighed, but was smiling, so I knew that he wasn't really angry.

"Its free Bella, my family owns the property" he explained.

That made me very happy, I didn't want him over working himself trying to please me, by paying for this apartment.

"That's why I told you that you don't have to work, the only thing we really need to pay for is food. Everything else has been provided by the Black family" he went on to explain that an Aunt and Uncle of his owned the apartment, and several others, making them very rich, and they were kind enough to pay our bills for us. That was cool, but it made me feel bad. I knew that we should pay our own bills, but it would be sort of disrespectful if I refused, so I didn't say anything. Not that it helped at all, considering Jacob could like read my mind or something.

"Don't worry Bella, they offered, and would have been upset if I had refused." I sighed, I knew that I would not win this argument, so I just nodded and kissed him.

I decided that I would tour the rest of the apartment. Jacob had mentioned a kitchen, two bedrooms and one bath room, a living room, and a dining room but said nothing about the balcony. I looked out at it, and it brought back memories of the night when I had first admitted to loving Jacob. He had kissed me out on the balcony, and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. This balcony was just as nice, and I couldn't wait to spend quiet nights on it with Jacob.

The bedroom was huge, it took all of my self control not to jump on the bed. You would think that I was a bit more mature huh? Well I'm not.

The bathroom was gorgeous, and like our last hotel, it had a hot tub. And I realized that I hadn't gotten to act out my hot tub fantasy with Jacob. Well we could do it now, not at this moment, but sometime soon, like in the near future. The kitchen was amazing, and I couldn't wait to cook dinner for my fiancé. Those words sounded oh-so-good together.

The first thing we did after we unpacked, watched tv. We were so worn out, and it felt good to finally relax. Jacob was lying with his back to the arm of the couch, and I was resting peacefully between his legs, lying on his chest. He was even sweet enough to let me have the remote control and find something to watch. And even with cable, it was very difficult to find suitable programing. We settled on some romantic movie, and it felt good to be able to watch those types of films again. Before it would have burned, caused me physical pain, the whole 'living without Edward' thing I was trying to do, but I was almost all better now. Thanks to Jacob.

I snuggled closer to him, closing my eyes, and falling into a dreamless sleep. I woke up in a bed, I was assuming that it was ours, as in Jacobs and mine. I heard water running, coming from the direction of the bathroom. I know that you are not suppose to investigate strange noises but curiosity got the best of me, and I walked toward the cracked open bathroom door. I looked in and there was Jacob, stepping out of the shower, dripping wet, in only a towel. Can you imagine what that did to me. He looked up in time to see me biting my lip, trying really hard to not jump on him._ Control yourself Bella!_ I internally yelled at myself.

He came over and hugged me with his dripping wet body. Between the water and the hotness, not just his body heat, I had to stop breathing for a second, telling myself to behave.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I was getting ready for work" he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"Will you always have to go to work this early?" I asked him, looking up onto his dark eyes. I didn't know what time he would be home, what if he got in late and had to get up early everyday, that would kill me. I'd feel _so_ bad.

"No, not everyday, but because its my first day, they want me in early to 'show me the ropes'" he mimicked, making invisible quotation ,arks in the air. I smiled, satisfied with his answer.

" I have a break in the middle of the day, and I'll be back home, so don't miss me too much" he teased. I grinned, because his teasing was actually very truthful, I would miss him, very much, probably a little bit too much, the last time we were apart I nearly had and anxiety attack! But I would be ok, he would be back home in the middle of the day.

He kissed me lightly on the lips, and went into our bedroom to get dressed. Although I was tired, I knew that going back to sleep wouldn't be an option. So instead I went into the kitchen, wondering if we had any groceries yet, if we didn't, that could be something for me to do, to occupy my time. But to my disappointment, we were stocked! Damn that Jacob, did he have to be so perfect? But I wouldn't have it any other way.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I decided that I would occupy myself with television and some pop corn that I had found in the cabinet. I was pretty bored. And I had the sudden urge to throw up. Not like on purpose, but I felt suddenly sick! And I didn't know why. I had already been sick once! That time that I had thought Jacob had the same sickness that I did, but it turned out he had turned into a wolf. I didn't want to be sick again, I absolutely loathe viruses. I ran to the bathroom, almost too late. But I made it. The funny thing was that after I threw up, I felt fine. No stomach or head ache. I didn't feel dizzy, or like a had a fever. So, I concluded that I must have just eaten too much popcorn or something. With the whole 'running away' thing Jacob and I were trying to accomplish, we hadn't really been eating the healthiest of meals, we mainly ate fast food, so maybe it was a build up of junk food, especially since my body wasn't used to it. It could definitely make me sick.

There was another explanation, and I knew it. But wouldn't it be too soon? But for some reason I felt like even though it seemed to be too soon to be sick, I was right about the second option. As soon as I left the bathroom, I thought about what else could be making me sick. But I didn't want to jinx anything. I would wait for Jacob to come home and we would talk. But as scared as I was of the alternative to the 'junk food sickness' I was surprisingly excited. I just hoped that, if I was right, Jacob would be just as happy.

* * *

**_ok u kno this already..i wanna kno how im doin so review and ill luv u for always...umm duh reviews 4 updates..which u kinda want bcuz Steven who is my favorite person is commin in the next chap! _**

**_ok i promise to explain why she is already sick so dont ask plz._**

**_k thx bye! REVIEW!_**


	14. IMPRINT

_**YOU REMIND ME OF THIS GUY THAT IM SORT OF IN LOVE WITH...**_

_Imprint _

I sat back down on the couch, thinking. If I was right, well that couldn't be, it was much too soon to be sick right? But I had this feeling, like intuition almost, that I was correct in my suspicions. If I was right what would we do? Jacob should be here soon, and then we could talk, I told myself. I loved him and he loved me so maybe he wouldn't think it was bad thing. I would be happy, it was something that I had wanted for a long time. Although a long time ago, I was willing to give up my dreams of children, for Edward. But that was something that I didn't have to worry about.

The only real thing I was worrying about was how Jacob would react, if I was right. He was still so young, and I wondered if it was right of me to ask so much of him. He didn't deserve to have his childhood taken from him anymore than it already had been. But I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to decide anything, without him. But would it be better to just leave him alone. Would it be better to run? Leave him to protect him? But that didn't seem right. If you can leave the one you claim to love more than life itself, your not really telling the truth about loving them. That is how I felt about it. I would only leave Jacob, if I was ordered away. And I hoped that it wouldn't go there.

Just then there was a knock on the door._ Good we can talk_ I thought to myself. I figured it must be Jacob, but why didn't he have a key? Maybe he had given me the only key last night and was knocking because we hadn't had the opportunity to make a copy. But if that was true then why didn't he just take the key? I had no where to go and he knew that. So I went to open the door. Maybe not the smartest move, considering I didn't know who it was, it could not be Jacob. But something told me that who ever was on the other side of the door was no trouble. Plus, since when did I exercise self preservation skills?

I opened the door slowly, revealing a really tall and really handsome blond boy, who I felt I had seen before. I just couldn't place where. But I knew he looked familiar.

"Hi, I'm Steven Black, I'm Jacobs cousin" he greeted me, sticking out his hand to shake. I took his hand and responded

"I'm Bella, Jacobs fiancé, its very nice to meet you" he smiled warmly and I smiled back, stepping aside to allow him to enter mine and Jakes new home. Right away, he started up a conversation.

"So how do you like you new apartment?" I figured he was just trying small talk with me, and waiting for Jacob to return, he should be getting that break of his any moment now. But I answered anyway, so it wouldn't be awkward.

"I love it, its gorgeous, especially with all the flowers" I answered. again, admiring the beauty of my new home. He smirked, not bitterly, but humorously and it reminded me of Jacobs smirk. When he wasn't being bitterly sarcastic. They didn't look alike but oddly, he reminded me of Jake. His warmness, I concluded. he was really nice and surprisingly easy to talk to, just like Jake had been the first time we met. Not that Jacob still wasn't easy to talk to though. It must run in the family.

"Glad you like them" he answered. And then it clicked, Jacobs words and Stevens.

"You were the help? Well thank you very much they're gorgeous" I smiled brightly. What a nice thing to do, especially for a person he hadn't met.

"Do you know when Jacob will be back, I kind of need to speak with him... about Sam" Steven said and I instantly stiffened. How in the world did he know where we had run off to? This was _not _good. We were running away from them! And they found us. But in all fairness we had run right to family, well Jacobs family. Reading the fear and anger that was present on my face Steven replied

"its alright, you are in no danger. He only wishes to talk" I wasn't sure how much of a problem I had with that. Talking wasn't what I was anxious about, I was afraid he would take Jacob away from me. I would fight harder the next time, if there was a next time. He was not going to separate us again, I wouldn't allow it. But I would wait for Jacob to return, before I had a heart attack or something.

I looked at the clock, it was 2 , and Jacob would be home at 2 30. So I decided it would be the appropriate time to make him some lunch, plus it would take my mind off of Sam and the La Push boys or wolves, what ever they were. I searched through the kitchen cabinets, searching for something quick, easy, and filling. I found what can only be called '_one million cans of soup_' so I guessed that was what was for lunch today. I took about 7 or 8 cans and dumped them all in a large pan I found. I knew that Jacob ate a lot. With the whole werewolf thing, and needing the extra calories. I just hoped that this was going to be enough. Half way through cooking, Steven entered the kitchen. I had left him to watch t.v. while I went to cook lunch. But I guess he got bored or something.

"It isn't ready yet, but your welcome to have some when it's finished" I said to him as soon as he walked in, eyeing the abnormally large pot of soup. He smiled and sat down at the little table that was in the kitchen. It was kind of there for no reason because the apartment had a dining room, but it made the kitchen look cute anyway. So I wasn't going to complain about it's presence. I decided that I would play chef, and add spices to the soup that I thought would make it taste really good. This would be our first meal in our new home, so I wanted Jacob to enjoy it. And I wanted Steven to enjoy it as well because he was our first official guest.

Jacob came home a short time after I thought the soup might be cooked all the way through. And it tasted great. If I do say so myself. He walked right over to me, as if he hadn't seen his cousin Steven sitting down at the kitchen table. He kissed me softly and wrapped him arms around my waist.

"Miss me?" he whispered.

"You already know that I did, but I wasn't too lonely I had some company" I replied with a smile. Jacob looked at me confused

"who?" He asked and I smiled and turned to acknowledge Steven. Jacob was clearly surprised as he crossed the kitchen to hug his family member

"how are you, what are you doing here?" Jacob asked excited. I loved seeing Jacob so bright eyed, and _smilie._ I would have to invite Steven over often, if this was how Jacob reacted.

"Well, one I wanted to see you, and meet 'Bella' who I've heard so much about-" I blushed "-and I have spoken to Sam" Steven answered. Jacobs smile faltered, but it didn't turn into a full frown like I had expected.

"What did he tell you Steven?" Jacob suddenly sounded very serious, and I wasn't sure if I should be afraid or not. Steven, either oblivious to Jacobs temper of just indifferent, answered very calmly

"he only wants you to come back, he asked that you at least consider returning"

"That isn't all of it Steven, tell me the rest of it" Jacob answered, his anger clearly rising. It was as if he knew exactly what Steven was about to say, but Steven answered anyway

"he told me to ask you if she is really worth it" he told Jacob softly, looking down at the floor and very nervous. I don't think he enjoyed being in the middle of our feud. It made me feel bad, he had been so nice and we had thrown him into the middle of our fight. Jacob didn't look as angry as he had before. He was smirking, seemingly very pleased. It wasn't the bitter smirk I hated, but it had the same arrogant edge to it.

"well you may tell Sam that she is very worth it, because I've imprinted, and he knows as well as I do that he can not control that"

Steven looked happy, and surprised. He hugged Jacob, very tightly. It looked like he should have snapped him in half. I on the other hand, stood near the stove, the soup spoon I had been stirring with still in my hand, very confused. I didn't know what that meant, but it was soon to become one of my favorite words.

* * *

_ ** a/n**_

_ok we have gone through this a million times, reviews equal updates..c'mon tell me what you think..plz and thanks_

_i think u want this update..jocobs reaction 2 bella pregnancy..yay! ps dont ask why she is sick already, i will tell you i promise..._

_hahaha, gues who he imprinted with (dont really guess cuz i think we all kno) hahaha, i luv happyness_


	15. SWEET PERFECTION

**_WHAT EVER IT IS THAT YOU DO TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY, PLEASE DON'T HAVE THE INTENT TO EVER STOP..._**

_Sweet Perfection_

Jacob and Steven were still hugging, and I was still confused. I wondered if I should break the family moment by asking what 'imprinted' meant. If you ask me, it sounded like a tattoo or something, but I was sure that wasn't it. I was just being silly, but that is what it made me think of.

"Congratulations man!" Steven yelled. Then he looked over at me, and I'm guessing he noticed the curious expression I wore

"does she know yet, Jacob?"

Jacob shook his head at Steven, and smiled at me. I was about to ask him to explain, but again his mind reading abilities kicked in

"would you like me to explain Bella?" I didn't even have to answer, he knew I did. He pulled out a chair for me, and told me to sit down. That is usually a bad thing, when people are about to tell you something and they tell you to sit down. But Jacobs toothy grin told me that I didn't have a reason to be worried.

"well Bella, basically I've imprinted with you-" as if that didn't confuse me more. "-Its like falling in love when you see a person, but _stronge_r. It isn't simple to explain. Its one of many strange things that have to do with becoming a werewolf. But it isn't like love at first sight its more like..." he was still, quiet for a moment before he continued "...gravity moves. When you see _her_, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her...you become what ever she needs you to be. And that's what you are to me, _my everything_. And I would do _anything_ for you."

I hadn't really realized that tears had been streaming down my cheeks, until Jacobs wiped them away. Could I cry anymore?! Gosh! But I couldn't help it that was the single most sweetest thing I had ever heard from anyone. And what was cool was, it pretty much summed up how I felt for him. He was my entire life, and everything I did was for him.

" I love you so very much" I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me, and brought his lips to mine, kissing me _hard. _

A little after that, we ended up eating. Me thinking about Jacob and what he had said, and about what could be a new addition to the house. I only_ kind of _listened to Jacobs and Stevens conversation. Sometime during my zoning out I realized where I had seen the handsome blond boy across the table, prior to this evening. There were pictures of him and Jacob all over the Black house, back in Forks. I remembered them, always smiling and laughing, clearly close. If I hadn't known better I would have said Steven was a brother of Jacobs. I realized now that he was a very important cousin. I knew without a doubt that I would see him quite often, with Jacob and him being so close, he would come visit. I had no problem with that. He was a really nice kid, happy all the time, just like Jacob. They fit well together, I wouldn't be surprised if they claimed to be best friends!

Steven left shortly after we had finished eating, and while Jacob went to lock the door and say his goodbyes to his cousin I began to clean up the kitchen. All that soup I had made, and there was hardly any left. I wondered if Steven was a wolf too, between the two of them, groceries would cost a great deal of money. Plus the potential extra mouth to feed.

Jacob would have to go back to work soon. So if I wanted to talk to him, it would have to be _now_. I put the pot in the sink to soak, along with the bowls and spoons we had used. They would be easier to clean that way.

I walked over to Jacob slowly, suddenly extremely nervous. I was worried about how he would react to the news of me _maybe_ being pregnant.

"Can we sit for a moment, I have something to talk to you about" I said hesitantly. He looked confused and slightly anxious. Anyone else wouldn't have been able to pick up on his worry, but I knew him well enough.

"What is it Bella?" he questioned softly, his dark eyes staring into mine.

"I know it would be kind of early to tell, but I got sick this morning" I began. I was about to continue but Jacob cut me off

"are you alright?" he looked even more worried. So I decided to just come out with it. He had a right to know and I knew it was killing him not to. _So impatient!_ I looked down and whispered a soft

"I think that I'm pregnant"

His silence told me that he was angry, and I didn't want to look up, I was so hurt. He didn't want the baby, and I knew that we would have to break up. I took a deep breath, fully prepared to ask him to stay. We had been through _so much _together. And I loved him, he completed me. I had to convince him that this was _good _news.

However, when I looked back into his eyes, I saw _happiness_ That wasn't what I was expecting. I thought he was angry. His eyes brightened, and he grabbed me into a strong, warm love-filled embrace. We stayed like that for awhile until I felt random moisture suddenly on my shoulder, and looked up to see the cause of it. He was crying but only a little, and whispering 'thank you' well I guess that meant he was happy huh? Yay! Because I was happy too. We would be one big happy family. Well not really, there was only three of us, 4 if you count Steven. But still, we would be happy.

I was so relieved that Jacob was happy. But what if I had been wrong about the pregnancy, and it was all the junk food I had been eating or something else? That would hurt me, and I knew , now, that it would crush Jacob. He kissed me, softly, a little too softy if you ask me, so I ended up deepening the kiss. Jacob moaned and pulled away

"I have to get back to work" he whispered sadly. I smiled at his disappointment. He kissed me softly one more time and walked out of the door.

Well I knew what I would be doing for the rest of the day. I headed out of the door of my new cool apartment, locking it with my new cool key, and hoped into my not-so-cool old truck. There was a pharmacy on the corner, and I would be going there to get a pregnancy test, or two actually. It would be more accurate if two different brands said the same thing. Or really confusing if they both said something different. There was always the hospital if my plan failed. I was suddenly ecstatic that we were not in Forks Washington anymore. Word of me buying a pregnancy test would surly get all around the town, quickly making it's way to Charlie.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I looked down at both test strips, both reading the same thing. If there were accurate, if these test truly worked, then I was in fact pregnant! I was so happy, and I missed Jacob, I couldn't wait for him to come home. The only thing I didn't understand was how in the world I was sick already. It should take at least a month to throw up. I bet it was some freaky wolf thing again. Maybe if I was lucky, since it started soon, it would end soon too.

I sat there for a while, on the edge of the bathtub. What would this mean, if we ever went back to Forks. I could see it now, everyone would say I ran away and came back pregnant. That wouldn't be too fun to explain to Charlie.

Just as that thought passed, there was a knock on the door. I answered it right away, hoping it was Jacob. It was the handsome blond Steven,_ again, _we would have to get this guy one of those cool looking keys, if he was going to keep popping up like this. Not that I minded him visiting, but he was _not_ going to make a habit of making me get up to open the door for him. I looked at him curiously, he was holding a bouquet of roses, mixed with the same colors as before. I took them from him, and smiled, although I was very confused.

"They are from Jacob, he called me from his job and made me go down there, he wanted me to drop them off for him" he said, smiling and handing me a small card then walking away, down the stairs. I looked at the tiny card, clearly written by Jake. It read

'_Isabella you have truly made me the happiest man on earth. You have no idea how much you mean to me. And just when I thought I couldn't love you anymore, that it would be physically painful if I did, you make me fall more in love with anyway, and it does hurt, but in a good way. You are absolutely perfect, I'll be home soon and I love you, so very, very much.'_

And for, what felt like, the millionth time, I cried because of Jacobs sweet perfection.

* * *

_**OK FIRST I HUGE THANK U TO MY REVIEWERS...YOU MAKE MY LIFE HAPPIE 3...SO YEA KEEP DOIN IT..**_

_**UMM YEA U KNO THIS..REVIEWS EQUAL UPDATES AND ILL BE UR BEST FRIEND FOREVER! HA! PLZ AND THX**_


	16. INSULTED AND PISSED

OK so first i wanna thank u guys for ur lover-ly reviewsu guys rock...and im tryin 2 write better, but im not a writter, stories are not really my thing.. i cant spell 2 save my life and i write poetry which is why my grammer sucks, cuz i dont use it in my writtin usually so ive gotten some super-kick ass reviews and im happy..but some havent been so nice..crit is wecum but dont be a bitch..cuz u must take into consideration that i dont write stories and that i suck it..so yea.. 'NOT DONE BAKING' preetie much just insulted the hell outta be about 'from here 2 eternity' and my weekend sucked anywaii (which is not ur prob but still) so imma just say this 2 her..

so, i cant believe u really just went thru my entire story and pissed me off about it..it isnt bein published..its 4 the internet..grammer and spellin can kiss my ass! cuz i really dont care it isnt that important..its a fuckin knock off of a real story..so u need 2 chill..imma saii this one fuckin tyme and plz consider my next words carefully 'YOU DONT FUCKIN LIKE IT? THEN DONT FUCKIN READ IT' OK? it isnt that serious, its an internet story that is stupid any fuckin waii..i do it 4 fun..so of course it isnt gonna be perfect...if it doesnt live up 2 ur 'standards' then kiss my ass and choose a dif. story..k?

so yea u wanna kno wats funnie? she says all this mean shit then puts my story in her alert list..but she obvi. doesnt like it so wtf?

ok im sry but i had 2 do that cuz im already pissed..this has been a bad week..so i prob. wont update 4 a while cuz i like lost my will 2 live..cuz apparently my story sucks...

all of u who like it..dont worry im not leavin 4ever but if i write while im angry my writtin will reflect that..and it will suck even more (cuz 2 'NOT DONE BAKING' it already does!...

bye luv u guys i hope 2 be back soon...


	17. WHY SHES SICK

_**BECAUSE, WITHOUT YOU I DON'T MAKE SENSE...**_

_Why She's Sick_

Jacob came home a few hours after I had made my grand trip to the pharmacy. He walked through the door, with a huge smile. It seemed like his smile hadn't faded from when he had left wearing it, to go back to work. He crossed the floor towards me and the first thing he did was hug me tightly and kiss me passionately. I smiled against his gorgeous full lips. This was so great! I couldn't be happier!

"Miss me much?" I joked, when Jacob finally let me breath again.

"You already know that I did" he answered with a smile. The smile that I love oh-so-much.

"I went to the pharmacy and I got a couple of home pregnancy test, and if they are as accurate as everyone says they are, we are indeed going to have a baby" I informed Jacob happily. His smile grew, although I hadn't thought it possible, it had already been so large. I knew that I would have to go to the hospital soon, to be sure. But I wasn't sure if that was such a good idea, with the whole werewolf thing going on.

He pulled me lovingly into his lap, and we sat on the couch silently. There was so much to say, but I guessed that neither of us wanted to break the silence. It would be sad to ruin such a peaceful, happy moment. I was wrapped in Jacobs strong arms, and I didn't want to ever move. But I knew that I had to speak with him, so I sat up and turned to face him.

"Any idea as to why I'm already sick?" I inquired. I shouldn't have been sick for another three weeks or so, but I was throwing up. Jacob looked down suddenly finding the floor very interesting, he almost looked guilty? I couldn't understand why. He had done nothing wrong, he only loved me. And in all fairness I had sort of provoked him the first time we made love. I had climbed on top of him, and kissed him all over-yeah it was defiantly my fault. I didn't regret it at all. Even now, that I was pregnant. That just made me even more happy that I had aroused him that night. The only thing I was having trouble with was being so sick, so soon. I was mostly just worried about the baby. Did it mean that there was something wrong if I was so sick? Was it that if I wasn't healthy then our unborn child wasn't doing so well either? I just wanted the baby to be alright.

"I'm sorry bella, I don't want you to be sick, I wish I could take it from you." he whispered. Although that was sweet. I knew that there was something else that he wasn't telling me. Because there had to be a reason for the guilty look on his face. I knew him too well. He was hiding something from me, which was strange because he always told me everything. He was always honest. Besides that time he had turned into a werewolf, there was absolutely nothing he wasn't willing to tell me. Did that mean that what ever it was this time was_ that _bad,_ so_ bad that he felt he couldn't tell me?

"What else is there Jacob" I didn't want to admit it but I was slightly frightened. I wanted to know what it was that he wasn't telling me. He knew that I was prepared to pester him until he told me. So I didn't have to push any further, he began to explain on his own

"Like most everybody on the reservation, I thought they were all legends. This legend said that when one is an active werewolf, like when they morph a lot, and they father a child, the child grows quicker in the womb. The process is sped up. No one really knows why. Most say its because the werewolf gene speeds up other things, like healing, and growing. So a werewolves offspring grows faster, like the father. But don't worry Bella, once the baby is born, it will slow down and grow normally. Its also said that, since it grows so fast, the pregnancy doesn't take as long. So you wont be too sick for very long."

After that, the look of guilt left his eyes. Guilt always subsides when you have told the truth. I suddenly realized what had been bothering him before. The whole reason he felt guilty in the first place. He thought that I would have a problem with the 'werewolf thing' and he felt bad for not telling me sooner. But I wasn't mad, I was more relieved than anything. To finally understand why I was so sick, this fast. It felt better to know what was going on. Now I wouldn't have to worry.

I smiled and kissed him, so he would know that I wasn't mad at him. He was too perfect to be mad at.

"Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I know that you were worrying, and im sorry I made you anxious."

He said sweetly. Yeah, I was right about why he looked guilty. But there was no reason for it, I wasn't angry. After all I hadn't thought about it either. It would have been a little more responsible to use some soft or birth control method. Like condoms or pills or something. But I still didn't regret my decision to make love to Jacob. Not only did it bring us closer, but we also got a miracle out of it. So I was happy.

"I'm not mad Jake, I was just worried, but I'm better now" I assured him. As far as I was concerned, it was just something else to be excited about. First it was our destination, then our wedding, and now our baby. Yay for us.

I made us some dinner, nothing special. Although it was our first dinner and we were celebrating not only our new miracle but Jacobs first day on the job, I was feeling so lazy. Jacob didn't complain though. He told me that dinner was delicious. So I didn't feel bad, as long as he was happy. But we did celebrate a little, toasting to 'our wonderful life together' with cans of soda. Jacob and I, being to young to drink, and me being pregnant anyway, we toasted with sprite. But it was still just as sweet as if it had been with wine or champagne.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I lied in bed next to a sleeping Jacob Black. I wanted to get up, shower, and put some clothes on. We had, of course, just finished making love. I joked with Jacob, as he kissed every part of my body, that was the way we had ended up here in the first place. The acting on sudden impulses and sudden urges. Like running away and making love. Now we were in New York and I was pregnant. Jacob answered with a simple

"And you won't find me complaining"

I wouldn't complain either. I had nothing to complain about, and that was how I liked it. Simple happiness. I had the love of my life, for real this time, and I was ecstatic!

Jacob stirred a little beside me, he wasn't waking up, just getting comfortable. I looked down at him, I loved the way he looked when he was asleep. Peaceful, not stressed out, and he looked young again. Like 16 year olds should. No vampires, werewolves, or an accident prone pregnant girlfriend to worry about.

But that didn't mean that I didn't love how he looked when he was awake too. Sometimes he would look stressed and tired. But I absolutely loved when he looked content. Just completely happy, without a care in the world. And I noticed, quite often, what he looked like when he looked at me. Like he couldn't be happier, I could clearly see the admiration-like I was the only and most beautiful girl ever made. And I loved that.

I looked back down at the peaceful sleeping Jacob, and remembered the metal picture I vowed to keep of a sleeping Charlie, if I never got to see him again. It looked like seeing him would be possible, just not right now, but I wondered if talking to him now would be. I would ask Jacob about it, tomorrow, and if he felt that it would be safe, I would do it. I would contact my father, who I knew was worrying and missing me. Yes, I had made my decision, I was going to call Charlie.

* * *

ok sry i took sooo long! but ur still gonna review and be nice right? hahaha, reviews for updates..its always our deal...umm FANCY PAGE BREAK is dedicated 2 twilightlovr..and THANK U 2 ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED AND SENT MESSAGES 2 MAKE ME FELL BETTER..hahaha, i luv u guys! 


	18. THE WHOLE TRUTH

_A/N: UMM, YEA I KNO I TOOK FOREVER AND ONE DAY TO UPDATE .. PLZ DONT BE TOO MAD .. I HAVE A GOOD REASON I PROMISE .. ITS BEEN LIKE THE ILL 8 MONTHS HUH? WILL YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY? CUZ I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS .._

* * *

**_COME HERE, LET ME TELL YOU A SECRET…_**

_The Whole Truth_

I looked up at Jacob, speechless. Not sure if I should be very angry with him or not. I could consider what he just told me as one of his 'looking out for me' gestures but was that really what he was doing? Or was he just looking out for himself? And for Charlie, because apparently he was in on this too.

I couldn't believe it. Sweet Caring Jacob had lied to me. At least I thought he did. _Was_ it even considered a lie, if he just didn't tell me, at least not until he had to. I wondered briefly if he would have told me at all, if I hadn't said anything about calling my father. Would he have never told me? And if he could keep something like this a secret, what else wasn't he telling me, honestly it frightened me to think about what else Jacob may have been keeping from me.

Jacob knew that I wanted to call Charlie so he told me the secret before Charlie could tell me, I'm guessing that Jacob decided to tell me first to make me less mad at him. I wasn't sure if it worked. I was confused as to how I felt. I was angry, that much I knew. I just wasn't sure if my anger was directed towards Jake and Charlie, or myself, or Edward. Who tied into all this as well.

I wanted to blame Edward the most, but I wasn't sure if that was simply because I was still kind of bitter about how he had left me, playing with my emotions and all that jazz. I wondered if maybe I just didn't want to be mad at Jake, who had tried so hard to help me, and had become _my everything_ in the process. So was I blaming Edward, The one person who brought me as close to Hatred as I could possibly go? I didn't hate Edward, I loved him, and that was the problem. Clearly it wasn't nearly as much as before, but loving him made me want to hate him **so** bad. Because of how he played with me, feeding off of my emotions, he knew how I felt and used me anyway, which is horrible.

This morning I told Jacob that I wanted to call Charlie. I missed him, and I was hoping that he wouldn't be too mad at me for running away, leaving nothing but a note. I hadn't really been gone long enough for him to be too mad to speak with me, I hoped. I just wanted him to know that I was safe and that I missed him and that I was sorry, but it felt right to run away with Jacob, it was something that we needed to do.

After I asked Jacob if he thought it was safe enough to call Charlie, because the wolf pack knew where we were anyway and I missed him terribly. Even he if was just going to yell at me, tell me that he was mad at me for leaving and screaming at me to come home this instant, I still wanted to hear his voice. Then Jacob told me not to call just yet. Jake said that there was something that he wanted to discuss with me first. I would have to wait for him to get home from work.

"Should I be worried" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure how to feel. What was so serious about calling Charlie that I had to wait all day for him to tell me? Was Charlie alright? If he hadn't been alright, and Jacob knew, wouldn't he have told me? And like always, Jacob read my mind and answered

"Charlie is okay and everything, there is just something you need to know before you contact Forks, I need you to hear it from me, so you'll understand"

Jacob kissed me and left right after saying that, not even giving me time to tell him to stay and explain right now. I was worried sick all day. I ran scenarios through my head of what could have possibly gone wrong in Forks. Were more people dying? The vampires that Jacob had mentioned only once still on the loose? Had the _protectors_ failed? But Charlie was okay? I didn't understand, not at all. And all the thinking gave me a headache. I wanted to know what was going on and I thought about just calling Charlie, to ease my mind, but Jacob told me not to and that he wanted to tell me. I trusted him, if he thought that there was a reason to not call until after we talked, I wouldn't call.

If he said not to call, I would respect that. Jacob hadn't given me any reason not to trust him_, ever_. So I would sit patiently until he came back and told me what ever it was he was thinking.

When he finally did come back, after what felt like an eternity, he kissed me softly and led me to the couch in front of the TV. I was nervous and I could tell that he was too, I didn't speak, I didn't want to make it harder for him. It looked as if he was already having a hard time trying to tell me. he took a deep breath and began

"Isabella, please know that everything I have done up to this point was to protect you, because I love you. You mean everything to me and I only wanted you to be safe. I swear that's all I wanted. And I hadn't meant to keep secrets; I just thought that maybe I wouldn't have to tell you because everything was going so perfect. Like, fate meant for it to be this way anyway, so I thought that it wouldn't matter, but you do have the right to know."

He looked up, studying my reaction I guessed. But my face was only confused. I didn't understand what it was he was referring to. Why was I not safe? And what hadn't he told me? I thought we had no secrets.

"Explain Jake" was all I said. He sighed, and I knew it was stressing him out, but his ranting was not helping at all.

"Okay, I told you that I had already planned to run away with you that night, but what I didn't tell you was the whole reason why. Charlie and I actually came up with the idea. Not of running away but getting away. Sam didn't approve. He didn't think I could protect you alone. Both from what we were running from and from myself. But I can control the 'wolf' in me. Sam was just worried because he wasn't so lucky. But that doesn't matter right now. All that matters is that you know the truth."

I think that he knew that I was still very confused. I didn't know the truth. There was something that he wasn't telling me, I saw it in his eyes when He looked into mine. It appeared as if willing me to understand, and not to be angry. He not be angry part was do-able because I still didn't understand. He had planned to run away with me, and somehow had gotten Charlie to let him take me away from Forks. That was clear enough. I understood it, just not why. So I asked him what we were running from exactly and his next sentence made it all very clear exactly how he got Charlie to agree, and what he was protecting me from.

"Edward had come back into town" Jacob whispered, Frowning as he watched the tears form in my eyes and spill down my cheeks.

* * *

**Review and i promise to update WAY faster than the last time .. and i an very sry for making you wait .. but you should review and make me happy. k thx** bye


	19. SILENT CONVERSATION

_**YOU ARE THE AIR I BREATHE, AND LETTING GO IS LIKE DEATH … **_

_Silent Conversation_

Now that I thought about it, it certainly explained a lot. Things that had never mattered, because I had no reason not to trust Jacob. But then things that I probably should have wondered about, clicked into place; Like why our first hotel was directly outside of Forks, without the fear of Charlie coming after us. How Sam knew where we had run. The convenience of Jacobs expert planning, which had not been done entirely by Jacob apparently. Why Charlie didn't come and get us, because if Sam knew, Billy knew, and Charlie would know where we were. And Charlie did know, not from Sam though, he knew from Jacob, who had planned it all out with him.

What got me most was the reason. Edward had come back. Possibly the entire Cullen Family and they didn't want me near them. And I had to think about why not. I mean, I knew the obvious reason, they didn't want me to go back to how I was, because I was clearly working SO hard to forget and I was getting better, slowly, but things like that take time. But I had a feeling that they were more scared of me running back to Edward, if the chance presented itself. They thought I would run back to him, if he beckoned me.

I understood their individual fears. Jacob didn't want to let me go, and Charlie didn't want to see me hurt. But did that make it alright to lie to me? To keep things from me? What made it worse is that I couldn't promise that before this I wouldn't have run back to Edward. And that scared me, made me think that maybe they had been right; I would have run back to Edward and it would have turned out terrible. With my thoughts not so clouded over from being head over heels for Edward, it was easier to realize that he had been right all along; he was no good for me.

How much he hurt me and kept things from me and all the things I would have had to give up to be with him; It wasn't healthy. But was Jacob much better for me? Was he much different? He said he loved me, as Edward had, and had lied to 'protect me' as Edward had also. So was there a real difference between loving Edward and loving Jacob? Were they essentially the same person?

I had to think about that for a while. Was there a difference? I concluded that yes there was. Jacob was sweet and pure and his lies hurt a lot less. And with Jacob, I felt safe and secure knowing that he would never hurt me. With Edward, it was just that I wouldn't care if he did. Jacob was sweet and warm and Edward was so cold and hard. Not just his skin, like he was emotionless, sometimes it would seem he didn't care. Which I found out later to be true. He didn't care. However, with Jacob I know he loved me, for sure. And when Jacob promised me that we would stay together, he knew it was what was best for me and it would stay that way. Edward loved me on a trial basis it seemed. That wasn't right.

Jacob was right, for me, and I knew that. He knew that. Charlie knew that. And losing Jacob hurt so much worse than losing Edward, and I wondered if that was because deep down, in my subconscious maybe, I knew that Edward leaving me was the right thing to do, and Jacob leaving me, well that was just stupid. I knew it wasn't the way that things should be. Us being apart felt so much worse than loosing Edward, even the thought of not having Jacob, hurt more.

I loved Jacob more and he loved me back. So different from what I had with Edward, and so much better. And even though I would rather not have things kept from me, I couldn't bring myself to stay mad at him. If it hadn't been for the lie, I may not have ever realized that Jacob was the natural path for my life and that I loved him this much and that he loved me back. I would have never realized how bad Edward was for me and how much I didn't deserve to be played with.

I deserved love and happiness, all the things Jacob was willing to give me, and he deserved the same. And I was willing to give that to him. And Edward, well he deserved to go to hell, if you ask me. A vampire? He was closer to a demon. He said that he had no soul and I realized now that he was that way because he wanted to be. He chose to be a monster. It had nothing to do with being a vampire; he was just a horrible person.

Not like Jacob, who was so wonderful. Even when I didn't deserve it. He thought I was worth giving up La Push and his wolf brothers, his dad. Just to protect me, just to love me. To make me love him. No that wasn't right, it wasn't to _make_ me love him. Just to make me _realize_ it. Realize that he was good for me and that we needed each other. I hadn't understood before we ran away. I was so wrapped up in Forks and Edward. He was right to not tell me, because I wouldn't have gone and would have missed all this. Which would be a shame.

At some point, I'm not sure when, I had stopped crying from when he had told me Edward was back. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what had caused the tears. Was it that I was angry I had been lied to? Or that I missed Edward? I didn't think it was the second one, but I didn't know. Jacob didn't know either, but he held me close anyway and whispered sorry over and over again. I was very aware of his arms around me, but sometime during my intense thinking I stopped noticing that he was speaking to me.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

We sat in silence through dinner. Jacob thought I was mad at him, so he didn't speak. I was thinking of a way to explain to him that I wasn't leaving. And I kind of wanted him to think that I was mad. I'm sure he was worried that I was going to try and run back to Edward. Instead of just simply saying that I wasn't, I let him worry. So that he would think twice about lying to me again. It wasn't very nice, but he shouldn't have lied. I wasn't _mad _exactly, but it still hurt. Even though I understood.

I barley tasted the food and I ate mechanically. Just for something to do, while I sorted through my thoughts and to keep from speaking just yet. Jacob barley ate at all, which worried me. He was always hungry, I was stressing him, and I felt bad.

I figured that he had endured enough torture and with the threat of me leaving him, he wouldn't lie anymore. I got up and threw away the remaining food, and put the dishes in the sink. I grabbed Jacobs's hand, and led him to the bedroom. We sat on the bed together, facing each other. Although Jacob wasn't looking at me. He looked down, and I knew why. He was afraid of what I was going to tell him. He also felt guilty for lying to me. Which he should.

I lifted his face up to look at me. He had done this to me many times. It was my turn to comfort him though. I looked into his eyes, trying to see everything, it was as close to mind reading as I was going to get. He was scared, and I felt horrible for letting it go on for so long. I was being mean.

"Jacob-" I whispered, "I'm not-" I was going to tell him that I wasn't leaving, ever. That I loved him and everything else, but he cut me off with

"Isabella, don't leave me, _please_" he sound so hurt, so small, so _venerable_. He was so close to crying, and so was I. I had vowed to myself to always make him smile, and look at what I did. He was trying to protect me, and I let him think that I was going to leave.

"Jacob, I'm not leaving you_, ever. _Not because you didn't tell me, and certainly not for _Edward_" I spat the name so Jacob would understand my aversion to Edward. I saw the surprise in his eyes, for how I said Edwards name. But I also saw that he was still scarred. Like I wouldn't stay. I loved Jacob too much to let him go. Couldn't he see that? It angered me that he couldn't and I had to rant to him about how much he meant to me.

"Can't you see you're my _everything_? My light in the darkness? My souls desire? Everything I need and more? My other half? My _love_? Why can't you understand that I need you Jacob Black? **I need you**! I can't breathe without you. And I know that you need me too. And its wonderful. Why would I let all this go? I can't let all this go. This is how it should be. We belong together. Don't you see that? I'm not leaving you, not now, not ever"

Jacob didn't say anything, out loud at least. I don't think anything could have been said after that. There were no words for the moment. So it was completely appropriate for his lips to crash into mine, saying more than words could. '_**I'm so Sorry Bella, I love you'.**_ I wrapped my hands around his neck, answering him silently with '_**I'll never let you go Jacob'**_ And I kissed him back, hard '_**yea, I love you too, more than you know**_'

* * *

A/N :im trying not 2 take 2 long updating, so here is another chap. & i luv u guys who love the story. so review so i can post the next chap. quickly. & ill tell you right now .. edward all comes into the picture soon. and what? tries 2 steal bella? maybe .. u wont know if you dont review .. yay .. kthxbye


	20. SIN STAINED ETERNITY a vampires tale

**_I WAS SO STUPID TO LET YOU GO ..._**

_SIN STAINED ETERNITY a vampires tale_

_Edwards POV._

I looked out of the window; I wanted to fade away, to disappear, to _die_. If that was even possible for me. It didn't matter what you called it, I just didn't want to exist anymore. I was so tired of living like this; it was too much and it hurt _**constantly**_. It seemed that there was never a moment when my chest wasn't burning, longing for her. My heart hadn't beat once in decades and yet the pain in my chest was so strong it had to have been fully intact, to be able to break like this.

It felt like I was missing essential pieces of myself. Ones that could only be gotten back, if I could have gotten back to _her_. When I left, everything that made me who I was, was left behind with her. I wasn't whole. I barley moved if it wasn't essential. And the only reason I hadn't ended my own 'life' was because I know that she wouldn't have wanted that. And there was the slim chance that fate would bring us back together.

Then I wouldn't be able to argue, and I wouldn't want to argue. Because I wanted was her, and I would do anything to get her back, if fate wanted it that way. I knew that I wasn't good for her, and it was selfish to want her back for my own happiness. But I wasn't just in it for me, I would make her happy, anything she wanted. If only there was a reason to have her back. Other than to stop the burning in my chest. Like, she would be in danger like before, and I could save her. And there would be no reason to leave. Because we both would refuse to let go of each other. It was my fantasy, at least a piece of it.

I had promised her silently, as I ran away from her, that she would be okay. I wish I could have promised myself the same thing. But I couldn't even bring myself to lie. I would never be okay, not without her. I knew that, and I wondered if she knew that.

I had lied so excellently the last time I had seen her, and I hoped that she wouldn't let that one lie ruin everything else I had ever told her. She should know how I felt about her. Considering how hard we had both worked for our relationship, she had to understand eventually that I left for her own good. She was good at figuring things out and she had to have realized that I loved her and left for her protection.

Which was the same reason that I had come back, mostly. It wasn't right, but Alice had been looking into her future, to make sure she was safe. She could find danger anywhere and we were all afraid that when we left she would find worse things than vampires. And suddenly, Alice's visions went blank. Like she didn't exist. No one was sure what it meant exactly. Did it mean that she wasn't alright? Or that she was suddenly immune to Alice's power, like she had been to mine? It frightened me to not know. So much that I had traveled back to Forks, to check on her.

But she wasn't here, and hadn't been for a while. Her scent was fading, even near the Swan house. But Charlie still lived there, had she gone back home then? To live with her mother? Maybe my absence had driven her away, to Florida. Was it that bad? Maybe she really wasn't alright, without me. Could it have been as bad for her as it was for me? I hoped not, it was pure agony. And yet, part of me still hoped that it hurt, because she loved me. it was wrong to think, but it seemed I only did what was wrong when it came to her.

It was raining, as always, and it seemed that the sky willingly shed the tears that I was unable to produce. The darkened sky matched my mood and if I had one, my soul.

Soul, the very concept that prevented me from staying with her. I didn't want to stain her soul with sin. Her purity would be forever altered. Not that she wouldn't still be pure, beautiful, and Angelic in my eyes, but in her own eyes, she would become a monster, and so would I. I would be the monster that took everything from her, and made her one too. She would hate me, I knew that.

It was impossible for her to stay with me for eternity. I could have easily stayed with her, and she was everything to me. But she would grow tired, and hatred would replace all the emotions she ever held for me. And I wasn't worth it. She could never be happy with me. And even though I could admit it, I still wanted to believe so badly that I was what was best for her.

**

* * *

**

A/N: i noticed that people stopped reviewing & i dont know if that means that you dont like it or what .. so i tried 2 switch it up a bit with Edwards POV. so u guys & girls wouldnt be bored and would be happy with me and my story. review for me so i know if i should bother continuing, plz. thx. much love.

**-Dark M Press **


	21. STEVENz STORY

_**IMPRINT; THE ART OF FINDING YOUR OTHER HALF …**_

_Steven's Story_

Jacob and I spent the night wrapped in each other's arms. Jacob slept, but not well, his forehead was creased with worry and I new that he was being plagued by horrible nightmares. I didn't sleep much. I had a lot on my mind, I thought about Edward a little. I tried not to think of him too much, it stung. But I had to wonder what he had come back for. I also had a fear that if I were to close my eyes for too long, I would open them and Jacob would be gone, which stung a whole lot worse than thinking of Edward.

It wasn't that I didn't trust Jacob not to leave me, more like I didn't trust myself to have not dreamed up this whole thing. After all, I did go at least half crazy during the months I spent zombified, separated from Edward. Awaiting his return. Or waiting for the pain to stop. I wasn't sure why I had stayed in Forks. Maybe it was because deep down I knew that there was something there waiting for me, my Fate was tied to Jacobs and we needed each other, so I didn't leave. Although it might have been easier to not think about Edward in Florida or anywhere else that wasn't Forks, I couldn't bring myself to leave, and as I held Jacob through the night, I was very glad that I had stayed. At least long enough to leave, with Jacob by my side. Our hearts attached.

It made me wonder if I had the justification to be mad at Edward. After all, Jacob and I would have never been together like this, if Edward had stayed. So did I owe him a thank you? That would go well, I was sure. Sarcasm. _'Thank you so much for playing with my emotions and breaking my heart, so Jacob had the chance to fix it, and I had the chance to realize that I deserve better than you and you __**suck!**__'_

Jacob would probably appreciate it to an extent; he'd feel bad about my pain, but good about Edward getting what he deserved. Too bad it wasn't something that I would ever say. After all, when was the next time I was actually going to see Edward Cullen? **Never**. I had Jake and I was not running after that vampire. And considering that he had left me, I knew he wasn't running after me either. So there was no reason to think about him any longer. It was over. I had Jacob, securely in my arms, my lips lightly pressed up against his bare chest. Oh yeah, this was the life.

I sighed, content.

I was so happy to have Jacob, he meant more to me than anyone else, and even though we wouldn't have eternity, our love was _so_ beautiful, _so_ right, and it was _so_ worth it. We wouldn't live forever, but we would still live for each other.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

Steven came over for breakfast, before Jacob went to work. I didn't mind cooking extra for him, I liked Steven, he was sweet. Reminded me a lot of Jacob, with his carefree nature. And he was very fun and easy to Talk to. And clearly kind. Well, didn't I know who I wanted to baby sit my child? Yeah I did. If he was interested, I very much wanted him to consider being Godfather, or favorite uncle, whatever, just be involved. Even though I didn't know very much about him, I could see how he interacted with Jacob and I, he was a nice person. Steven and Jacob were the nicest people I knew, outside of family.

That was why, as Jacob left for work, after breakfast and kissing me goodbye sweetly, I didn't mind that Steven lingered in the doorway and asked if he could spend time with me today.

"So I don't have to sit at home bored" was Stevens's answer, after I looked at him questionably. He knew that I was wondering how entertaining sitting at home with me while I cook and clean and sit on the couch to watch T.V could be.

I would have believed that he really just didn't want to go home (his face was smooth with no hint of a lie) if I hadn't noticed Jacob giving him a pointed look. A shared secret, _clearly_. And I was sure that at some point, in a secretive way, Jacob had asked him to stay with me today. But I didn't mind, much. Whatever his fear was; that I would run off while he was away, or that I would break down, or anything else, I would hang out with Steven so Jacob would realize that he was being silly. I'd behave, instead of starting a fight over not needing a babysitter, which almost did. But I vowed to make Jacob happy, so I would let Steven stay.

I walked over to join Steven on the couch and to take my television remote from him. In the one second it took me to say by to Jacob and tell him to have a good day, Steven had changed the T.V to the sports network. Honestly, no. I wasn't much for sports. The most interested I ever was in sports was the Cullen's playing baseball. I winced, but surprisingly it was only out of habit. It didn't hurt to think of them. That was good. No, it was excellent. Jacob was so perfect. _Okay_, I was sure now, I couldn't possibly be mad at him and Charlie, they had been right in sending me away secretly.

As I changed the channel back to the movie I had been watching, I turned to face Steven.

I smirked.

"Jacob asked you to baby sit did he?"

Steven looked up at me between the hair that had fallen over his eyes, too innocently, and smiled softly.

"Of course not"

"Then why are you here? Hanging around with a pregnant lady that does next to nothing all day like I do, can't be much more fun than sitting at home. And at least there you can watch what you want on T.V" I said, as I waved the remote teasingly. He sighed. He knew that he'd have to tell me, or I would keep pressing. Wahoo, I won! Okay that's enough of that. I looked at him, waiting for an explanation

"Jake didn't ask me to _baby sit _exactly. More like, make sure you had everything you needed. He wanted me to take care of you. He was looking out for you. He worries about you, constantly. I don't think you understand. He's imprinted. That's deep. Its heartbreaking what your pain does to him. I've seen it; it isn't pretty. You pain and unhappiness is agony for him. He loves you very much. His life is, very literally, for you."

That broke my heart. I hadn't realized the full extent of emotional damage I could be causing Jacob. I always knew that his pain was my pain, and it didn't occur that my pain was his pain. Ouch. I was very sorry, but …

"I'm happy. I don't understand" I understood that I was causing him pain with my pain, but I wasn't in pain anymore.

"Your still stressed. He sees it, _feels_ it. He knows you love him, but he knows you still love your old boyfriend. It hurts him. He deals with it though, for you. Because he's so very much in love with you."

"I love him to death, way more than my old boyfriend. Doesn't he understand that? If I didn't I would not have run off with him, and If I had, I wouldn't have stayed after I found out that my old boyfriend was back. I'm happy, really happy." It was kind of weird to be having this conversation with Steven instead of Jacob. But, I knew instantly why I wasn't having this conversation with Jacob; he was too worried that it would stress me out if he told me that he was hurting.

"Hmmm" that was all I could get out, I was in deep thought, so was Steven, but I doubted that it was over the same thing that I was thinking.

I turned back to my movie. It was interesting. **The Order**. Something about a sin eater, and a man and a woman in love. He gives up his priest hood to be with her, even though she tried to kill him once. And was sent away for it, then broke out and he hid her from authorities. It seemed strange.

"Why would you be with someone who came so close to killing you?" I asked out loud. Steven and I flinched at the same time. I realized at the very moment I said it; I had done that very thing with Edward. He was very close to killing me, all the time. Its funny how now I realized just how unhealthy he really was. But I didn't understand Stevens Pain. I looked at him curiously, half expecting a story, and half making sure that he was all right.

He looked down for a moment. I didn't think that he was going to tell me what was wrong. But after a little bit longer, he whispered.

"I Imprinted. On a girl named Elana, she had been my girlfriend for years. I loved her. Even without the imprint, I knew she was the one." He paused. Remembering, I guessed. It was clear that he loved her. His voice had a tone of adoration to it. It was sweet. It sounded a lot like how I spoke of Jacob, no wonder everyone thought that we were dating.

He continued, "The only thing that changed, when I did, was that I could tell her, everything. About me, the pack. I wasn't surprised when she said she loved me anyway. Wolf or not. But I didn't have control, not like Jacob. And I did almost kill her. I phased, and she was much too close. I-I-I bit her."

He stuttered. I could see it was hard. And I put my hand on his, for comfort. I was about to tell him that he didn't have to continue, that it was none of my business. But he started again before I had the chance to speak.

"I almost took her arm off. It was bad. I felt _horrible_. I would have thrown myself under a bus, just to make her feel better. She assured me it was okay. That she still wanted to be with me, that she still loved me. But I couldn't be near her. She didn't deserve a monster. She was much too sweet. She was very kind. Always smiled. And she fell in love with me, which was such a mistake. But she refused to stay away from me. I ran from her. Much like Jacob, who ran from you. For Protection. Of course it didn't work. She would call or come by. She would say things like 'if you love me so much, you'll be here when I need you' which made trying to leave her so much harder. And one day, after weeks of her refusing to leave, she followed us. The entire pack. We were going into the woods, to fight vampires. A cult of human drinkers that we needed away from our land. And she, _stupidly_, tried to save _me._ She jumped in front of one of them that was going strait for my throat, and he-he got her. As soon as he realized what he did, he ran. Coward. And I was in too much pain to follow him. I wanted to kill him, I really did. But I couldn't leave her, she was screaming; 'Steven, it burns, help me!' and I knew that there was only one-way to help her. I had to, end her life. Before she turned into a vampire. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. That's when I left the pack too. Moved up here. I couldn't stand to be near them. It hurt much too bad. I tried to kill myself once too. Werewolves heal to fast to effectively slit their own throats, and as soon as it healed I realized how much that would have hurt Elana, if she knew. Then her death would be in vain, because she was trying to save me. So I lived, but I left. That was like, 50 years ago though, I'm better now, not completely. It still hurts, a lot, but it's easier to deal with now. I love her very much. It hurts to think of the one you love in pain. I was no good for her, I warned her! I did. And she died for me. _Because_ of me, because of what I am."

My heart broke for Steven, and his imprint, Elana. His other half, his soul mate. That he had lost, and blamed himself for. I hugged him, I didn't know what else to do, and I knew that nothing I could say would make him feel better. He sobbed into my solider. And I cried too. It was very emotional. It hurt, and somehow it brought us closer.

Stevens staying home with me made sense now. He knew of the bond between a wolf and him soul mate. And he wanted Jacob to be happy, because he couldn't be. That was very selfless, and very sweet. Yes, Steven was defiantly the kindest person I knew.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

"I need more whipped cream, this is ridiculous" Steven stated. I laughed. He was hilarious. He must have gone through like two cans by now. What amazed me though, he would not be sick after all that. I would have been throwing up by now.

We were currently sitting in '**D**_**ave's**_' a little diner on the corner of our street. It served food and ice cream, which I though was a good way to cheer Steven up. It seemed to work. He was sugar high and seemed to be back to his old, carefree self. But the amount of whipped cream he has just consumed was ridiculous.

"They are going to throw us out, you'll eat them out of a years worth of whipped cream, in an hour!" I laughed again.

Steven didn't find it as amusing as I did. Uh oh. Stevens smile faded. He glared at me from across the table. I was worried about what I had done wrong, until he threw a spoonful of whipped cream at me. His smile returned. And then it was on. Yes, we wouldn't be able to come to Dave's ever again, but we had an ice cream fight. That was so fun and very worth being kicked out.

We walked back to my apartment, laughing like crazy, as I tripped up the street; I couldn't see where I was going, because there were tears in my eyes, from laughing so hard.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

Jacob couldn't keep from laughing when we walked into the apartment. We looked so stupid. Ice cream, sprinkles and everything else were currently all over our faces and in our hair. He couldn't even stop laughing long enough to ask what the hell happened. I wished that he had been there for it; he would have enjoyed an ice cream fight. And because I am a nice person like that, I jumped into his arms and whipped the ice cream from my face to his. You know, so he wouldn't feel left out and would be part of the fun. He kissed my ice cream covered face, and licked my lips. We laughed. And he threatened to get me back for covering his clothes and face in ice cream.

That was when he and Steven, who of course was on Jacobs's side, despite spending the day with me, proceeded to tickle me half to death. I tried to run, and I was tackled unto the couch. Which would need cleaning after this, the three of us were covered in ice cream. I laughed, and kicked and tried to get them off of me. Screaming

"Steven! All the time we spent together?!' and ' Jacob, I love you!" they didn't listen. They laughed harder. It was tickle torture to the fullest. Ha, it was fun though.

I'm not sure how I got them off of me. But at some point, we all ended up in the bathroom, trying to clean the ice cream off. We didn't want to be sticky. But we didn't feel like showering. It worked. Yay for bathes in the sink. We were not _clean_ but the ice cream was gone. That was enough for now. We would shower later.

We ended up in front of the T.V. watching God knows what. I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking of Jacob, who's lap I was currently on. I was going to talk to him about everything that Steven said. He had to know that I loved him. If he didn't get it now, he would get it later. I would explain it to him, the way I meant to that night in the hotel room. When I first told him that I needed him.

But it would have to wait, for now I would enjoy this mindless movie with my two favorite Wolf Boys, Steven and Jacob. It was strange. We were like family. I loved it. I kissed Jacobs cheek and went back to staring at the T.V. oh yes, I was happy. And nothing was going to ruin that. I wouldn't let it.

* * *

**A/N : okay so that was long. i think the longest chap. in this story. and i think that it was interesting, so u needah review, so i can update faster. Edward comes back soon, and starts Trouble. and ill tell you right now, a fight is comming up, and some1 might have to die. oh no. but u wont kno who, unless you review. that kindah rymed. **

**so, Elana is actually one of my best friends. her picture is on my profile. sry i had 2 kill you off babygirl :)**

**and i put lots of dialouge in there bcuz some1 sed that there wansnt enough so thats for u reviewer who sed that. :)**

**AND READ MY STORY 'REAL MONSTERS', CUZ ITS KOOL. LIKE ME. AND ANYONE WHO READ IT WILL BECOME COOL TOO. MAYBE NOT. ID ONT KNOW. HAHAHA. & REVIEW THAT TOO. K THX BYE. :p**


	22. RIDICILOUS

_**Please Believe Me When I Say I'm Yours, Forever …**_

_ridiculous_

The sun shined through the window, waking me up. I woke up and the first thing I noticed is that it was hot and I was covered in sweat. It was literally dripping off of my skin. Gross. I realized at once that we had fallen asleep on the couch. All three of us. Jacob, Steven, and I, on one couch. My head rested lightly on Jacobs lap, my legs were spread over Stevens. And that was the exact reason that I was so hot; I was between two werewolves, the kind that had abnormally high body temperatures. And I was hot, very hot.

I didn't remember falling asleep, I couldn't really remember much from the previous night. I remember an ice cream fight, and a tickle fight. And I remembered attempting to watch a movie. What that movie was, I couldn't tell you. I could barely remember even glancing at the screen once. I think that I was too distracted. I remember thinking about Jacob, and everything that Steven had told me about him yesterday, about imprinting and the pain I was causing him, Stressing myself out. I knew that today would be the day that I told him exactly how I felt. Everything that I had meant to say in the hotel room. It seemed so very long ago. But I had to, he had to understand and stop being stupid. Later.

As for now, I had to take a shower. I was beyond filthy. After all the sweat and ice cream that was never properly taken off of my skin or out of my hair. I had slept in my clothes and everything. I got up and stretched, my neck was stiff, from sleeping on Jacobs lap. I could only imagine how those two would feel when they got off of the couch. Poor things. I felt bad because I knew they would be in so much pain. They had both fallen asleep sitting up. I decided that when I finished showering, I would make them a nice breakfast. They wouldn't be up 'till later anyway, I was pretty sure it was still very, very early. But I had gotten a nice sleep and wasn't the slightest bit tired.

My skin tingled as the hot water caressed it. It felt so good to be clean. Soap and shampoo were my very best friends right now. It felt great. Calming. I sighed when the water began to run cold. I had to get out of the shower, boo on that. I considered staying in there anyway but I reminded myself that I needed to make breakfast for my wolf-boys, so I wrapped my towel around myself and stepped out of the shower.

I dressed simply in a t-shirt and jeans. I left my hair wet, but in a low ponytail, it would curl as it dried and I was okay with that. Even though I felt the water drip on my hair, soaking the back of my shirt as I walked to the kitchen to prepare my feast, which I was very exited for. I had never cooked so much in one sitting and I was sure I would enjoy it. Especially after the boys ate and I got their reactions. Which would, of course, be positive. It better be. They had better be _**so **_grateful. There was no way that I was always going to make breakfast like this all the time; Toast, omelet's, sausage, pancakes _**and**_ waffles eventually covered the kitchen table completely. And I was very proud of myself.

I was in the middle of mentally patting myself on the back and simultaneously poring orange juice into three glasses, when the boys walked in, smelling of mint. They had brushed their teeth, of that I was sure, but I didn't know if they had showered. It didn't matter. Jacob never did smell bad, he always smelled like outside, fresh. I liked it, a lot.

Jacob walked over and kissed my lips, passionately. Hard. Rough. Yet, very sweet. I could taste the mint on his lips, it made me happy. And Steven had a bright "Hello Bella!" and a high five waiting for me when Jacob and I broke apart. I smiled and replied with an enthusiastic "hey Steven" while high-fiving him. I felt like we had been best friends for the longest time.

We all sat down at the table. Jacob sat next to me, Steven sat across from us. I noticed they both smiled hugely as they piled their plates with the food I had made. I simply took a few pancakes, not like the boys, who took everything. Jacob kissed my cheek adoringly and whispered "thank you for everything" into my ear. Something told me that he didn't just mean breakfast, and I smiled and told him that he was very welcome.

"how did you guys sleep?" I asked as I watched them shovel food happily into their mouths. I smiled, it was so very amusing how they were always hungry. They were huge, but did not look nearly big enough to eat so much.

"I was a bit stiff but nothing I can't handle" Steven said, cracking his neck for emphasis. "Wow, tough guy" I laughed. He playfully glared at me.

"yeah, I slept just fine. I'm sure you did too, taking up all of the couch the way you did" Jacob laughed, continuing with the jokes. I smiled hugely at him.

"its okay I learned my lesson, I was way too hot when I woke up. Never again am I sleeping between two wolves" we laughed. And Jacob looked at me and smirked, in a very sexy way I might add. I'm not sure if I wanted to know what he was thinking.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I hugged Steven tightly, very grateful for yesterday and this morning. I had officially been with him for 24 hours and it was so fun. I was kind of sad that he was leaving, but he lived so close and would be back, I was sure. Jacob hugged him too, it was just as tight as mine and Stevens hug had been, if not tighter.

Jacob sighed as he closed the door behind his cousin. Tuning to face me, grinning widely.

"Finally" was all he said, as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waste, kissing my head which I rested on his chest, content, as I folded my arms around him too. It felt so good to be in his warm embrace. Not unbearably hot, like it had been sleeping across him and Steven. I looked into his eyes, they were bright, deep, and a beautiful brown. He was smiling as he looked down at me, into my eyes. My soul. He was happy to have me in his arms, just as I was happy to be there.

"I don't have to go to work today" Jacob said happily. I smiled up at him.

"Good, then I have all day to do this" I said as I Leaned in to kiss those perfect full lips of his that I loved oh-so-much. He smiled against my lips and hugged me tighter, letting me know that he had absolutely no problem with me having all day to kiss him.

Jacob spent a great part of the day touching me. Half of it Kissing me, and the other half holding and hugging. He kissed my lips often, but kissed my stomach more. He spoke as well, everything from 'I'm your daddy' to 'I love your mommy very much, and I love you too' He held me tight for a long time, like he was afraid that I would disappear if he let me go, even a little bit. I tried to silently reassure him that I wasn't going anywhere but hugging him back tightly.

There was little talking throughout the day. What was said was mostly 'I love you' followed by things like 'forever' or 'always' and 'we belong together' or 'you are my better half' lots of that . a lot of it was from Jacob, even though I was suppose to be the one reassuring HIM. I don't think he minded in the slightest though.

I sighed as the sun begin to set. We had barely moved all day. We were on the couch. The TV was on but neither one of us was watching it. We looked into each others eyes a lot. And there were times when Jacob would stare off, he was thinking I was sure. I didn't ask what he was thinking about though, because I was pretty sure that I knew the answer. He was still hurting, as Steven had said before, because of me. I watched Jacobs face every time he stared off, he brows would crease. I wasn't sure if it was in concentration, agony, or anger. I would have to tell him, everything, now. This was getting ridiculous.

I grabbed Jacobs hand, and led him to the bedroom. He looked confused, as I hadn't offered an explanation. But he followed silently behind me. We sat on the bed, facing each other. I couldn't read his eyes, he looked worried, I think. I hesitated. I was nervous. It isn't everyday you confess all your secrets a.k.a undying love for someone. "Jake, Steven told me something yesterday, about you." I bit my lip, watching his reaction. He raised his eyebrows. "What did Steven say?" he asked slowly, like he was being careful. Choosing his words. Controlling his anger?

"He said a lot of things actually, he told me about a girl named Elana. Their story. What happened to her and to him." I looked down, sad. Mourning for the girl I never knew, but missed terribly. On behalf of Steven. He deserved to be happy too. I looked up at Jacob, he wasn't pleased.

"he should not be telling you stories like that" was all he said. I sighed. This would be even more difficult if we got into a fight. So I decided to just continue, as if he hadn't spoken.

"He explained about imprinting. Sort of. And he told me, well, that you were kind of upset with me. That I was hurting you, when I never had any intention to do so." I frowned, disappointed in myself.

He placed his finger under my chin, he made me look into his eyes, they were burning, like midnight fire. I gasped. It was intense.

"I could _**never**_ be upset with you, why do you think that?" His voice was too low to tell if he was angry or surprised. It was barely above a whisper.

"Steven had said that, you were, upset, because you thought I stilled loved Edward. And I just thought that I never really did tell you everything about that. So I'm going to do it now. So that you will understand that I only want you."

He Touched my face, softly. His warm hand comforting me. He looked at me expectantly, he wanted me to continue. _Now or never _I told myself. I took a deep breath and began.

"At first I was so frightened to get close to you. Because well obviously, it had hurt so much when Edward left, that I didn't want to go through it again. Ever. I knew that I wouldn't be able to take you leaving me too. I thought that once you realized you didn't really feel for me as you thought you did, you'd leave, just like Edward. So I told myself not to get so close to you, attached. Not to notice how we fit perfectly together, like a puzzle. Or how you always knew just what to say, and what I was thinking. How I was feeling. Not to notice that our hearts beat in the same rhythm. I especially told myself not to think about how you made me feel; exhilaratingly scared. And frighteningly understood. And brand new. Like, I didn't have to be so cautious, you made me feel like it was okay to have fun. Taught me that I didn't have to dwell on the past forever. I knew that, if I would just let you in, that you could fix me. And I was so very afraid that I was just using you to get over Edward. Or worse, that you would think that was what I was doing and refuse me. And then I realized, as you should now, it hardly had anything to do with him. And everything to do with me, becoming a new person, following my destiny. And with you helping me figure that out. And I meant to let you know, after I had finally admitted it to myself, that I _needed_ you, and that I _wasn't _settling. That I didn't just love you because Edward wasn't coming back. But because you made me whole, and new. And so _**happy. **_and then the pain dulled, the whole in my chest that was left behind from Edward was closing. And it was because of you. You filled a void. One that I realized had even been there when I was with Edward. And then one day I realized that loosing you hurt so much more than it did when I had lost Edward. And I realized that he wasn't healthy. He wasn't right for me, like you are. He was like a drug, addictive, _dangerous. _Your more like fresh air, my sun. and I love you, only you. And I need you to get that. And stop worrying that I'll disappear or change my mine or run back to Edward. Because nowhere is the right for me if you are not there too. I need you, I love you. And I will _**never**_ let you go Jake. We're together, and we're going to have a baby, and get married. And be so happy. Don't let my past come between that, please."

I had to kiss him. Just like I did after the rest of my rants. But this on, explained everything. He had to have understood now. I loved him, for eternity, there was no letting go, turning back. We were meant to be I could feel it. I knew he could too.

"Bella" He Breathed. My words had touched him and he was speechless. "I-I-I can't even imagine what it much have been like for you. Being left, and finding another, and then fearing that he, too, would leave you. I never meant for you to feel that way. And then to have me deny everything you've gone through, to love me. How far you've come. I'm an asshole, I'm really sorry. I don't deserve you Bella." that's what he said. All he said. It pissed me off.

"No Jake, I should be the one apologizing. Instead of explaining everything to you, like I should have, I let you think that I wanted to be with Edward or something."

I had assumed that he knew how I felt. But I realized, now, that he was insecure, and he loved me so much, that it was very painful for me to love another man, and still be with me. He was strong, but very stupid.

"I never want you to doubt my love for you again" I scolded him.

"Okay" he said sadly. I had won. I hoped this would be the end. I could swear that we decided never to doubt each others love. Ugh, stupid Jacob. We had this conversation before not in so much debt, but enough for him to get it. He had to know, he was the one I wanted. And even if Edward showed back up, begging me to take him back, I would turn, and walk away. With Jacob is where I belonged. Forever.

We lay down shortly after that. It wasn't bed time, but we were tired, emotionally. He held me all through the night, whispering 'I love you', and 'I'm sorry.' I whispered the same. he kissed me a lot. Stroked my hair. I snuggled up into his neck, and stayed there. He would have to understand that I wasn't going anywhere. And if I had to stay in his arms for the rest of eternity for him to get it, I would.

* * *

_** A/N That You Should Read.**_

_**Okay i Suck At Life, Editing, && UpDating on time, sry. i hope u still love me && This Story. But I'm Pretty Good At Dialougue, now. after some1 sed there wasnt enough. i think this chap came out okay, its nice && long. did it piss u off or did you like it ? Review && Tell Me All About it. then ill update faster, cuz ill have motivation !**_

_Edward comes back soon, stirring up some trouble. there is an epic battle,maybe. someone might have to die. && Another imprint for Steven ?!?!?! _

_**review for me && Ill love you forever. **_

_**haha**_

_**xoxo Dark M Press.**_


	23. authors notedont kill me

Okaii, so I've gotten about 1 million messages slash reviews askin' if I'm gonna update. What had happen was .. I need sometime. Between major writters block and school I cant keep up with 'from here to eternity' right now. don't kill me. I will come back at some point. Wait for me ? we'll be best friends.

- with lots of love and regret,

DARKMPRESS.


	24. CALL ME

_**YOU'VE BECOME MY ADDICTION...**_

Call Me.

I was _fat_. Extremely. And I was upset about it. Not that I had ever really been a vain person but this was nearly out of hand. I wasn't happy being so ultra-prego. This baby would have to come out and soon, or I was going to lose it. My 5 foot 4 inch frame wouldn't be able to take much more weight, anyway. Honestly, I expected to gain a little weight but over 25 pounds in like a month was too much and knowing that was not going to be the end of it, I was getting angry. Jacob had attempted to drag me away from the bedroom mirror like 5 times. Assuring me that I was still the most beautiful girl in the whole world and that in a few more months all the weight would be gone and our family would be complete. I wouldn't listen. I couldn't hear him over the sound of my fat thighs rubbing against each other! He ended up giving up and going to work, eventually. I mean, he still thought I was beautiful and all, probably even more than he had thought before. That was always good. However, I too would like to at least think that I was alright looking. As opposed to the hideous fat monster I was turning into. I love my son-to-be, dearly, but he was ruining mommy's self esteem and would definitely hear about the terror he caused for the rest of his life. And there better be only one of him in there. I swore silently that I would knock Jacob unconscious if he had given me twins. Not that I wouldn't absolutely love them more than life itself but come on, we were not really in such a good situation to be having one. I was happy, but still our baby had bad timing.

At some point, and I'm not sure when, I decided that of all the things that could possibly go wrong with a pregnancy, a little weight wasn't _so_ bad. I mean it's not like our baby was unhealthy or I was unhealthy. We were both fine, I was just a little thicker than I would have liked to be. I was annoyed but it would be okay. Our son still wouldn't hear the end of it, but I did leave the mirror at least. And I decided to clean to take my mind off of my weight. I cleaned the whole house. From the kitchen to our bedroom. I wore a mask, as I was sure the chemicals were not good to ingest even though they were said to be 'natural' and 'not harmful.' I was going green and simultaneously protecting myself and my offspring. I was proud of myself when I had finished. And I knew Jacob would appreciate it.

And after a whole three hours of nonstop cleaning, I was bored again. So I did what I should have done forever ago, I called my dad. I had decided that I would tell him that I was pregnant and had every intention to marry Jacob. I told myself that I had decided to tell him so he wouldn't be surprised if and when we returned to Folks. I admitted later on to myself that I had an ulterior motive; I wanted him to be angry with us. That would teach him to tell Jacob to run away with me and not tell me too, because he wanted me away from Edward. Who, of course was no good for me anyway, so it was in my best interest. And who is to say for sure that I would not have gone back to him, had he beckoned me. But still, Charlie was wrong to keep that from me, and I wanted him to be sorry. This, I knew, wasn't nice. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I realized that someone this immature shouldn't have children of their own. But it was too late for that. I was sure I would be a good mommy, though. And Jacob, of course, would be a good daddy.

Charlie didn't answer. That was a good thing because I wasn't sure anymore if I was ready for him to know. Even though not telling him would look like I was ashamed. I wasn't. Not even a little bit. I was proud to be with Jacob and having his baby. Although, I wished for less 'baby weight.' Since Charlie didn't answer my call I decided that it was a sign I shouldn't be talking to him right now and with that, I went back to the mirror.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

Jacob came home shortly after that. It was a slow day and they let him out early. Yay for me! I loved being with him and was honestly sad every time he walked away. I jumped into his arms, enthusiastically. Jacob had an even more enthusiastic

"I love you!" waiting for me with his laughter that I adored and kisses too. He held me for a long time. I told him

"I love you, Jake" and I kissed him all over. I was excited to see him, I had been bored all day long.

"I thought about getting a job, today" I told him, after we were done acting like we hadn't seen each other in years.

"And why would you need one?" he asked immediately. He looked hurt and I hoped he didn't think that I meant it as an insult. Like he couldn't take care of us, by himself.

"I was bored all day long" I answered, frowning. The hurt look left his face and he looked extra excited. I would be lying if I said his sudden change in emotions didn't make me think he has A.D.D. he picked up a bad full of God knows what, that I never noticed he had. I'm sure he walked in with it, but I am apparently oblivious and didn't see. I got excited too. I used to hate presents, but with Jacob it was different. I knew, unlike Edward, Jacob did not spend obscene amounts of money and put no thought into his gifts. The bag was full of books. Not just any books, they were the exact books I kept in my room at Forks, that I had left behind. It was as if he knew I had been bored all day or something and had stalked my bookshelf. I was grateful for his secret mind reading power; it made me love him just a little bit more.

"Thank you!" I screamed, hugging him. He beamed, proud of himself no doubt. Conceited. But that was fine; it was a very thoughtful and perfectly timed gift.

Jacob took care of dinner, so that I could read. Again, super thoughtful. It smelled great and when he called my name I thought that it meant dinner was ready. Jacob was making pasta and I was excited. But then he yelled

"Forks is calling" and I knew it was Charlie _finally _calling me back after so many hours passing between when I had called him and apparently when he had gotten home. I was even more excited to speak with my father than I had been for Jacob's pasta and I must say I was rather disappointed when I picked up the phone and said "hi dad" enthusiastically and a very familiar voice breathed back

"Bella, I've missed you." For the record, the voice didn't sound enthusiastic at all and if I hadn't known better I would have said it sounded anguished and relieved all at once.

I lost my appetite when I realized that it was no other Edward Cullen calling me. I froze. Jacob didn't notice. He, like I, had assumed it was Charlie, as I had told him that I had called and was expecting a call back. He wasn't paying attention to what I was doing because for one, it was none of his business and two, he was focusing on dinner. His back was turned as he stirred the pasta sauce that was cooking on the stove. I was at a loss for words and it took me forever to answer.

"who is this?" I played dumb. Jacob Turned then, wondering who I was talking to if it wasn't Charlie. He was apparently paying more attention than I thought. I looked at him slightly horrified, waiting for his anger when he realized to whom I was speaking. Realization dawned on him and he looked angry, but not nearly as angry as I had been expecting. He looked more concerned.

"it hurts like you wouldn't believe to be away from you" he said. I didn't know how I should answer that so I stayed silent. I wasn't sure at first how I felt about Edward calling me. Curious, I decided was how I felt. I wanted to know exactly what he wanted and how he got my number in the first place.

"How did you get this number, Edward?" was the only thing I could bring myself to say. In all fairness I could have hung up, but I wanted to know what this was about and I wouldn't rest until I knew.

"I read it from Charlie's thoughts; he intends to call you, later." As soon as he said that I realized it was what I knew all along. He was stalking my house. How else could he have gotten this number? Only Charlie and Steven had it.

"What do you want with me exactly and why are you keeping tabs on Charlie, that's more than a little creepy." Jacob came over to me, and put his arms around me. It was certainly a surprise that he didn't try to remove the phone from my hands because I knew he was angry, as I could feel his muscles tensing as he held me.

"Bella …" now, _he_ was at a loss for words and I was glad. I knew, without looking, that Jacob was smirking in the cute way he does when he has won and is overjoyed. I kissed him, while I was still on the phone with Edward. I think he heard it too, as he was silent for a while.

"Please come back to me?" He begged after a long pause. I almost felt sorry for him. _Almost._

"You left me, not the other way around, may I remind you" I scolded him.

"Bella, I was a fool to have let you go and I know that you have run off with that Jacob child, but I need you. More than I ever thought it possible to need another person. You are my life and I have nothing to live for without you here" I had to admit it took me by surprise. But I didn't let it get to me. For all I knew he was just bored again and couldn't find another human to toy with. He was upsetting me and Jacob wasn't the only one with tensing muscles.

"Why would you bother calling when you told me you didn't want me?" that was a question that had been burning on my lips since I first realized that it was Edward on the other line of the phone. Honestly, hadn't he promised to go away and never to return?

"To protect you" Was all he said. It brought me back to such a long time ago. A time where the Cullen's were my family and jasper had no self control. That was no long ago I had almost forgotten. And Edwards leaving all mad sense. And that's when I really got pissed off. You would think, being over one hundred years old he wouldn't be so damn _dense_.

"Jacob is NO child, he is more of a man than you are. He is no coward and doesn't run away like one. So he doesn't have to face himself" I added. "you're afraid of yourself so you expected me to be scared too. And I wasn't I loved you. And I never believed, until now, that you were a soulless monster." And if he were telling the truth about missing me, then that must have hurt him. Good.

"You're absolutely right, Bella. I don't deserve your love or your forgiveness. But what can Jacob possibly offer you that I cannot?" he asked. The answer was _everything_. But I decided that he should know exactly how I felt for Jacob. He was being a total ass trying to make me run to him, like some puppy, anyway. So I answered truthfully and I prayed my words would be like a knife through his dead heart.

"Jacob offers me warmth, security, honestly, friendship, equality, unconditional love, and a beautiful family. All the things I wanted to have with you that you could never give me even if you'd had the mind too" I knew, if nothing else that last part would hurt him. All the things he couldn't give me, with his non-human self. I was mad and I hoped he knew that his random phone call was a pain in the butt, but it would not ruin what I had with Jacob.

"I'm sorry. I should leave. But I want you to know my life, if that's what I have, is meaningless without you" he SO tried to guilt trip me.

"You should have thought about that before you abandoned me" was all I said before I hung up the phone.

Jacob hugged me tight for a long time. When he eventually let go, the sauce that he had been cooking was cold and the bottom was hardening. We ordered pizza and sat in front of the t.v all night. It was the first time in awhile that we acted like real teenagers, just hanging out. Jacob brought Edward back up, though.

"so…about what happened earlier, I'm sorry, Bella, I thought it was Charlie. And then I didn't know if I should take the phone or let you fight for yourself"

"I'm glad you didn't take the phone because Edward would have. He never let me decide anything. I know he is old but I'm not a child" I kissed Jacob. I liked the whole partnership thing we had going on.

"so you're really sure. You're really mine?" Jacob asked. I didn't honestly think it was a real question. But I answered anyway.

"Forever" and I snuggled into him as he held me close and I knew I was 'sure' and that I was 'really' Jacob's. I didn't want it any other way. And I knew he didn't, either.


	25. STUPID BELLA

_**I DON'T KNOW WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF BUT I KNOW WHAT THEY FEEL LIKE...**_

Stupid Bella

I had disappointed Charlie and I felt awful about it. He was fuming on the other side of the phone. I cannot lie, however. His reason for being angry with me was absolutely comical. Unlike my expectations, Charlie wasn't angry about the engagement to Jacob, he wasn't exactly happy about the pregnancy, though.

"At least it's with a boy I can trust to be there for you" was what he said. So I knew he would have rather had us wait to have children, but at least it wasn't Edward, right? Not that he could have children, anyway, because he is a vampire. Even if he could, I would much rather be with warm, loving, Jacob instead of a monster.

Charlie finally called be me back the next day while I had been reading to pass the time. Jacob was at work and I missed him even though we spent some time together in the morning; I made him what he said were the best omelets, ever. And he kissed my lips and my enormous pregnant stomach and said 'I love you both' before he left. It was nice, but it wasn't enough. I missed him. It was crazy how clingy I was but I knew he missed me just as much so I did not feel bad about it.

I was a little nervous to answer the phone when the caller I.D read 'Forks, WA' I thought maybe Edward was calling back. But I answered anyway. It occurred, later, that the number should have told me right away it was my own house. Stupid Bella. Anyway, I decided to just lay it on him real quick after of course asking how he was and telling him that I missed and loved him like crazy. There was no use in beating around the bush and prolonging the inevitable. He asked me how my life was and I told him that I had much to tell him and made him promise not to kill me.

"Dad" I hesitated. "Jake and I are going to have a baby, and get married. And I know it is really irresponsible and all, but I am not sorry. I love him. And before you get too mad, remember that you told him to kidnap me. And Jake is taking such good care of me so don't be angry with him" I exhaled after that. I had used one breath to say that entire thing. It was difficult but if I had paused I may have stopped. He waited a long time before he responded and I was certain he had a few swear words for Jacob and I. I was surprised when he said

"I have to admit, I'm extremely jealous that he is taking care of you and I am not. It's like you don't need me, starting a family of you own. But at least it is with a boy I can trust to be there for you" he sighed. He was angry, I could tell. Sad. And I knew right away that it was because he was so lonely. I felt bad. I promised him that in a few months once we were completely settled, and had our baby, we would be back in forks. He was excited about seeing me and meeting his grandson,

"Are you sure it's a boy?" I could hear the smile in his voice. I knew that the first thing he thought of was when he and Billy would take their grandson fishing. Typical. I sighed playfully.

"Yes, dad, We are" we knew because Jacob had told me the werewolf thing didn't affect female family members so this whole 'let's grow way too fast and make mommy really fat' complex the baby had going on right now made us sure it was a son.

"Have you been to the doctor yet?"

"Yes" I lied. For one I didn't want t be poked and prodded. Two, I didn't want to be looked at like another teenager who couldn't keep her legs closed. And three, I didn't want to have to explain why I was a month pregnant and it looked like 7.

I would make it a point to tell dad if he ever asked that I had been pregnant before we left and either didn't know or I didn't want to tell him. I was leaning more towards the latter because that seemed to be what would have happened if anything about this situation were normal. But hey maybe I would get lucky and he wouldn't ask. He would just assume. Then Charlie said something that caught me so off guard that I felt stupid for not bringing it up before

"Have you picked a name yet?" stupid Bella.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

You would think that the thoughtful Jacob Black would have _thought_ while he was at the book store that a baby book or two might be a good idea. I still love him but gosh, so dense. So I took my fat ass outside and trekked to the bookstore. It was warm outside, but I wore a sweater. It was comfortable because it was stretchy. I didn't feel so confined, now that I had gained weight. Even though it was the middle of the day, the street was busy. And I mean _busy_. And unlike in Forks no one paid any attention to anyone else. I was just fine with that. After Charlie had asked me about names it occurred that I never really put much thought into anything other than our family being complete. I needed to know basic things and my child's name. holy crow Jacob wasn't the only dense one. Again, stupid Bella.

After two name books and some others on what society considered 'good parenting' I was ready to leave the bookstore. I was excited to see that the woman behind the counter was pregnant too. Even more that me! I felt less ugly. We smiled at each other. It was like we shared a joke no one else got, us pregnant women. I was excited to go home and read all about babies!

Within my reading the grosses thing I found out was that new born babies had no knee caps. That was weird and sorry in advance little son of mine but I will touch you where your kneecaps should be until they develop. And if you don't like it consider it payback for what you've done to mommy. Considering even though I was only complaining about being fat I was also pretty sick. Not in the morning though, mostly at night. Because, I was sure, he knew I wanted to sleep. You little Brat! _I love you_.

Around 4 or so Jacob was back from work. I handed him a name book as soon as he walked in and He laughed at me. He flipped through it quickly. Not really reading anything his eyes scanned over, I was sure. Jacob Laughed some more when I handed him the 'parenting manual.' He didn't bother flipping through it. He put it on the couch and shook his head at me.

"Bella, please tell me you have not been obsessing over this. You know how bad you can get" wrapping me in his warm embrace, he smiled, letting me know he was joking. I kissed him and replied with a sly

"I'll show you how bad I can get" I winked at him. He followed me into the bedroom.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

My legs were wrapped around Jacob. His arms were wrapped around me. It was a good way to be. Skin to skin, nice and warm, and very in love. How could I have ever snuggled up to Edward? He was so cold and hard. Not just on the outside. He wasn't very loving; I think he was only ever intrigued with me. Not really in love. He didn't appreciate me, he just observed. Jacob did both. And I was so thankful for it, he had no idea. I kissed his chest adoringly and my lips tingled from the heat of his bare skin. I liked it. Jacob broke the comfortable silence we had been laying in for nearly an hour

"I'm glad you finally came to your senses and came to me. i love you, just so you know" I looked up at him, surprised. He just winked in response. He could read my mind, I was sure now.

"I'm glad too Jake, you have no idea" I answered. Kissing him some more. He held me tighter and kissed my head lovingly. Then, he laughed a little

"Really Bella, name books?" oh he thought he was SO cute. I pinched him playfully. He licked me in return.

"ugh, jack, gross!" I laughed. He was such a jerk! I loved it.

"so _anyway_" I said with a mock attitude. "what should we name him?" I asked. Jacob thought for a while.

"how about Alexander? I've always liked that name" I wrinkled my nose.

"you don't like it?"

"I like it as a name, but I don't think it goes with 'Black'" I answered truthfully. He blushed and smiled wide. At some point we were going to be the 'Black' family. So the last name would of course be the same.

"I like it because it means 'defender' so it fits his origin. He is one made to defend people. As descendant of my tribe."

"Well, what about 'Alec' it means protector. That fits a better. Even though, to me, it still doesn't go with our last name." I purposely threw 'our' in there. Jacob kissed me for it. I giggled so he continued.

It took us forever to stop arguing and pick a name. Play arguments. Not that it really had to be done today, but we were having fun. Going through the books and fitting names together. For now, we were settles on 'Alexander Iren Black' so together his name would mean 'defender of peace' and we knew we would raise him to live up to his name. With the middle name Alexander sounded much better. We were happy. So we called the one person we knew would celebrate with us right. Steven.

He brought non-alcoholic sparkling cider. To replace the wine none of us could have because we were all underage and I was pregnant.

"I'm mad you didn't name even think to name him after his favorite uncle?" Was the first thing Steven said when we told him the name we had picked. But he told us later that he liked it a lot and it was a very deep name. perfect he said.

"Well, Sam doesn't really fit that well with _our_ last name" Jacob replied playfully. Steven jumped on him. They laughed and wrestled to the couch. Jacob won. I laughed. They really looked like wolves at that moment. The played like cubs and it was adorable. When they finally helped each other up and came back to me Steven asked when the wedding would be and i knew it was because Jacob had said 'our last name'

"One crisis at a time" I replied, laughing. Jacob pouted playfully. Steven and I laughed.

We toasted to 'forever and happiness' and I was glad. Steven and Jacob touched their glasses to my stomach instead of my glass, simultaneously. I wasn't sure if they had planned it or if they were just equally stupid but we all broke out into loud, uncontrolled laughter.

We all eat a celebratory dinner of baked chicken with mash potatoes and green beans. Yes, a whole chicken for my wolf boys and like 4 boxes of mashed potatoes. It was good if I do say so myself. The chicken was seasoned expertly. So were the potatoes. I had no green beans. Yuck. Jacob and Steven had no problem eating what was left.

So then we went to the movies, because we were young and that was the only way we knew how to celebrate. We got huge buckets of popcorn that the boys devoured. I wouldn't let them touch my skittles or even look at them! I sipped my coke as the movie began and for the millionth time I was thankful that I had Jacob and that I was able to sit through a romance. It was cheesy. The boys, who had picked our movie might I add, made fun of it. I laughed when practically the whole theater turned around to shush them. That of course made them louder. Rebellious little things. I was so happy.

We went back to mine and Jacob's apartment when the movie was over. I let Steven drive my truck. I was surprised he didn't talk about the rough noises it made. My poor truck had been through too much. When we got back, we sat on the couch and I vowed silently not to fall asleep on this couch with them again because the last time I woke up so hot and sweaty I thought I was going to _die _of a heat stroke. So we stayed up until four in the morning, half of that time Steven spent rubbing my stomach and saying

"Hello in there, little Steven" he was SO funny.

Not.

Jacob played jealous, telling his cousin to 'keeps his hands off the merchandise' we laughed. Steven continued. So, in retaliation Jacob told me embarrassing stories of Steven. Like the time he tried to look attractive in front of a group of girls, trying to get out of his car all suave and had forgotten that his seat belt was on and ended up tangled in it, and on the ground outside of his car in front of the girls. Steven hag begged Jacob not to tell anyone. Ever.

Oh well. It was well worth it. We all got a good laugh and I assured Steven that I always had embarrassing moments like that and that I was surprised I had gone the whole day without finding _something _to trip over. I'm sure i made him feel better.

We spent the rest of the night in laughter. teasing each other and telling stories. Jacob playfully told an 'embarrasing' story about me.

"this one time, she dated a vampire!" he howled with laughter. As did Steven. clever.

"Bad dog" I answered, hitting him on the nose with my index finger. we all laughed. i pet his head, for effect. his hair was growing back, all spiky. i wondered briefly if he would cut it, again.

It had been a good day; I spoke to Charlie, hung out with Steven, named my son, and had Jacob. I had a good life and I appreciated it. I hoped things would stay this way. Maybe just _maybe_ my bad luck was finally over?

_**Stupid Bella.**_

_**

* * *

**_

A/N : do you think her bad luck is over ? heehee. review lets talk about it because i dont think it is.


	26. FORKS

_**MY HOME IS WHERE MY HEART IS ..**._

_Forks_

Rain was beating against my window, relentlessly. And that would be the annoying sound I was so privileged to wake up to today. However, had I known exactly what the day would bring I may have decided to just stay asleep. Sleeping was finally becoming enjoyable for me again. The nightmares, for the most part, were at a standstill. Feeling Jacob holding me at night brought great relief. I loved falling asleep, soaking up all one hundred and nine degrees of his warmth. It felt oh-so-much better than that cold granite that was Edwards vampire skin.

Occasionally, a nightmare would slip in; the one that occurred most was me running through what I could only assume was Forks. It was all tress, green _everywhere_. It was overwhelming and I was lost amongst the trees, while darkness would gradually consume the sunny sky that I had previously been enjoying. And even as a searched for an exit, I knew I wouldn't find one. Then, she would step through the trees; Victoria. In my dreams her hair was a glowing, vibrant, red that reminded me of blood. It was the only thing that really stood out in the darkness of the forest, besides her ice cold, hard, pale skin. She'd hiss and it was the same sound Edward would make whenever he was threatening someone. It ran chills through me; it was so animalistic and frightening. I would scream and no sound would come out. If I were lucky Jacob, my prince, would step through the trees, blocking her from me. However, on bad nights I would search for Jacob and he would never come.

Even with that nightmare occasionally plaguing my dreams, I was no longer afraid to go to sleep. And I loved waking up even more because my reality was far better than anything I could ever imagine. Let's face it, I'm not that creative. But even though I was sure I _couldn't_ dream up Jacob and the wonderful life we were starting together, I couldn't help but fear that I did make it up and he would disappear. Speaking of my dream come true, why wasn't he in the bed with me when I woke up? I frowned uncontrollably, disappointed. I loved waking up to him. Where was he?

I found him in the kitchen, talking in hushed tones into the phone. It made me not exactly _suspicious,_ but more than a little curious. It was an old reflex left over from having dated Edward; I automatically thought he was keeping something from me, because Edward could never really find it in himself to be completely honest with me. 'Protecting me' was what he called it and I was certain that was just so that he could make himself feel better about being an ass.

I waited patiently in the doorway for his conversation to come to an end. Jacob put the phone back on its recover before turning to face me. He turned around quickly, but was not at all surprised to see me there.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked, smiling, forgetting my curiosity for just a second.

"I heard you approach" he pointed to himself, while he explained "werewolf hearing"

I snickered. The way he mentioned it casually, like he wasn't tormented about it for such a long time, was comical to me. When he had first turned, he was absolutely miserable, now he sounded proud of himself.

"Who was that on the phone?" I asked. I was getting strait to the point. Mostly, I wanted to see if he would answer me. I was testing him. He didn't answer right away. Instead, he crossed our kitchen in one stride and embraced me, lovingly. He raised me, holding me up so that my feet were no long on the ground. He kissed my whole entire face before resting his gorgeous full lips on my own. I moaned, elated.

"Trying to distract me?" I asked, breathless. Would I ever get used to the power of his lips, his embrace? He smirked "no, Bella, I'm not. I just thought we needed a proper good morning before diving head first into serious matters"

That wiped the smile off my face, quickly. Serious matters? Even his kiss couldn't get my mind to stop racing. I looked up at him, not sure if I should be frightened or not.

"What serious matters?" I asked, breathless. This time my breath was whisked away by fear, instead of Jacobs passion inducing kisses. He sighed. I knew he would tell me, then.

"It's sort of complicated" he began, "and I don't want you getting worked up after I tell you" he said, warningly.

"I promise!" I said quickly, impatient. He hesitated for just a moment and I rolled my eyes, willing him to just hurry up so I could properly freak out.

"Well, it would seem that the red headed vampire is back, running just between the treaty lines and one of those vampires, the big burly one, and Paul almost got into it. Paul got a little defensive when it looked as if the big one would cross the line. And his mate, the blonde got all protective and it was pretty much a growling match until dr. fang calmed everything down. Don't worry, no one got hurt"

I imagined all of them, fighting. The people, well they were sort of people, I loved fighting with each other. I was still furious with Edward, but Emmett? He had never done anything but tease me a little. Okay, a lot. But it was all in good fun. He was like the older brother I always wanted. And I could imagine Rosalie: gorgeous as ever, radiating pure hatred. He pale beautiful face making her all the more frightening. And the wolves. Jacob swore by their strength but it was difficult to imagine next to the cold hardness of the vampires. They were still so soft. _Human_. And they could have been hurt and it would have been my fault because Victoria was after _me_. I felt sick.

Jacob grabbed me tightly, holding me upright. I was sure I was getting ready to pass out. I had left! And she was still after me, putting the people I love in danger. Charlie. What would happen if she found the house vacant of _me_?

"Charlie?" I asked.

"Well it would seem we are not the only ones trying to protect him." Jacob laughed, but it sounded bitter, mocking. Like the Jacob I was sure we left behind in Forks. I looked up at him, blinking in surprise and confusion.

"Your vampires seem to want to keep Charlie safe almost as much as we do" Jacob explained. Hardness covering his feature, making him look like Sam. I kissed him lightly to remind him that he was here with me, away from his werewolf commander, with his bitter arrogance. The way he said 'your vampires' irritated me but, I let it go because I didn't want to fight with Jacob. He kissed me back and I watched the bitterness evaporate from his handsome face. I wasn't entirely sure what exactly about these events was upsetting him and I didn't want to press the issue. I knew what was bothering me, though. _Victoria_. She wasn't going to stop until she killed me and God knows who else.

"Bella?" Jacob asked, suddenly alarmed "You're pale"

He made me sit at the kitchen table. I was okay. At least, I was going to be. I knew what was coming though and I was sort of dreading it.

"We're going back to Forks?" I asked. My voice sounded strained, I was scared and he could tell.

"yes" he sighed "the pack, they need us"

"us?"

"Steven and I" he laughed "no offense but what use would you be to the pack?" he asked, clearly teasing. His question sent my thoughts spiraling out of control, for just a second. What use _would_ I ever be? Why was I so useless? I couldn't even protect myself. I thought of the times when I longed to be like Edward; cold, hard, eternally beautiful, and most important; indestructible. I didn't want to be a vampire anymore, but for a moment I did wish I was strong like one. I sighed.

Jacob hesitated before speaking again "Well, they need me. Steven might not be ready to go back just yet." He sighed.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

Talking Steven into coming back to Forks was way easier than I would have expected, considering his history. But he was all too happy at the idea of vampire killing. That stressed me out more. Every time I sighed, lost in thought, Jacob would remind me

"Stress isn't good for our son" and every time he did, I felt even guiltier. We took Stevens car, instead of my truck. I was uneasy about that but Jacob and Steven were so confident this wouldn't take any time at all and we could all go home. I had to admit, his car was nice. A 2004 Honda civic, in grey, with leather interior. It was smooth, but not too flashy like the Cullen vehicles of choice.

We didn't have much, but we packed everything. Where we would stay would be figured out later. It would be weird living under Charlie again after being on my own for so long but it looked like maybe I wouldn't have a choice. I wondered briefly if I could get Jacob to come through my window and sleep with me. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to keep the nightmares away on my own. I felt a small twinge of sadness, remembering how Edward always spent nights with me. I tried to think of the fact that Jacob sleeping next to me would over write those memories.

Our car ride to Forks was nothing short of interesting. It begun with what Steven called 'the latest pack scandal.' We had packed into the car, Jacob in the back seat holding me, Steven in the front complaining how lonely he was. We laughed telling him that I was more important because there were two of us (the baby and I). Steven argued that my being pregnant was exactly why Jacob should stay in the front seat with him; because I had someone to keep me company. Jacob gladly punched him for that one. We all howled with laughter.

Apparently, Jacob had decided to call Billy this morning saying I had inspired him by calling Charlie the week before. Billy was the one who had filled him in on the Victoria news. But that wasn't all he got out of his father. Before diving into the 'latest scandal' Jacob addressed me

"Try not to pass judgment, Bella" he sighed, like he already knew I would anyway "Remember Quil?" he asked. But he didn't pause long enough for me to say yes.

"Well, he imprinted" I didn't understand why that was any kind of scandal. But I kept quiet; Jacob had warned me not to guess because I wouldn't even be close to correct. "Quil changed into a werewolf recently so he has just begun to hang around Emily's house. That's Sam's imprint. Anyway, Quill imprinted on her niece and she's a bit upset because well, it's a bit _early_."

"What do you mean _early_?" Jacob, narrowed his eyes, waiting for my reaction "Emily's niece, Claire, is two ..." he trailed off.

"But she's just a baby!" was the only protest I could manage to get out. Jacob took a while to reply, smirking along with Steven. I guessed they were both trying to keep from laughing "he's not getting any older, he will just have to sit and wait for a few decades" Jacob shrugged like this was at all normal.

I was horrified. Really? A two year old. Gross.

"I can see the judgments on your face, Bella" Jacob said, but he didn't sound the least bit irritated. He sounded amused

"It really isn't like that, Bella" Steven interjected our conversation "it isn't romantic for him. Not now. It's difficult to describe but it is kind of like gravity moves for the person you've imprinted with. When you've imprinted, nothing in this world matters more than _her_. You'd do anything, be anything ..." Steven trailed off, looking thoughtful. I was sure he was thinking of Elana. Jacob continued, probably to keep the attention off of his heartbroken cousin. I tore my eyes away from Steven, feeling bad for him.

"Quil will be the kindest older brother that girl could imagine. He'll look after her and be there when she needs him. When she's older no one will be more understanding or have more of her trust. And when she's grown up they'll be as happy as Sam and Emily, You and I." he winked at me when he said that. Causing Steven to roll his eyes and tell us to get a room.

"Doesn't she have a say in this?" I asked. "Yes, Bella, of course. But why wouldn't she choose him in the end? He will be her perfect match. Like he was designed just for her."

I thought of Jacob and how he did seem just about perfect for me. It was obvious that this is where my life should have led me and I was ecstatic. Of course she would choose Quil. Who could resist that type of adoration? I snuggled up to Jacob, falling asleep while the car rolled on smoothly, heading to Forks.

* * *

**_A/N:_ Okay its been forever. I am SO tryna update sooner. but im in college and its hard to find time. Reviews would be appreciated. and F.Y.I in upcoming chapters there is a fight, of course. The Cullens return. and What? Edward wont go away and Steven is not too happy about that. Okay i love you guys, bye. review ? **


	27. BACKWARDS

_**ALL I WANT IS YOU...**_

_Backwards_

I sighed, noticing just how green everything was. And I mean _everything._ I could feel the vibrations emitting from Stevens civic, as it rolled down the less than properly smoothed roads of Forks, but that was the only indication that we were moving; looking out the window made me feel like we were not going anywhere at all, because all the trees blended into one another in a seemingly endless sea of green. With that, there was no way to tell that we had been driving at all. I briefly entertained the idea that this was how life would probably would have ended up with Edward, at least eventually. I mean to spend all days as 17 year olds, going to school over and over again, I would think that it would probably get boring after a few hundred years, right? Days would blur together, as the tress in forks did, and I would have that feeling that I wasn't going anywhere at all. It was different with Jacob, where each day held something different. Something new. Endless excitement. I was glad to be where I was, in terms of Jacob's loving embrace. I could have done without Forks, though.

Being back felt weird, to say the least. It reminded me of too many things to even think of at once. The biggest reminder, gnawing at the edges of the hole was, of course, Edward. Which, in turn, made me think of vampires, which then led my thoughts to Victoria and my nightmares. I was scared. That was really a better word to use, as opposed to weird. Jacob, knowing me as well as he did, wrapped his arms around me tighter, crushing me to his gigantically huge, and massively warm frame. Which held my thoughts at a standstill for a time. Jacob was my absolute favorite thing to focus on, and I gladly turned, my lips to meet his lightly; reminding him, and reminding me, what was really important. I accidentally reminded Steven, too.

"Yuck" Steven gladly replied to mine and Jacob's lip locking. I laughed wholeheartedly, as Jacob hit Steven in the back of his head, making the car swerve slightly. Even though Jacob and Steven's playfulness could have very well driven us off the road, I wasn't nervous diving with the wolves, as I had once been driving with the vampires, even though the vampires had never swerved or had given any indication that they were not in perfect control of their vehicles. I put that thought away for later consideration.

"I'm just saying, man, the memory I want to accompany my thoughts surrounding my first return to Forks, in I don't know how long, is _not_ your smooching in my rearview" Steven stated in a manner that would suggest he were serious. However, knowing him as I thought I did, enabled me to look at him, just in time to watch him wink playfully, smiling all the while. Jacob gave him the finger, and we rolled with laughter in the back seat, until Steven turned up his radio to drown us out. Steven ignoring us was just fine. We went back to kissing, laughing the entire time, at the way Steven contorted his face in mock disgust.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I absolutely _had_ to see Charlie. Although I knew we were told to go strait to La Push. But even though Charlie and I were both quiet and did not exactly crave company all the time, I missed him like crazy, as if we had spent every second together before my departure and I was missing the quality time. It was insane, I felt as though I had taken him completely for granted, as I was willing to never see him again, just to stay with Edward. I was glad I didn't have to experience losing him forever, because now that I knew it hurt this bad, it was not something I wanted to last the rest of forever. If that I could have run all the way to the open door of Charlie's house, without tripping and injuring me and my unborn child, I totally would have. But, since I was protecting not one life, but two, I walked, anxious the entire time, to meet my father and wrap my arms around him.

"Wow, Bells, you're huge!" Charlie explained, pretending to have difficulty wrapping his arms around me. It made me a bit self conscience, this enormous pregnant belly. Although, Jacob bless his heart, made sure to tell me how beautiful he thought I was, everyday. I grinned, wryly, not having the complete confidence to find humor in my physical state, they way Jacob, Steven, and Charlie seemed to.

"It's good to have you back" he whispered, his voice carrying undertones of the embarrassment we both felt, which also manifested in my cheeks.

"It's good to be back" I replied. And it was almost the truth. I _was _glad to see Charlie, I just wanted it under better circumstances.

"Dad, this is Steven Black, Jakes cousin" I announced, to get some of the attention off of me, and give my cheeks some time to cool off. Charlie contemplated for just a second, like he almost didn't believe me, but shook it off quickly, shaking Stevens hand. The disbelief never quite leaving his eyes. It made me wonder if Charlie remembered all those years ago, when Steven had run off. I wondered what they had told everyone about his sudden disappearance. I didn't worry for long, Stevens smile never faltered, and he gripped Charlie's hand firmly

"Nice yo meet you, sir" he stated politely. Jacob and Charlie shared a very weird hand shake, hug combination thing, but it was cute none the less and I was glad Charlie didn't want to kill Jacob for sleeping with his daughter.

By this time, it was starting to warm up in Forks. Well, what passed for warm in Forks; about sixty-seventy degrees. That did not at all stop us from enjoying some hot chocolate, all of us crowding in Charlie's small kitchen. Between two full grown wolves, Charlie, and my enormous pregnant stomach, it was nearly stuffy. Had I been this close to anyone else other than the people I absolutely adored with all my heart, I would have been _majorly_ uncomfortable.

There were jokes, mostly about Charlie wanting to shoot Jacob. All in good fun, Steven agreed that the world would be better without him. Jacob wore a facial expression that would suggest that had there been enough room, he would have cheerfully beat Steven half to death. Steven and Jacob went back and forth about who the world would be better without. We all laughed, even Charlie. I couldn't remember ever seeing him laugh so much in one sitting. I figured he was as giddy to have me back, as I was to be back. At least, back with him. Not so much back in Forks.

I looked out the window over the kitchen sink, the sky was grey, promising, of course, some rain. Wonderful. I found myself hoping it would not rain too hard, because I knew Jacob and Steven had every intention of us spending the night outside, in La Push. Charlie hugged me again before I left

"In case you decide to disappear, again" he explained, winking. I bit my tongue to hold back a smart remark. He had pretty much sent me away, in a secretive way, if I were not mistaken. I wasn't.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

In my absence Quil had, un-surprisingly, become much, much larger, than the last time I had seen him. Being so dramatically pregnant, with Jacob's son, gave me full insight into how fast werewolves grow. Surprisingly, however, all of his new giant status was wrapped securely around me.

"Quil!" I gasped. Trying to unhook his arms from around me. I could scarcely breathe, and this unwanted contact in front of everyone was making my cheeks turn red. When he had finally let me go, I thought seriously about hitting him, but his grin stopped me. Although I hadn't thought of it before, I sort of missed him and Embry. I even missed Billy. I missed La Push; hanging out here with Jacob had really helped me get myself back.

I could see the sun setting behind the trees. It gave me an odd feeling; as though something were coming to an end and I missed it, although I didn't know what that something was. I sighed to myself as I stretched my neck, and tilted my head at an angle so I could see over the cliff that Sam and the other boys liked to jump off of. Well not boys, really. They were wolves as strange as it sounded, it was the absolute truth. The Quileute boys were really werewolves and Sam Uley was the pack leader. Did they call him the alpha male? It made complete sense that Sam was the pack leader, his Quileute heritage gave him the ability to transform into a werewolf, when the threat of the vampire became too great, and the people needed to be protected. He had been the first. I wondered about this often, because, to my knowledge the Cullens had never attacked anyone, but apparently when their family became too large, the werewolves started to come back. I had been told that there had been wolves to protect the land, before Sam and his new pack, but I knew nothing of them; where they came from, where they went, or why the werewolf gene was not always dominant enough to excite a change in all the Quileute boys, after becoming a certain age. In a way, though, I was glad because that meant my son would not automatically turn into a wolf one day, if there was no real reason for it.

It made me feel a bit better towards Sam, having found out that he really hadn't taken Jacob from me at all, but he had helped him through what was the most difficult time in his young life. I hoped against hope that it was the end of bad things happening to Jacob, the love of my life.

I couldn't say that I was completely comfortable around Sam, though. Looking at him brought back the worst memory of all; the night Edward had run away from me, though the forest. Sam had eventually rescued me, along with a search party thrown together by Charlie, who hadn't heard from me other than reading 'my' note. The note, in reality, had been written by Edward, who had duplicated scratchy hand writing the way I had once thought he did everything: perfectly.

As far as my comfort level went, I could honestly say I was much more at ease next to Sam's fiance, Emily Young, who I had just met earlier in the day.

Steven, Jacob, and I had pulled up to Emily's house, after having said our good-byes to Charlie. I was sad about leaving Charlie again so soon, but I knew that there were important 'pack matters' as Jacob had put it and my curiosity was too compelling to resist accompanying them to La Push. Emily was interesting to say the least. She was beautiful; satin like, copper toned skin, and long strait black hair that looked just as soft as her skin did. However, her perfect skin, was broken all the way down the right side of her face, scarred from hairline to chin by three, thick slashes. They were violently red on her copper skin, although they had apparently been healed for quite some time. One of the lines, pulled down the corner of her eye and twisted her mouth into a permanent grimace. The other side of her face, however, seemed to always be smiling. Her appearance would have jostled me a bit, had I pasted her in the street. I was lucky Jacob had warned me before hand.

Her story was one with a sad beginning, but a happy ending. At least, it was happy for her and Sam. Her cousin, Leah, was not so lucky. According to Jacob and Steven, who gossiped more than Jessica and Lauren, Leah and Emily were totally inseparable; more like sisters instead of cousins. Leah and Sam were just as inseparable; lovers, best-friends, determined to spend eternity together. They were high school sweethearts who started dating when Leah was just a freshman. That was all until Sam changed into a werewolf; he disappeared for weeks and Leah was consumed with worry over him. It was Quil's father, old Quil who had noticed Sam's "symptoms" and told him what he was (Sam's hand felt like he'd left it sitting on a hot stove top). Sam was lucky old Quil had come to visit Mrs. and Sam tried, as best they could, to work on their relationship, though Sam could not tell her what was happening to him because they are not _allowed _to tell anyone who doesn't have to know. When they had first mentioned this concept, it struck an absolute nerve; before Jacob had known he'd imprint on me (he had not because he hadn't seen me after the change, until the night he crawled into my bedroom window, changing my life forever) he was not allowed to talk to me, the same way Sam could not talk to Leah. Jacob continued the story quickly, after noticing my tight expression. Emily met Sam when she came to visit Leah. He immediately imprinted on her. Emily, however, did not want to have anything to do with Sam, because of his relationship with Leah. Sam begin to wear her down, though, and they started spending time together. It was during one of these secret dates that Sam "phased" and attacked her (The story in Forks was that she had been mauled by a bear). Phased, of course, being a Quileute term, meaning changed into a wolf. Why couldn't Jacob and Steven just say that? Anyway, Sam was all messed up, over having attacked Emily, and would have absolutely done anything (even throw himself under a bus) if it would make her feel better. She ended up comforting him and they had been together ever since.

I know better than most people just how wonderful it feels to find your true love, but my heart still went out to Leah, who's heart had to have been absolutely broken. She had been betrayed by both of her best friends and I was sure that had to hurt, deeply. Jacob told me that Sam really loved Leah, but after seeing Emily, that didn't matter anymore. I tried not to pass too much judgement, because wasn't that essentially what I was doing? Putting my feelings for another aside, to be with the one I was really meant to be with. I knew it was silly of me to imagine Sam had never loved anyone before Emily. Most people fall in and out of love many times in their lives, and I was no exception. But having been on the other side, the side with all the gut-wrenching heartbreak that started in your chest and consumed your entire being with despair, my heart went out to Leah.

Jacob and Steven, and the rest of the pack were absolutely in on the secrets of Emily and Sam's relationship. It _had _to get annoying, the whole thought sharing thing. My cheeks burned as I realized what they could possibly hear coming out of Jacob's mind.

So, I smiled back at Emily's welcoming, lopped sided smile. We hugged, which was a bit weird, but seemed to fit the mood of her happy little yellow kitchen, which was currently filled with more food than I would have thought it capable of holding.

"Welcome, Bella!" she said, "So, you're the vampire girl, huh?" I could tell by her tone that she was joking. I grabbed Jacob's hand, smiling and answered, "Reformed."

* * *

_A/N: Rawr, I'm in school and that is why this takes so long! Butttt, exciting things are coming up..like oh em gee..THE FINAL CHAPTER .. SOOONNN!_

_Review and We'll be friends. _


	28. FIRE

_** BABY, BURN ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT...**_

_ Fire_

The thing about Emily was that she never seemed to be able to sit still for very long, and I watched as she danced around the kitchen, flitting between pots on the stove and whatever she had baking in her oven. She did this with full concentration etched into her damaged features, as if the entire room was not covered in food already. I had offered to help and was glad to hear that she had it all under control. Though I felt awkward sitting in someone's house, who I didn't know, and doing absolutely nothing I felt more than relieved because maneuvering this enormous belly in her small kitchen would be a complete disaster with the two of us trying to navigate around each other. And as clumsy as I am, I could already foresee a trip to the emergency room. Also, I was exhausted after the the trip back to forks which had left us all sleepy and with no time to really rest once we arrived. But it was different for the wolves, they were used too not sleeping for long periods of time. Because there were often nights when they would patrol for vampires and never have a chance to rest before having to do it all over again the next night.

Emily and I chatted here and there when she was not too busy attending to what looked like it would be an absolute feast. However, after having cooked for only two werewolves, I was sure that all of this food would be gone in minutes, once the pack returned. I sighed. I missed Jacob already and I was worried about whatever this business was that needed us to come back so soon. I didn't want him playing with vampires and I hoped he was safe. Which was a little ironic since we left to protect me, but I felt as though I was glad to have him safely away from the vampires of Forks. I wished he were here to tell me that I was being absolutely ridiculous. I could hear Jacob's voice loud and clear, warning me, "Stress isn't good for our son" and I almost laughed out loud, his voice had sounded so real in my mind. It kind of made me think of Edward. Why was it that some mythical creature was always driving me nuts? So not good. I smiled, imagining the chance to tell Jacob that I had to be careful which creature I fall for next. He might not think that was funny, but I certainly did."Thinking of your wolf?" Emily asked, with a knowing smile. I hadn't realized that she was no longer focusing on her feast, and paying attention to me. I blushed and laughed nervously. She crossed the small kitchen, which took very little effort, and sat across from me, at the table. "It's quite alright, I think about Sam all day while he is gone. Even though I trust him to come back, sometimes I'm afraid he won't" she winked as my blush deepened. She was apparently one of those people I knew that were completely too observant. However, it was so nice to have a girl to talk to, not that I didn't talk to Angela on occasion, but I couldn't tell her all of the things I knew. I kept way too many secrets. And I realized at just the moment Emily opened up to me, without any hesitation, that I missed having that kind of freedom. The freedom most people take for granted; the kind where you have people you can be your complete self around. Not that I couldn't do this with Jacob, but he didn't understand girl things like I knew Emily would.

(FANCEY PAGE BREAK)

I felt very at home here it the Quileute woods, comfortable and warm between my two werewolves, with the fire blazing in front of us. I knew I should have felt strange about calling them mine. Having a claim on Jacob was completely normal, I knew that, since he was my boyfriend and there was that whole carrying his child inside of me thing that we had going on. But I couldn't help that I still felt a sort of connection to Steven. It was weird, it definitely wasn't a romantic pull, like I felt with Jacob. Nor was it how I identified with the little bit of friends I had managed to make in Forks. But, it wasn't the type of family connection I felt with Charlie, or Renee. It was _other. Different._ But strong; as though we were tethered together and he was one of those people I wouldn't be able to leave alone even if I wanted too. I felt as though I needed to have him in my life, although we hadn't known each other long, I just _knew_ he was one of the best friends I'd ever make. And I kind of hoped Emily and I would be close with me, too. It would be like having a brother and a sister, which I thought I had found once with the Cullens. If I were being honest, the hole in my chest was nearly all the way closed and I could think of how I missed Emmett and Alice, without busting out into tears and hyperventilating. But that didn't mean I wasn't upset. I could see in my peripheral vision that Jacob and Steven turned curiously as my shoulders sagged against theirs and I sighed lightly. Not that my volume mattered, with their wolf hearing they heard it as loud as if I had exhaled in the loud manner people use when they want to draw attention to the fact that they are upset. Jacob kissed my hair, wrapping his arms around me. Steven put a hand to my leg. I smiled at them both, shaking my head to say that I wasn't in need of any extra attention. I was trying to convince them, as well as myself, that I was okay with losing my best friends. Alice was always there to annoyingly play life size Barbie with me, and Emmett was great at the art of constant teasing that big brothers have somehow perfected over the years.

But, that was in the past and it was time for me to realize that letting things go was part of growing up and learning. I would have to learn to live without them. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I would take it in strides like I had been doing, and I knew I wouldn't have to do it alone. I had my wolves and the rest of the Quileutes to support me. I was one of them now, an imprintee as well as the mother of a Quileute. I was being highly favored now that I was carrying on their line. Especially Billy, since he was old and sort of sick, he was excited to see his grandson, and he was proud of Jacob for 'turning me' over to the other side. Normally something like that would offend me, but I was giddy with the fact that neither Billy or Charlie wanted one of our throats ripped out for the pregnancy. So I laughed along with him, as he held onto my hands and looked up at me like a daughter in law he was proud to have. I was so happy.

As I sat at the bonfire, between my wolves, with my stomach filled to the brim with food, I completely absolutely understood Emily's all day cooking. Some of the things she cooked had been eaten when the wolves had first returned back home, and at first I didn't understand why Emily kept telling the boys to keep their 'paws' to themselves, while batting at their hands with a wooden kitchen spoon. Some of the food was pre-cooked for tonight. Although there was also lots of raw food, to be cooked over the vast flames that everyone crowded around. But it was a comfortable crowding, especially between _my_ wolves. It was home-like, the boys fighting like brothers, over food. As if they all hadn't eaten plenty. Once the food was running out, Paul nearly socked Jacob to get his hot-dog that was skewed with a wire hanger, for superior hot-dog roasting. Jacob only laughed at Paul's red face and rock throwing. Even though the rock connected with Jacob's forehead, he laughed it completely off like it was all in good fun. It worried me, I mean, a high tolerance for pain can definitely come in handy, but the boys were so rough with each other. But thinking it through a little more, I almost laughed, with the vision of puppies playfully attacking one another. Almost. I was extremely too protective over Jacob, especially since I couldn't do anything to save him if he were in any danger. Just like with Edward, Jacob and I were unequal; he was the strong one. It bothered me because I knew it. But, I also knew we had had this conversation about equality time and time again. And though we had found lots of common ground, this was something that we wouldn't be able to compromise on, because sadly I was just weaker than him with his werewolf strength.

I decided to observe my surroundings, instead of dwelling on things that were not pleasant and couldn't be solved anyway. Then I noticed, for the first time, that Leah was also in attendance, up until now her figure had been blocked by Seth, her 'little' brother, who sat in the circle. He wasn't so little anymore, like all the Quileute boys, he seemed to grow indefinitely. Leah sat a little behind him, out of the circle surrounding the blaze. I frowned to myself, wondering just how hard it was to sick across from Sam, who sad next to Emily, the woman she lost him too. She looked so out of place, since she didn't sit in the circle with the rest of us. And she never looked up from the fire. But she didn't look sad, she just looked _there_. Like, physically there, with her thoughts a million miles away. I looked at her perfect face and couldn't help but compare it to Emily's broken features. I wondered if she saw it as Emily getting what she deserved? As ashamed as it made me, I couldn't help but think that I would feel that way, if I had to live through what happened to Leah.

I yawned and decided that it was my Que to lean my head against Jacob's chest. Lets be honest, I was waiting for the opportunity anyway. It seemed he was too, with the way he quickly pulled me closer and kissed my hair. He may have told me that he loved me, but I yawned again so I'm not sure. I closed my eyes and began to drift off into a much needed sleep."Hey, don't you start Bella, the best has yet to come" Jacob whispered to me, while playfully shaking me back awake. I frowned, I was so sleepy, but he had sparked my curiosity, a dangerous thing, so I opened my eyes and focused. "What's the best part?" I asked."Stories" answered Steven, as though he had been part of the conversation the whole time. I laughed and told him to mind his business. He told Jacob to but a muzzle on me. Which the whole bonfire found hilarious. I blushed deeply and vowed to only fight with Steven in private from now on."This is technically a counsil meeting Quil, Leah, Seth, and Kim are all first timers, hearing the stories and knowing for sure that they are true. Our histories, like how we came to be who we are now. The first story is that of the spirit warriors."

And just like that, as though Jacob's and Steven's explanation to me was the initiation, the entire atmosphere changed; people began to sit up strait or to lean in towards the elders interestedly. Emily produced a notebook and a pen, as though she was a student sitting in her favorite, most attention grabbing class. I sat up too, eager to here these legends that were really not legends at all. It made me nostalgic in a way, this was pretty much the very way Jacob and I had met, his telling me tribal stories about the wolves and the vampires. How different my life has been ever since. It was Billy Black who cleared his throat and began to speak. It was interesting the way he spoke, he didn't sound as old and feeble as he normally did, his voice was rough enough to grab attention, but it was also soft in the way that authors caress every word of their own poetry. "We, as a people, were always small in number. But large in spirit; in all these years we have never disappeared and that is thanks to the magic that runs through our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting, for that came later. At the very beginning, we were spirit warriors."

He sounded authoritative in a way that I hadn't noticed had always been there. He continued,

"In the beginning, we settled on this harbor and we were skilled fishermen and ship builders. Our tribe was so small, that another, larger tribe came to take us over. We fled to our ships in order to escape them. There had always been magic, but we do not remember the stories of the time before Kaheleha used the magic to defend our land. He was not the first spirit warrior, but he was the first great spirit chief of our history. He, and all his warriors left the ship- not their bodies, but their spirits. The women took watch over their bodies, as well as the waves, and the warriors went back to our harbor. As they couldn't physically touch the other tribe, they had to use other ways. The stories tell of fierce winds of cold blown into the enemies camp. And of great screams that terrified them. The stories also tell that the animals could see and understand the warriors, and did their bidding. They used the tribes own dogs against them, and sent an army of bats to wreak havoc. The invaders scattered, calling our land a place of the accursed. Generations passed and our warriors defended against any enemy that came to pass. Then came the great spirit of Taha Aki; the last great spirit chief. He was very wise and peaceful. His people lived content under his care. But there was one man, named Utlapa, who was not content, as the rest were."almost everyone around the fire hissed at this mans name. Billy ignored it and continued his tale,"Utlapa; he was a powerful spirit warrior, strong but also grasping. It was his belief that the people should embrace their magic and use it to enslave neighboring tribes, with whom we lived in peace. Taha Aki forced Utlapa to leave and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa wanted revenge, and waited patiently for it in a forest nearby. Taha Aki, even in times of peace, wanted to be sure that his people were protected. He would often go to a secret place and leave his body to be able to keep watch over the forests. One of these times, Utlapa followed. The instant he was joined in the spirit world Taha Aki was aware. And he knew instantly of the murderous plan. He raced back to the place he had left his body, but by the time he returned, it was gone. Utlapa's body was there, but it had been cut to shreds by Utlapa himself, using the hands of Taha Aki. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury as Utlapa assumed his place as chief. He did nothing for weeks, but make sure everyone believed that he was Taha Aki. But then he began to make changes; he took second and third wives, although the first wife lived on. He forbade anyone from entering the spirit world, because he was afraid of Taha Aki, he refused to work alongside his warriors. It was a terrible life for Taha Aki, being away from ones body is disorienting and uncomfortable. Its horrifying. He tried to kill his own body, with the use of a wolf, in order to save his tribe, but when a warrior was caught and killed instead, he sent the wolf away."

I could feel Steven tense, and I knew he was thinking of his imprint. I placed a hand on his leg, as he had done for me earlier, and he smiled a silent thank you. I squeezed.

"The wolf followed Taha Aki's sprit around. It was very large for its kind and quite beautiful. Taha Aki became jealous of the animal, because he had not a body of his own. And it was through this jealousy that he got an idea that changed us all. He asked the wolf to please make room for him, to share. The wolf complied. Taha Aki entered his body with relief and gratitude; it wasn't as good as his human body had felt to him, but it was much better than the nothingness of the spirit world. Together, man and wolf ran to the harbor. The people ran in fear and called for the warriors to come. Taha Aki did not attack his warriors, instead he retreated slowly and attempted to communicate through his eyes, yelping the songs of the tribe. They began to realize that there must be a spirit influencing the animal. An older warrior, named Yut crossed into the spirit world and Taha aki left his host body at once to reveal his story. The wolf waited patiently for his companion to return. When Utlapa went to see if the wolf had been dealt with, he saw Yut's lifeless body laying on the ground. When Yut returned, he was killed before he had the chance to speak the truth. Taha Aki was consumed with anger, he jumped back into the wolf's body, with a fury like no other. He intended to rip out Utlapa's throat. But his anger at Utlapa combined with the love for his people was too much for the wolf's body. It was too human. The wolf shuddered and before the eyes of the shocked tribe, turned into a man. He did not look as Taha Aki's human body had, because his new body has taken on the form of his spirit. His warriors recognized him at once, they had flown with his spirit many times. He crushed Utlapa before he could leap out of his stolen body, and the people rejoiced. He set everything right again. He returned the wives to their families. But he did not let anyone spirit travel again, he knew it was too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life had been created by Utlapa's treachery. Taha Aki was more than wolf or man and he led the tribe peacefully for many years. Turning to his wolf self whenever danger threatened his people. He fathered many sons, who found that after the age of manhood, they too could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they reflected the spirit of each man."

"So that must be why Sam is black," Quil joked under his breath, "Black heart heart, black fur.""And what does your chocolate fur mean? How _sweet_ you are?" Sam answered. Billy ignored them, "Some of his sons became warriors with Taha Aki, and none of them aged." Jacob smiled down at the glare I had waiting for him. "Others, who chose not to join the pack of wolves began to age again, because they gave up their sprit wolves" Billy said. My heart fluttered as comprehension sank in; as soon as this vampire business was over then he could stop changing so that we could resume our lives. It was so different from what I had with Edward where there was never any compromise. He couldn't start aging again whether he wanted to or not, nor would he change me so that I could stop too. But at least Jacob could stop, which was one of the many reasons, I was sure, we were imprinted. We were absolutely perfect for each other and this realization just further emphasized that point. Billy's tale continued, "Taha Aki lived through the years of three old men. After the deaths of his first two wives, he took a third, and in her he found his true spirit wife. He had loved the others but this was something else entirely. He gave up his spirit wolf, so that he could die when she did." I smiled, because it was the very thing I had been thinking about Jacob and I. He shook his head at me playfully, with a smile that mirrored my own. Billy went silent, and old Quil shifted in his chair and began to speak, "This is how the magic came to us, but it is not the end of of story. This is the story of the third wife's sacrifice."

I had to admit, the second story, I did not like at all. It was about vampires which hit a sore spot anyway. It was about vampires killing off members of a neighboring tribe, who then blamed the wolves that they were afraid of. The wolves, to clear their name, went out in search of the culprit, who found it to be sickly sweet and beautiful. And especially deadly. It then killed sons of Taha Aki, who had become an old man. His very last son that was of age was able to kill the vampire. He had one son left to fight, when the mate of the first vampire came to seek her revenge. This part in particular bothered me because it was entirely too close to home. Jacob held me tighter during that part. So it came down to it, that the last son was killed, and Taha Aki decided, in his old age, to enter his wolf form once more. He was gray and old, but he had anger and love on his side again, so he was able to fight at least a little. But the vampire was strong, the way all vampires are, with granite cold hard skin. So when the third wife realized that her husband was not going to make it, she took a knife and cut herself (in the heart of all places) to distract the vampire with her blood. Of course that worked, Alice had told me, and I had seen it first hand with jasper, that it was difficult to control a vampire with spilling blood around. It worked and Taha Aki was able to go for her throat. In their anger, his sons that had not yet reached manhood had changed into wolves just in time to disassemble the vampire along with Taha Aki.

That made complete sense thinking back to when Jacob had changed, because he had gotten angry, and he had nearly attacked Billy. Although it had been different, because they no longer became wolves when they reached a certain age, it was when there was a need for the tribe to be protected. Which was why there were so many now, because of the Cullen family and because of Victoria running around. It was a burden, old Quil said, as everyone stared at one another with sadness in their eyes. That was until Quil scoffed, "burden? I think its cool!" and Seth nodded, prompting Billy and the other elders to chuckle. The magic that had seemed to descend on us at the beginning of the story began to evaporate into the night. The stories took my focus away momentarily, I wasn't there, the same way everyone else was. It was more how I imagined Leah to be. Just physically there with thoughts so far away even the person they belonged to could hardly catch them. My thoughts were not on the vampires, or even the wolves. My thoughts were on someone entirely outside of the magic, the third wife who's name I wished they knew. She, a completely human woman with no special powers, had saved everyone. It gave me hope that maybe I didn't have to be weaker than Jacob after all. Because I knew, with no doubt that I was willing to sacrifice myself for him, our son, and Steven. That was my family and I knew that if I had to, I would protect them with my life.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

After the tribal meeting, I was absolutely ready to go home. But it was entirely too far for me to drive. I was going to make Jacob or Steven take me, but he and Steven both had to patrol. They offered to let Sam drive me home, and I was too uncomfortable to accept. I ended up staying at the Black house for the night, curled up warm in Jacob's bed. At first I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep, it had been so long since I had slept alone I wasn't sure I would be able to handle it. I did miss Jacob's warmth around me, but I was so tired, I drifted off within seconds. My dreams supplied me with the fire that Jacob's arms did not, since he wasn't there. But it was not the comfortable hot I was used too, it was a burning stifling pain. Everything was dark, and burning hot. The only thing I could make out against the darkness were the flames. They danced around me in a rhythm that made me feel as though I were being taunted. My skin began to burn, and I knew something was wrong, I called to Jacob. He didn't answer. There was only a slow distant wine, that sounded like a wounded animal. But just that sound, it was strangely human and filled with absolute agony. It was Jacob. I ran towards it and the flames danced faster. They were telling me that I would never make it in time. I knew, even without there prodding that I wouldn't make it in time. I held a long sharp ancient blade in my hands and I knew at once that only my blood could save him.

* * *

Review? I'll be happy if you do that for me ..  
Okayy if you couldnt tell we are in eclipse now .. so you know what that means? EPIC BATTLE SCENES ARE COMING UP WHOOT WHOOT!  
Okayloveyoubye.


	29. Wolf Girl

_**WE CAN DO THIS, SIMPLE AND PLAIN, THIS LOVE IS A SURE THING…**_

_Wolf Girl_

I was going to scream, anyway. Which is what made the fact that Jacob was shaking me awake nearly comical. My nightmare, I knew, must have been disturbing him. I could feel myself toss and turn. even in my sleep, I was fretful. It happened sometimes; along with the nightmares I would toss and turn, scream and moan. He must have wanted to stop me from screaming, I reasoned, because I was in Billy's house. I was dimly aware of this fact though, because Jacob was already screaming? My head was too cloudy to interpret his words right away. I was confused, not yet lucid, because I had been woken up abruptly at the moment I was about to wake up all by myself. It sounds stupid, I know, but it made me feel dizzy with incomprehension. His face and his words slowly came into focus.

"Bleeding, Bella, you're bleeding!" he screamed into my face. That made me even more confused for all of two seconds, and then it made me scared. I tried to ask him where, why, _how _this was happening in my life. Had Vitoria been attacking me and he came to my rescue? No, I knew that was not the case at all, because the blood stains in the sheets led the trail up, disappearing between my legs. I wanted to scream too, but I didn't know where my voice was.I looked up at Jacob questioningly, and realized with a substantial twinge in my heart, he was looking extremely worried at me. I was scared because I was expecting him to be strong. On some distant level my mind registered that I needed to pee real bad, as had been the case ever since the baby began to sit on my bladder. I realized in that instant that peeing would be the least of my worries, but I had to go. And I had to get out of these clothes and to a doctor. And I had to comfort Jacob, because he looked so scared. All these things passed quickly through my mind. Or so I thought. Jacob was asking me what happened, urgently. It made me sure he had asked this already, at least a few times. Did I have to pee so bad that I couldn't focus? Or had a lost that much blood? I blacked out.

Coming back to the present made me very aware that it smelled like rust and salt, and I was dizzy with it filling my nostrils, clouding around me, clinging to the sheets. I heard Jacob scream something in the distance of the darkness, his pain washed over me in waves, but I was too far gone to feel anything for him. When I came to, I was on the floor, covered in my own sweat, my own blood, and Jacobs tears. I was in his lap, one of his hands on my stomach, the other knotted in my hair. The scent of blood was almost enough to take me back under.

"Jake?" my voice was horse, how long had it been since I had something to drink? Why did that matter?

"Bella, oh thank God! I was so worried. We were all worried. We were about to call an ambulance." Jacob answered, through kisses to my forehead.

"What happened?" I asked, scared of the answer.

"Dad heard you in my room screaming your head off he says, and found you bleeding. He called Emily, to reach Sam, to get to me" It was weird, but I could imagine Sam waking up in the middle of the night, Emily handing him the phone, and Sam having to turn into a wolf in order to communicate with Jacob. I looked up and saw Sam, I shuddered. Emily was there too, along with Sue Clearwater. If I wasn't already worked up I would feel weird about all these people crowding around me, while I was in nothing but an old t-shirt of Jacobs and some of his boxers. Both soaked through with my blood. There were more pressing matters, though, and if I were being completely honest I'd say I was dreading the moment when I would have to ask

"The baby?" my voice cracked. I needed water.

"Should be fine, happens all the time" I heard Billy speak, as he wheeled himself into Jacobs already cramped room. Jacob glared at the old man I wondered why. If maybe Jacob was blaming him for not taking care of me? Billy was carrying water, God bless that man, I had never been happier to see him. I smiled gratefully as he handed me the glass and all of the water was gone entirely too soon.

"What happens all the time, exactly?" I asked Billy. Jacob answered instead

"the blood, it means you're going into labor." he whispered. I passed out again, this time not from the scent of blood.

It was almost like a game, every time I passed out, it seemed, I awoke in a different place than I had been when I passed out. I was back on the bed. Everyone was gone, expect Jacob and Steven. Steven sat beside me, Jacob was rummaging through his closet.

"Jake" I said, he turned around, a relieved grin spreading across his face.

"I was looking for some of my clothes that would fit you, we need to take you to the hospital and soon. When the blood stops, your water is going to break, and I understand that labor with a child who contains the wolf gene is not pleasant" his relieved grin turning apologetic. I sighed, I didn't know what to say. This was all very sudden, mostly because no one knew how much time it took, with the accelerated growth and all. It was different for every member of this tribe, Jake told me. I knew it would be unexpected, but I honestly had thought I had more time. Steven kissed my head, got up, and left. It wasn't like the way Jacob kissed my head, but it was still comforting, brotherly. The way I imagine it would have felt if Emmet had ever slowed down enough to kiss me.

Jacob took Steven's place on the bed, and held me. "Dad thought I already knew to expect blood. He wasn't sure why I was freaking" Jake said. That was the reason for the glare. I couldn't return his smile.

"you're not happy?" he asked softly. He sounded so hurt, I started to cry

"I am" I sobbed, trying to sooth him. And I wasn't really lying, I thought, because I wasn't exactly sad. I was scared.

"you're worried" he guessed. It was if he had plucked the thought right off of the tip of my brain. It was still sweet and unsettling, the way he could read my mind, especially after I had met an actual mind reader and he could do nothing of the sort to me. I smiled though my tears

"Yes, very." I sighed again.

"Well, me too, but I am also excited. I love you, and you love me. We created a child out of our love for each other" his brows pulled together in an adorably expression of confusion and fear?"Its beautiful" I answered. The relieved grin came back. And it was beautiful, because of exactly what he said. We loved each other, what better way to bring a baby into the world? None that I could think of. This was a new life we were starting, by starting a new life. It was sweet, but more than a little scary. I mean I had always taken care of myself, and my mother. I could cook and clean and I was smart enough to help him with school work. And I knew I loved my baby more than the waking world, but I couldn't help being afraid that I would somehow mess this all up.

"I'm here for you, Bella, we'll do it together" he said. That was enough to placate me. At least for now.

So I got dressed in some of Jacobs old sweat pants, because they had a draw string, and another shirt. Jacob stayed in the back seat of the car with me, Steven drove us to the hospital. Billy and the others rode separately, and he promised to call Charlie for me. Billy, was such a life saver this night.

(FANCY PAGE BREAK)

I hadn't seen the bright lights of the Forks hospital since that time Tyler Crowley nearly squashed me with his car. I had been in other hospitals since then, though. There was that time James had tried to video tape my murder, to start a fight with Edward. I didn't like this particular trip down memory lane, and focused instead on the nurse who was wheeling me into a room down the hall. Her skin was caramel colored, and it matched her hair perfectly. Her lips and eyes were both big, wide, and really sexy. Both covered in makeup. She looked like she should model, she was tall and thin and was wearing kitten heels to match her makeup and uniform, as opposed to the other nurses, who wore comfortable sneakers all day and didn't bother with makeup. I wondered about this briefly, why on earth would you hurt your feet all day? The answer came to me before the question fully formed in my mind. To impress someone. I had an idea of who that could be and I hoped against hope that this was one of the times the Cullen's had taken a "family vacation." please, please, please, I thought, let them be away hunting. _Stupid Bella_.

I had just settled into my room with Jacob on one side of me and Steven on the other, when Carlisle walked in, with all his movie star glory. He was still just as handsome as the day we'd met. The look of shock mirrored my own for all of five seconds, until his features smoothed out in a mask of professionalism. I didn't know if it was his vampire nature or just the simple fact that he was a doctor that allowed him to hide his emotions so well in the hospital. My wolves were not so trained. He grabbed my chart from the bottom of my hospital bed.

"Vampire!" they both spat, nostrils flaring. This was not the time to start WWIII, dammit, I was trying to push a living human out of me. Which I think is the only thing that saved us. Carlisle was in the middle of explaining the fact that he was the only doctor working, to my wolves, when the first contraction hit.I caught Steven giving Carlisle the middle finger before I doubled over with pain. Well doubled over as far as a could, bending that way was awkward, because of my enormous stomach. I felt the pain travel up my spine, and I winced. I could hardly muster up the energy to tell Carlisle to provide drugs, and _fast_!He stuck me in the back and I moaned. Jacob squeezed one hand, Steven caught the other. The fight was over, I was the center of attention. For once I was glad to be. I was sure the two wolves would have gotten hurt trying to rip Carlisle apart. I was more worried for them, not that I didn't think the two of them could take him, he was only one lone vampire, and I knew they were not as indestructible as I had once thought. It really said something about how much I changed, I used to be sure nothing could beat a vampire. Now I was a wolf girl.

Carlisle took my temperature and pulse. Timed the contractions. Said a lot of things I couldn't hear through the pain that had dulled, but did not completely leave me. Jacob told me it would be difficult. I knew it was that damn wolf gene and I was tempted to kill Jacob later for this. But I couldn't stay consistently mad. For one the pain was too intense to focus consistently, and two, Jacob wouldn't stop apologizing and kissing me. He sounded close to tears. In between contractions I had enough decency to feel ashamed of myself. Until the pain started back up, then I was back to despising Jacob. And Steven for that matter, simply because he was a werewolf, least the pain was too intense to be embarrassed at Carlisle having to open my legs. I'd save it for later.

"..ten centimeters" I heard him say, I had lost the beginning. But I knew that it meant the baby was coming. I pushed when Carlisle told me to, and relaxed when he said it was okay. It felt like forever, really it was only the better part of an hour that I was pushing. The contractions had lasted a bit longer. It hurt, I panted. I clawed Jacob and Steven. Those out in the waiting area, including Charlie and Billy, would be glad they were not here for my shrieking string of profanities. Steven and Jacob, were trying to stifle their laughter. I'd strangle them both later.I almost passed out when it was over it hurt so bad. They had ripped me apart and had stitched me back up. I felt sick from the pain that traveled from between my legs, all up my back, stopping after hammering in my skull.

I heard my son crying and I started too. Then Jacob started too. He whispered that he was happy, and he thanked me, also he said that he was so very sorry that it had hurt. We were looking into each others eyes, with an understanding of contentment; I forgave him, and we loved each other. I guess, this time, I wouldn't strangle him for being a wolf.

"It's a beautiful baby girl" Carlisle whispered, handing her to the nurse to be cleaned off.

Jacob and I both looked at each other with perfect twin expressions of awe, and then at Carlisle. He laughed. It was the first time I had seen him being his old self since he walked in and had to avoid fighting with my two wolves.

"Thought you were having a boy, I take it?" he said, laughing again. His voice musical, almost as much as Edwards had been. Maybe it was the fact that I had just finished pushing out Jacobs child, but the hole in my chest didn't ache when I thought this. Which was such a Relief.

"Well, the pregnancy was so fast we thought…" I trialed off at the confused expression on Carlisle's face. He knew nothing about the wolves, really. I suddenly felt that I would be betraying secrets if I let him in on wolf mechanics now.

"yes, we thought it was a boy" Jacob answered, and he almost managed to keep the snarl out of his voice. He was grateful to Carlisle for having delivered our baby, keeping us both safe. He said as much, with his voice tight as if I were pinching him and forcing him to be civil to the doctor. It softened when he spoke to me

"I'm still happy, she's beautiful Bella." I looked over to see what he saw, she was all clean and he was right, she was very, very beautiful. She had golden skin, a few shades lighter than Jacobs, having been diluted with my own pale skin. Thank the Heavens, she ran at a normal temperature. Her eyes were closed, so we had no idea what color they were, but her hair was the same chocolate brown as mine, and there was lots of it, thick and shiny. Her cheeks were high, and her lips were a thin ribbon of pink silk.

Carlisle took both our vitals, and told as and the nurses he would prescribe some pain medication for me which I was grateful for, and then he slipped out in that silent way vampires always managed perfectly.

Charlie and Billy came in shortly after the nurse handed my daughter back to me, after a vaccination for hepatitis. One of many they said. I felt bad, she cried when the needle stuck her. I was glad when they gave her back to me she felt tiny and secure in my arms. And she was quiet, although Jacob had made it very clear that he did not want hem to give her a pacifier since weaning children off of them is so difficult. Jacob, who couldn't wait to take her from me, was glad too. He was respectful, gave me a moment to bond, and then wanted his own moment. Steven left to get our dads. We switched again when they came in and I was glad to hold her, something I knew I would never tire of although I was very aware of the fact that she would get spoiled and would want to be picked up all the time.

Billy and Charlie both came in, hands outstretched to Jacob. Charlie put a vase with flowers on my bedside table, clearly he ran to the gift shop before he came down here, since no store was open, it was the middle of the night. Billy expressed his surprise that it was a girl. I knew this was big news, since it was suppose to be a boy since it grew the way a wolf would have. I would be curious about what this meant, later. Charlie put his hand on my shoulder and smiled down at the baby in my arms.

"She's beautiful, Bells. She looks just like you did when I held you in the hospital" Charlie said, looking proud. I laughed a little and called him 'Gramps.'

"as soon as you feel better, you're grounded for that comment" he answered. We all howled with laughter. Quil and Embry both came in after our dads had left. They snapped pictures which I was sure I looked terrible in, they made corny jokes. I was beginning to feel sleepy from the IV. Jacob shooed the boys out.

I woke up a few hours later, whatever Carlisle had given me it wasn't strong enough to keep me sleeping through the rest of the night. I was grateful for that. Jacob had our daughter in his arms, he was feeding her formula from a bottle that looked bigger than she was, from my perspective. I smiled.

"I love you both" I said. Jacob looked up and smiled back.

"I'd come kiss you, but she looks comfortable" he said, apologetically.

"I'd come kiss you, but I'm sure it hurts to walk" I said in the same tone. We both laughed.

"We need a name" I said. This was strange, we had a boys name picked out so long ago. We fought all day and decided on the perfect one. Now I felt a bit sad, as if it had gone to waste.

"You owe me a son" I said to Jacob, laughing at him, because I knew beyond a doubt that if his hands had been free, he would have given me the finger in a very Steven-like fashion, who was always flipping me off. The formula ran out, and she was fast asleep like any good baby. Jacob handed her to me and I swear I fell in love with her all over again. She was perfect and I was so happy. My eyes welled up with tears and Jacob looked entirely too proud of himself.

"Hey, shut up, it takes two, you know" I laughed.

"Now _you're_ reading _my_ mind?" he looked generally shocked. It was my turn to look proud."The vampire came back when you were passed out, says you can leave today, they just want to run some tests on 'Baby Black' first" Jacob informed me. I frowned, I would talk to him later about referring to Carlisle as only a vampire, because he was also the doctor who delivered our baby. But, what bothered me about his sentence, was the 'Baby Black' that was no kind of name for our daughter. Jacob noticed my frown. "yeah, I know. We'll spend the day working on it."

My frown deepened. I wish we had prepared for this. Not having a backup name made me feel more immature than any of the stupid things I had done thus far. And that included dropping out of school and running away. If I were being completely honest I hadn't cared about school for the longest time, but I still should have finished. I should have stayed. We both should have stayed.

Thinking that made me feel silly, because I really didn't regret running away with Jacob, falling in love, or our baby. But I felt like I should be a little more sorry for my rash decisions. I had never been 'that girl' who got knocked up, or dropped out, or married too early. I was usually much more responsible. Jacob, it could be argued, brought out the worst in me. Or the best in me. Depends on how you looked at it. In some ways, he made me way more free, and it was a wonderful feeling. But at the same time I was not being responsible with my freedom and that was bad I guess. Even though it didn't _feel _wrong. With Edward, I also had neglected responsibilities because I thought he was all that mattered, the difference was, Edward had tried to keep me on track. Edward would be the one to try to use his super human speed to save me from falling off of a motorcycle, Jacob would let me fall. I could even imagine him laughing about my clumsy nature. That was more what I was looking for right about now. I didn't need someone acting as a superior being, an all knowing parental figure. I needed someone on my level, who would let me make my mistakes, would make their own, and would be able to laugh with me about our stupidity.

"We're stupid" I told him. I laughed whole heartedly and I knew he agreed because he laughed just as much. He kissed my nose.

"You're very silly, Bella" he told me. _Stupid Bella _was more like it. But I didn't say anything.

"Your house or mine?" I asked, instead. He smiled widely.

"Mine. So you will be protected, of course." he was so happy to have us that he didn't even want us a few miles away from him, I knew. Maybe I could almost read his mind. Imprint magic? I wasn't sure. I didn't care. I was happy. Until they wheeled my baby away for some testing. I frowned even more when Jacob left to allow Emily, Sam, and Billy in. There was a limit on how many people could be in a room at one time.

I still felt weird around Sam even though I knew I shouldn't. He came to check up on me, he rescued me from the woods, clearly he wasn't that bad of a guy. And he carried a car seat. Brand new. I was about to tell him that I had every intention of sending Steven to get us one, when he cut me off

"Jacob told us how you're weird about gifts, but we bought this long ago…" he trailed off and he and Emily looked at each other for one moment. I understood clearly, they had been trying to have a baby and had failed. I blushed, it was a sensitive subject. I felt weird because I had just had a baby, and it hadn't even been planned and two people that wanted one, couldn't make one. I smiled and said thank you, Sam. Emily hugged me. She stayed after Same and Billy exited back out of the room.

"They have official business, now. Your having a girl has really caused a heap of chaos on the reservation." Emily informed me brightly. I blushed again.

"Why?"

"Girls don't usually carry the gene, and they think it has something to do with all the vampires around and they are worried about what it means for the rest of the females of our tribe. They might all start turning now, after…" she trailed off and shook her head no.

"I'll let Jake tell you" she promised. That aggravated my curiosity in a major way, a dangerous thing. I wanted to press her, but Carlisle came in before I got the chance too. So any pack secrets I could have possible gotten out of my new friend, went out of the window. Emily left, but she did smile in Carlisle's direction and I was glad that at least some one from la push had some sense to be decent. "Doctor Carlisle" I said formally.

"Bella" he said and it sounded like, well almost the way Edward said my name. like it was full of adoration, but not in a creepy way, don't get me wrong. But it bothered me. I looked at him questioningly. He crossed the short distance between us, and he hugged me. Professional mask melted. I hugged him back on impulse. After spending so much time with wolves I had forgotten just how cold the vampires were. I shivered a little because of the shock. It made me think of Edward.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, and I thought his mask was back. But I looked into his eyes and they were not that stony gaze any longer. Liquid gold.

"I feel sore" I answered honestly

"But I'm good. I'm happy" I heard myself tell him. The hole in my chest ached a little, I missed Jacob and my daughter 'Baby Black' they kept me strong.I wondered if when I told him that I was sore, if he heard the bitter, accusing edge to my tone.

"We all miss you, Bella. Alice saw all of this and really wanted to come with us."

"Alice?" I asked. My voice was awed. She had abandoned me with the others, but I kind of wished she had come with- wait what had he said?

"Us?" I asked suspiciously, on some level I was sure it was Esme, but on the other, I was sure I knew.

"I couldn't stop him, I tried." I felt as though Carlisle were lying.

"Edward?" I asked shakily. I thought I might pass out again, and almost giggled thinking about where I'd wake up next time.

"everyone wanted to make sure you were well" Carlisle answered, before his son walked through my door.

* * *

a/n : Dun Dun Dun *ominous music*

Reviews Make me update =]

We'll be besties if you share you questions, comments, concerns. ;)


End file.
